Episode 11 - Determining What You Will and Won’t Accept with Rachelle Davis
By Jessica Garrison
Our guest this week is a self-motivating, spiritual, down-to-earth realist with an open mind, capable of seeing both sides of the story. As an Air Force veteran diagnosed with chronic fatigue, Rachelle Davis offers a unique perspective into the embracing layers journey.
While discussing the importance of supporting women in living unapologetically, Rachelle brought up the need for women to advocate for themselves, especially in the doctor’s office. We’ve had past guests share the dire need for this as well, but I want to bring attention to it specifically because it could potentially mean life or death. Women are not always believed, especially in doctor’s offices. It’s an overreaction, it’s hormones, we’re emotional, or we just need to lose a bit of weight. Thankfully, people like Rachelle exist and remind us how necessary it is to fight for yourself—you’re the one who will do it the best.
You know how your body feels and if something feels uncomfortable, then you need to stand by that statement that something isn’t right. People may try to convince you that it’s all in your head, it’s a minor diagnosis, and maybe even offer up some pills to help the symptom go away. However, Rachelle reminds us to get to the root causes of our pain or uneasiness; treating one part of your concerns may help for a little while, but it won’t heal the whole problem. We have to treat the whole symptom rather than just one part of it. For example, fatigue might mean something on its own, but combined with headaches or chest pain, the results could change entirely. We have to look at the big picture within our bodies to improve and protect ourselves.
For Rachelle, being in the military meant she was government property. Whatever her assignment was for the day, she had to complete it, even if she wasn’t in the best headspace. She was happy to do it, however this mindset has stuck with her for quite some time, and it can be difficult to unlearn habits. But Rachelle has found her answer with a chronic fatigue diagnosis and has been able to overcome the difficulties. This episode is a reminder that one doctor is not the end all be all, and there’s nothing wrong with getting a second opinion. There is of course a time and place for traditional medicine, but sometimes a holistic approach can be more beneficial, depending on what your concerns are.
You can read more about Rachelle’s journey with chronic fatigue on her website and check out the resources on the Embracing Layers page. I hope hearing Rachelle’s story encourages women to advocate for themselves when it comes to their health, as well as all other aspects in life.
Ways to Engage: Next time you go to the doctor’s, even if it’s just for a check-up, think of any concerns you may have beforehand. Write them down and mention any concerns you may have. If you’re not convinced it’s what is best for you, then seek out other opinions. No one knows your body more than you do and it’s important we treat it with the respect it deserves.
Episode 10 - More Possibilities, Less Judgment with Kathy Hadizadeh
By Jessica Garrison
Our guest this week, Kathy Hadizadeh, is a colorful woman who is known for her smile and enthusiasm for life. Even though I haven’t met Kathy personally, after listening to her episode and working on this blog, I adore who she is and what she stands for.
The conversation of boundaries stuck out to me greatly during this episode because Kathy covers a variety of facets that we don’t always think of but are important to remember nonetheless. She brought up the difference in stressors that I think everyone should know about. Not all stressors are bad, even though the word has a negative connotation. The kind of stress we don’t want is called distress, and that can negatively impact our bodies and health; it’s what we immediately think of when we hear the word stress. However, there is another stressor called eustress that is actually beneficial to us, keeping us motivated and focused. A few examples of what can cause eustress are starting a new job, traveling, or meeting new people. Kathy talks about the significance of knowledge in our lives, and by continuing to educate ourselves, we can discover our best selves along the way.
There’s many layers when it comes to our boundaries, and we’re constantly learning about ourselves as we maneuver our way through life. As Kathy pointed out, if we’re not feeling good in our bodies or in our minds, then we’re not likely to make good decisions. Sustaining boundaries is similar to self care—if we don’t stand by them, then it continues to weigh on us until we don’t have a choice anymore. We reach a point of exhaustion or burnout (another difference that Kathy reminds us is important to learn), but we don’t want to see people hit a wall before they start taking care of themselves. By starting now, you have a better chance of understanding your boundaries and why sticking to them matters.
Melissa always introduces our guests by their character traits rather than what they do for a living because we are more than just our jobs. We are more than just a banker, engineer, doctor, teacher, or whatever profession the guest may have. However, with how much we expect people to work in our society and the importance we put on our careers, it becomes a part of our identities as Kathy points out, and it can become difficult to let go. Working is a balance, and that’s where our boundaries are typically tested the most.
I could go on forever with the topic of boundaries, let alone everything else in this episode, but Kathy has her own website where you can check out her story, her mission, and how she helps others. She has such a powerful story, and there is a great deal to take away from it—I can’t wait to hear what everyone else’s favorite parts were.
Ways to Engage: Next time you’re feeling stressed, decipher how this may impact you. Is it eustress that can be beneficial for your body? Or is it distress, and you need to take a few moments to breathe. Sometimes we confuse excited stress for nervousness, and it can change our whole mindset by getting a new perspective. Not all stress is bad, and by learning more and creating conversations, we can begin to move past this common misconception.
Episode 9 - Get Connected With Loving Yourself with Fran Bailey
By Jessica Garrison
Fran Bailey is a nurturing, caring, joyful, and loving woman who does so much for the community of healing. There is a remarkable amount to learn from her journey and how she has become such an inspiration for self love.
Being a healer, Fran is very connected to the physical and spiritual aspects of health. Your body is your vessel (and the only one you get), so it should get the care it deserves. Fran does body work and meditation every day and helps others in these endeavors as well, though healing can look like a variety of things. Just like when we talk about self care, what works for one may not work for all, so it’s important to listen to what your body wants.
During this talking point, Fran says, “You’re allowed to be here. You’re allowed to change. You have permission,” and I just had to underline, highlight, and star that quote. We tend to get caught up in outside noise of what others want us to do and where they think we should be going. One of the most important things during your journey is to trust your body and allow yourself to exist where you are in the moment.
You’re allowed to be in this place in your life and take up space. You’re allowed to change your mind, change your views, change your appearance, or change anything that doesn’t align with you; it’s no one else’s business what you’re doing for yourself, especially when it’s what you need. We have to give ourselves permission to feel and then act upon those feelings. Give yourself permission to take a nap in the middle of the day because your body is tired. Give yourself permission to cancel plans because your anxiety is heightened or give yourself permission to go for a longer run when you have pent up energy. Whatever it may be, we need to give our minds and bodies what they need to continue to grow.
It doesn’t have to be long activities either that free up your body. Fran talks about a 20 minute piece she designed to focus on people’s pressure points because she understands time is limited for people. It may take time to find what works best in healing your body, but it’s worth it in the end to have those tools and resources.
You can check out Fran’s website for services or to learn more from her courses, and her personal resources will be on the Embracing Layers website. Through this episode, I hope everyone can begin the journey to finding what heals their mind and body.
Ways to Engage: Try starting a day to day journal of your feelings—both emotional and physical. Correspond these feelings with an activity or exercise that aligns with what you need for the day to either sustain this feeling or develop a healthier outlook for the day.
Episode 8 - No More Painful Periods & More with Isabella Thor
By Jessica Garrison
Trigger warnings: suicide, infertility, stillbirth
We love to have discussions that benefit women, even if they aren’t always deemed “appropriate.” Periods are a fact of life, and it’s imperative that women receive as much information as they can. Isabella Thor is a loving, playful, and orgasmic woman who brings so much to the F.E.E.L conversation.
Isabella expresses the importance of setting time aside for yourself everyday, and I couldn’t agree more. For her, the time is spent stretching and moving her body, but this could be anything that makes you feel nourished. It’s about giving yourself the time you deserve, and we have to remember it isn’t selfish to think this way. When I first started writing for the podcast, I was a guest on a season 2 episode entitled “Prioritizing the Time.” I’m a huge advocate for people scheduling their self care time or any time they want for just themselves.
Sometimes I’ll hear a friend say they want to see a particular movie, but they don’t have any time. If it’s something you really want to do, then you should be able to set aside 2 hours for yourself out of the week to do it. No matter what it may be, scheduling that self care time can be life changing, and this in turn helps to develop boundaries.
It isn’t easy to set boundaries, especially if you don’t have a lot of practice at it. There might be some pushback from people in your life who aren’t used to it, but you have to stand by what makes you happy, and your time is valuable. Sometimes it even creates a positive domino effect where others will feel inspired to do the same.
Isabella offers a great breathing exercise for times you’re feeling rushed, overwhelmed, or caught in a thought loop (a thought loop is a pattern of repetitive thoughts that can contribute to mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorders). Slow everything down by breathing in, holding your breath, exhaling, and holding again in 5 second increments. I always think in my head that breathing exercises won’t work, but then when I utilize them, it really helps to bring my anxiety down. Even if you haven’t tried it before, see if this helps with the anxiety that setting boundaries can bring.
There’s a free article Isabella mentions during the episode entitled, The 5 Steps to Resolve Period Pain for Good, that offers further insight into a pain free period. Her expertise and kind hearted attitude makes this an episode you definitely won’t want to miss!
Ways to Engage: Think of something you’ve wanted to do recently but haven’t found the time to do it. Not something someone else has been bugging you to do or something work related, but an activity that nourishes your soul. Carve time out of your schedule, write it in your planner, and stand by your boundaries to accomplish it. Sometimes you have to push yourself to make the time, but it’s so worth it in the end.
Episode 7 - Making the Most of the Little Moments with Kristin Lefforge
By Jessica Garrison
Kristin Lefforge is someone who Melissa has wanted to have on the podcast for quite some time, and I can say that it was definitely worth the wait. Kristin describes herself as determined, giving, empathic, and curious, with a little bit of sarcasm sprinkled in. As a therapist, Kristin has a lot of tools to share when it comes to your journey in finding empowerment and embracing layers.
In this blog, I want to focus on the final talking point and how Kristin describes living out F.E.E.L. We talk a lot on the podcast about starting the journey and the importance of staying on the path, even when it becomes difficult. Some areas are easier to conquer than others, but odds are there will be at least one thing that will stop you in your tracks. However, I want people to remember the reason for all of their hard work and to see how rewarding it is when you keep fighting the good fight.
By living out F.E.E.L, Kristin is more grounded with herself and has more humility. She says even though there weren’t huge mountains for her to climb, she didn’t just walk right into the life she has now. She had to listen to all aspects of her body: physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental. Once she started to listen, she could act upon it and move towards what she truly wanted. Kristin is proud of the life she has created and wouldn’t change anything about it. For me, the reason for embarking on a journey like this is to have the life I fantasize for myself and to get there with no regrets.
By focusing on yourself, putting intention into your work and your life, you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to. Even when things get difficult or seem impossible, you have to remember the end goal you’re working towards. There is a happy and healthy light at the end of the tunnel, and I think Kristin captures this reminder perfectly. Her episode is full of dedication, hope, and inspiration to start your journey as soon as possible.
As for all our guests, Kristin’s resources will be listed on our website, and I highly recommend checking them out. Even a small step forward is a step in the right direction, a point I hope everyone remembers as they begin their journey. Being proud of the life you’ve created for yourself isn’t selfish or bragging, but rather a reminder to everyone that they can achieve that too. When we look back on our life, it will be the little moments that added up to the most important.
Ways to Engage: By starting your journey to living out F.E.E.L, what are some goals you want to see yourself achieve? Make sure these are goals you want to achieve, rather than something an outside voice is telling you to do. Write them down and come back to them every so often to see how your goals have changed. It’s rewarding to remind yourself what you’re working towards and to see how it all comes together over time.
Episode 6 - Standing Up & Finding Your Value with Dana Diaz
By Jessica Garrison
Trigger warnings for episode: Discussion of sensitive topics such as abuse, domestic violence, suicide
It’s always important to talk about heavy topics, but you also have to do it with a delicate dialogue, and Dana Diaz does this so incredibly well throughout the episode. She describes herself as normal, a helper, a learner, and has a desire to live in her truth.
There’s something in each talking point I could get into, but the one that stuck with me the most was “Accepting the Layered Aspects of Yourself.” With Dana’s history, it took a long time for her to be able to discover who she truly is, not the person others wanted her to be. It was a survival instinct to conform to what the people around her said, but lately she’s been able to discover herself. We shouldn’t live in the past hoping we can change it; we should be moving forward to a more authentic life.
It’s inevitable that we’ll make mistakes, but Dana emphasizes that growth is essential for moving forward and forgiving ourselves. What I loved most about this conversation is that she says it’s important to forgive ourselves, but we don’t necessarily have to forgive others. I constantly hear that we should forgive those who have done us wrong in order to feel at peace, but that’s never sounded right to me. Unfortunately, there are some things that people do that are unforgivable. Why should we have to forgive them in order to be happy? I agree we should forgive ourselves and not hold onto the anger of mistakes we’ve made, but we don’t have to forgive those we aren’t ready to forgive. Sometimes it’s harsh or doesn’t sound fair, but offering forgiveness you don’t mean can be even more damaging. I’m thankful that Dana brought this up in the conversation and proved that you can live your life authentically and happily without forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to do.
Dana is currently the author of two books that go into more detail of her past, Choking on Shame: The Scapegoat Child in a Narcissistic Family and Gasping for Air: The Stranglehold of Narcissistic Abuse, as well as her own website for more information on her story. I commend her for her vulnerability, honesty, and strength to become the person she is today. It isn’t easy to put your story out there for others to hear or judge, but by sharing her truth, she is able to change the lives of so many who need it.
Ways to Engage: Think of a moment in your life that you believe you should forgive yourself for. It can be difficult at first, so start small if that helps. Offering forgiveness to your past self can help you heal and move forward in a healthy way with the future. Meditate, write it down, or do whatever works best for you to conjure up the memories and emotions necessary.
Abuse/Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Suicide/Crisis Lifeline: 988
Episode 5 - Becoming an Expert in Kindfulness with Jen Schwytzer
By Jessica Garrison
Our guest this week is Jen Schwytzer, an authentic, kind, and passionate expert, who extends her generosity to her community. From coaching to educating to fostering children, Jen’s well rounded experiences open a whole new world to the F.E.E.L Podcast.
There’s a lot of “hats” that Jen wears, and these just contribute to her beautiful, complex layers. She says that she is still working on discovering them, but it is a lifelong journey for most of us; there’s always something new to learn about yourself. As we get older, we also find more layers that we may have never thought of before.
I love the conversation Jen and Melissa have about the nonlinear journey with layers. There will be some days you feel amazing about yourself, like you’re doing everything right and you’re exactly where you want to be. But then there will be days when you feel the opposite, but it’s important to remember that that’s okay. Not everyday will be perfect, but that’s part of the journey of uncovering your layers. We need these harder days to discover the layers that might not be so pleasant, but they are just as necessary to understand.
Adaptability and flexibility are characteristics we need to survive because, although we wish it would, things don’t always go according to plan. Even if something seems inconvenient at first or you don’t feel prepared to handle the situation, it could be brought to you for the better. I try to tell myself everything happens for a reason, even if it seems negative at first. It might not seem like it at the time, but there might be a better opportunity further down the road or I’m being prepared for something better. These events can help you uncover the spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical layers that will help you grow.
Jen has so much to offer throughout this episode, and I’m excited for everyone to hear it. Our conversations about layers are monumental and they really make a difference in the community. Jen’s journey is one that’s already incredible in nature, but she continues to grow and shine everyday.
Ways to Engage: What are some layers you’ve been happy to uncover? What are some you’ve been disappointed to uncover? What were the reasons behind these emotions? Looking back, how has it affected your journey by discovering these layers? What emotions do you have now about them? It’s important for us to reflect upon our layers and how they’ve made us who we are today.
Episode 4 - Self Care is Healthcare with Vashti Kanahele
By Jessica Garrison
Trigger warnings: Mention of Sexual Assault briefly (in regards to PTSD)
The best ways to describe Vashti Kanahele are fierce, loyal, brave, empathetic, and passionate. All of these traits are admirable ones that many people aspire to have. Vashti showcases her incredible character throughout the episode and brings a perspective to the podcast that we don’t usually get.
I could go on forever about Vashti’s episode and how many important layers she brings to the conversation, but something I really connected with was her stance on supporting women in living unapologetically. She is passionate about helping other women, and with her husband being a diplomat, she hears women’s stories across many different countries, languages, and cultures. Vashti mentions that when we ask someone how they are, they tend to say, “I’m fine,” even if that’s not really the case. Not everyone has the continuity of care or support, so women get used to brushing off the truth.
Vashti used the analogy of putting a bandaid over a wound but not getting down to the root cause of the problem. We can say we’re fine and heal ourselves for a short period of time, but that isn’t digging deep enough to understand why it happened in the first place. Without understanding the true cause of our emotions or physical ailments, then they will keep returning.
She supports women having all of their options presented to them, and Vashti wants to help women advocate for themselves. It’s always easier to advocate for someone else than ourselves, and when we’re in a struggling society, it’s also easy to let things go. However, you’re not doing yourself any favors by pushing off the real problems and trudging through the hardships. Sometimes it’s the only option for survival, but it won’t hold you up forever.
It’s always so exciting to hear these stories from women on the podcast because everyone brings a different perspective to how they see the world, and Vashti was no exception. By sharing her outlook and knowledge with us, as well as all the work she does for women, Vashti inspires us to keep an open mind. Her incredible resources will be listed on our website, and I encourage everyone to check them out and think about our ways to engage. This conversation is one we’ve had before but one we want to see continue.
Ways to Engage: Think of an example of when you continued saying you were fine even when you were falling apart inside—we all have those moments. Can you think of a time when a friend was doing the same thing, and you wanted to offer them help or support? In moments that you feel tired, rundown, or burnt out, remind yourself to treat yourself like a friend in a moment of need. Give yourself the same grace and patience, and reach out to someone you know you would do the same for. We are all here for each other, and there’s incredible spaces for women to support other women.
Episode 3 - Be a Rebel With a Cause with Loren Rosario Maldonado
By Jessica Garrison
There is one phrase to perfectly sum up our guest, Loren Rosario Maldonado, and that certainly is a rebel with a cause. Through the discussion of the talking points, Loren displays how compassionate, patient, and determined she is in her embracing layers journey.
Because of the passion Loren has for everything she does, I wanted to highlight what she says during “Coming Back to Your Why and Your Values.” Loren emphasizes the importance of connecting to your why. Of course your why should be valuable to you and is part of your core, but I love that she also identifies the eventual need to pivot. Loren’s values today are not the same ones she had 10 or 15 years ago, and that’s the same for many of us. It’s perfectly normal and healthy to adjust your values as time goes on.
Even though this happens to everyone, we don’t tend to talk about when it’s time to pivot your why. We talk a lot about what our why is currently, but we don’t tend to look at the past or future. It’s crucial to identify our current why of course, but no matter where you are in your journey, you are not alone.
Change can be incredibly scary, but it’s important to look for the signs of when it’s time to pivot. For example, when you’re 20 years old, your why could be getting a higher education. When you turn 25, it could be stepping into the professional world and establishing a career. When you turn 30, it could be getting married or starting a family. There isn’t a right or wrong value to have, but it’s okay to recognize when your life is shifting; naturally, certain things will take precedence over others. It doesn’t mean you forget or lose part of yourself; it’s a natural step in uncovering and embracing your layers.
I believe these conversations are significant in continuing to grow as people and we enter new stages in our lives. If this subject strikes you the way it did me, then you can listen to Loren’s podcast, The C.H.O.I.C.E Chats, which dives deeper into the dialogue of pivoting with a purpose. It’s a great resource to have and to seek out when you reach that point in your life. The conversation Loren and Melissa had can be life changing, and it reaffirms our values of sharing women’s stories to make a positive difference.
Ways to Engage: Think about what your why/value/cause was 5 or 10 years ago. Think about what it is now. Try making a physical list that you can compare, look back on, or use as a reference. This can help you determine if you’ve grown over the years, what goals you have yet to accomplish, and if you’re in the place you want to be. Your why is a very powerful tool, and it drives us to be who we are.
Episode 2 - Prioritizing Time for Me with Limor Bergman
By Jessica Garrison
This week we get to meet the authentic and transparent Limor Bergman, who dives right in to the importance of embracing layers and everything that goes along with that. Her conversation with Melissa about boundaries was quite captivating, and I think her perspective can help motivate those who may be struggling with that aspect of life.
Throughout her journey, Limor has come to realize how important boundaries are and how their absence caused a lot of stress in her life. She emphasizes the need for balance, whether it be with work, family, relationships, or her self-care time. Limor has seen a change in work culture over the years, especially after the pandemic caused a lot of people to begin working remotely. As so many have experienced, there’s more flexibility now, and our homes have become our workplace; we shouldn’t be afraid to ask for what we want and set up boundaries that are important to us.
Limor gave an example of boundaries in motherhood when she said someone isn’t a bad mom for buying premade meals. You can’t do everything. Women are expected to work full-time jobs, take care of the children, clean the house, and provide a meals for everyone in the household. And I think it’s crucial for women to hear that you aren’t a bad mom for ordering out once in a while or having a frozen pizza for dinner. Life is exhausting, and you can’t be expected to do everything while still taking care of yourself. Other people’s opinions are not as important as your boundaries, and I’m glad Limor took some time out of this segment to remind everyone that we’re all doing our best.
This episode is full of great moments from Limor, including living out of her own expectations when deciding to start a new business rather than remaining an employee. She has come a long way in her journey and continues to help those around her by volunteering in her community and acting as a guide for women in the workplace. I’m so glad we were able to hear from Limor this week, and if you’re still craving more, she has her own podcast entitled “From a Woman to a Leader.” It’s Limor’s attitude, experience, and courage that reminds us what embracing our layers is all about.
Ways to Engage: What are some misconceptions or stereotypes you hear from women or about women? What about wives or mothers? Look at these phrases and identify if they’re positive or negative, and where you’ve heard these sayings from. The things we say and the stereotypes we enforce can negatively impact ourselves as well as those around us, particularly children. Rather than putting women in a box of expectations, we can begin to recognize these stereotypes and live our lives authentically.
Episode 25 - FemTech & What Women Need to Know with Bethany Corbin
By Jessica Garrison
Believe it or not, we have reached the season 6 finale of the F.E.E.L Podcast! There’s no better way to end the season with the energetic, insightful, approachable, and passionate Bethany Corbin. She has so much knowledge to share about a topic I’ve never heard of, but it’s so fascinating nonetheless.
Bethany says she has only recently gotten into self-care after discovering benign tumors during a routine check-up, and now has to be more cautious than ever. Before her wakeup call, she was working at a law firm in D.C. making six figures, which sounds great on the outside. However, she was working constantly with no breaks and did a lot of stress eating. Now she is in the world of Female Health Technology (FemTech). It’s a lot simpler than it sounds, and Bethany does a spectacular job at explaining the meaning of FemTech and what it does for women.
No one will set your boundaries for you, and Bethany said something so important during this segment: use your vacation time! It’s there for a reason, and you should take advantage of it. She has a few nonnegotiables when it comes to work now that limits her from being at people’s beck and call constantly. Work is one of the most important places to set boundaries, yet it also seems to be the most difficult place. After listening to Bethany’s story, I think it’ll give a new perspective on workplace boundaries.
Bethany sailed through college and law school, ready to get into the workforce, but what was making her money was not fulfilling her passions. A therapist helped her see that burning herself out was only going to make her miserable rather than happy. Bethany says she kept asking the question, “What’s my body doing to me?” when it was actually what she was doing to her body. If you take nothing else away from this episode, I hope everyone takes that realization to heart.
Through her work in FemTech, Bethany supports women in living unapologetically every day. If something is interesting to you or excites you, then go for it! She took a leap of faith into FemLaw and was able to find something that suited her education and passions perfectly. It’s important to explore what you’re drawn to, and in doing this herself, Bethany found new skills and a new community. Even if things don’t work out, you can at least say that you tried. Bethany says she was lucky to have a support system during this shift, and she wants to be that for other women.
There were plenty of outside expectations for Bethany, even an expectation she set for herself that most likely wasn’t achievable. Along the way, she discovered her desire to educate people and get them the information they needed, which she could do through law. In 2018 she discovered the subject of FemTech, and no one was really talking about it. Bethany wanted to learn more and share this information with other women to help them live their happiest and healthiest lives.
Listening to Bethany speak was life-changing, and it’s apparent how passionate she is about helping others, sharing her knowledge, and creating a better world for women. We will have plenty of Bethany’s resources listed on our website, and you can also visit Bethany’s website for more information on her or FemTech. Thank you to all of our collaborators and supporters over this past season, and we look forward to sharing season 7 with you in September!
Ways to Engage: Bethany spoke about FemTech, which is a subject that not many women know about. Have you heard of FemTech before? If not, what did you think of it when you first heard of it and what do you think of it after listening to the episode? One of the best parts of the podcast is hearing so many different stories and learning something we would’ve never known before.
Episode 24 - Men Need Self-Care Too with Constantin Morun
By Jessica Garrison
Our guest this week is very different from most of our visitors on the F.E.E.L Podcast because we are joined by a lovely gentleman named Constantin Morun. He loves to inspire, guide, and empower others, and he is filled with love and passion. Anyone with traits like these are always welcome on the podcast, and it was a treat listening to Constantin to give us a new perspective.
For most men, self-care is not part of their lifestyle, and Constantin was no exception. His version of self-care showed up as food or buying material things. Realizing this wasn’t healthy or helpful, Constantin began including meditation in his self-care routine, as well as taking time off when needed and going to the spa. Men don’t typically go to the spa because it isn’t considered “manly,” but Constantin has seen the positive effects it has on rejuvenating his body and mental health. He says if he could go back and tell his younger self something, it would be to take care of himself more. If you’re reading this now and haven’t begun a journey with self-care, let this be a sign that it’s never too late to treat yourself the way you deserve.
Boundaries begin within ourselves before we begin to understand their impact and express them with others. One example of this showing up for Constantin was when he worked at Microsoft. It was the kind of job that needed him to be available 24/7, and he can see now how unhealthy that was for him. Working overtime isn’t a bad thing as long as you take breaks and don’t burn yourself out. However, work culture has shifted in recent years, and people are realizing there’s so much more to life than a job.
For Constantin, there are four pillars of health: emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual. He grew up in a world where men aren’t supposed to cry, and him not taking care of his emotional health was seeping into his physical health. Even his sleep was affected by not taking care of his emotional health, and it led him down a road of self-sabotage. Constantin says he’s still a work in progress, but he has a clear vision in his head that nothing stands in the way of his happiness.
In supporting others in living unapologetically, Constantin connects more with people who are vulnerable. Although you are responsible for your own actions, others can be influenced by seeing you live your life unapologetically. Some of his relationships have faded, but the ones that were meant to last have been growing stronger than ever.
Constantin has an early memory of asking himself, “Why am I here?” which is a monumental moment for a child. He recalls how he was depressed for years, acting on things that didn’t align with his why. Now he realizes that he can bring more empathy and compassion to the table, and this helps to strengthen his why and his purpose.
Expectations are a ripple effect. Setting them too high can cause self-doubt and hesitation, whereas no expectations means no disappointment but also nothing to work towards or accomplish. It’s important to remember to keep moving forward, even if negative thoughts make their way into your mind. You can overcome these fears or negative thoughts and allow yourself to live out of your expectations.
To accept the layered aspects of himself, Constantin acknowledges where he is and reminds himself that it’s okay not to be perfect. He used to be the type to beat himself up over the small stuff, but life is a journey full of learning and discovery. No one really knows what they’re doing (believe it or not); we’re just trying to live the best life we possibly can. Constantin also says living out F.E.E.L has been surreal. He’s made huge changes in recent years and with that came new connections and cycles for the better.
If you enjoyed listening to Constantin’s episode as much as I did, he has his own podcast you can check out called Unleash Thyself. His resources will be posted on our website, and let us know what you think of this dynamic and inspiring episode!
Ways to Engage: Constantin speaks about toxic masculinity throughout the episode, such as the spa not being considered “manly” and being told not to cry as a boy. Please feel free to share your personal experiences with toxic masculinity, what this means to you, and/or how you work to end it. Everyone should be allowed to openly express their emotions and enjoy whatever they like, despite their sex.
Episode 23 - Self Care in the Simple Things with Erin Copelan
By Jessica Garrison
Our guest this week is the effervescent, resilient, creative, heart-led, and courageous Erin Copelan. Erin has been a frequent guest on the Embracing Layers Radio Show, and we’re thrilled to share her message with our podcast audience as well. Her experience in caregiving flows into everyday life and serves as a reminder that we are not alone.
For Erin, self care is a loaded topic because there’s so many directions to go in. When Erin became her husband’s caretaker, the first thing to go was self care; adding something else to her agenda was overwhelming at first. Over time, she has learned the necessity of taking moments when she can, showing appreciation for what she’s accomplished, and celebrating those victories.
Boundaries are an area of life that have come up recently for Erin. She took up being a caregiver for her grandparents and had the community of her father and sister to help out. It was important for her to learn to accept and ask for help from others. It’s challenging to reach out and admit you can’t do something alone, but it reigns true for so many people. We would want our loved ones to ask for help when they’re getting stressed or tired, so we should offer them the same opportunity to help us.
Stifling the energy or emotions you have can show up as chronic pain later. Erin says to “feel your feelings and heal the feel.” Caregiving can actually be quite traumatic and it’s something you have to live with everyday, but Erin was not properly allowing herself to express her trauma or emotions. Everyone has their own window of tolerance for PTSD, but learning your limits is key as to not do any harm to yourself. Again, asking for help, even help to take a mental load off, can be life changing.
Supporting women is about releasing judgment and understanding that everyone is different. Erin’s phrase, “No matter what you choose, I got you,” is a simple yet powerful statement to make. It’s easier to make authentic decisions when you know someone is behind you the entire time. There is a supportive community out there, even if you haven’t found it yet.
Erin wants people to heal and thrive as caregivers, and her why is about embracing love. Her book, Welcome to Caregiving: The Things Caregivers Never Talk About, offers a genuine story of love, misconceptions, and hardships that can give new information and a new perspective to someone’s life as a caregiver.
Sometimes expectations can bring out the ugly side of people. During the episode, Erin shared a story about moving and how the stress of it was impacting her life. We never really know what’s happening in someone else’s life, so it’s important to leave our judgment at the door and keep unwanted advice or expectations to ourselves.
Accepting the layered aspects of yourself is a human experience that we should be relishing in. Embrace the joys, accept the support, and have space to feel any emotions that may come up. As Erin says, life is boring without layers! It’s exciting to explore different sides of yourself and learn to love every piece.
By living out F.E.E.L, Erin is able to offer more grace and forgiveness for herself as well as others. There’s more appreciation she has for herself, and she’s seen that not only does she have this same appreciation for others, but she sees others have it for her, too. Relationships are able to blossom and flourish when there’s more communication, honesty, and appreciation for all involved.
Erin has been such an incredible friend to the Embracing Layers Network over the last few months, and I’m happy we get to share her with you in our podcast! Check out the resources page for more information on Erin or check out her website! There’s still plenty to learn from this intelligent and wise woman.
Ways to Engage: Erin brings up an interesting point of caregivers experiencing PTSD, something I never thought of before but reigns true. Think of a time you’ve been a caregiver, been cared for, or witnessed someone caring for another person. Think of the emotions you felt, the emotions that person may have felt, or anything you picked up on from the experience. There are memories or trauma you may be carrying with you that need to be brought to the surface, or this could offer a new perspective to a situation you’ve been in.
Episode 22 - Unapologetically Herself with Melissa L. Hite
By Jessica Garrison
We’re so lucky to be joined this week by Melissa L. Hite, who describes herself as sensitive, curious, thoughtful, idealistic, and bold. Through her journey to embracing her layers and healing herself, she’s been able to share what she’s learned with the world.
In order to function, heal, and move forward, Melissa needed self-care. She manages her energy rather than her time, and she’s found that her values lie in different places. Sometimes she can get mean with herself when she’s feeling frustrated or annoyed, but with self-care, she’s found better outlets for these emotions. Massage therapy is one of these means that Melissa has, and even though it seems like “stereotypical” self-care, that doesn’t make it any less effective.
When it came to boundaries, Melissa said she needed to understand the core of them and what they look like. She was a sex worker and, not wanting to lose herself through this work, needed boundaries with clients to maintain her integrity. When Melissa didn’t stick to the boundaries she set for herself, she saw the consequences. By putting in the work and honoring the connection she has with herself, she’s been able to protect the parts of herself that she loves so much.
Although we try to separate the mind and body, Melissa knows there’s a strong connection between our physical health and mental health. She says, “Emotion is energy in motion.” We’ve said countless times on the podcast that there are no bad emotions, and Melissa’s understanding of this keeps her on the right path with her health.
Melissa likes to get into boundary work when she’s supporting women in living unapologetically, which I really appreciate because the two go hand in hand. Women especially are not taught to have or keep boundaries, and it can be difficult to try having them after not having them as a tool for so long. We are trained to be self-sacrificing rather than focusing on our own desires and authenticity, but Melissa is actively doing work to change this mentality.
Enlightenment and integrity are the two pillars of Melissa’s why. She’ll ask herself and her clients questions like, “What’s your motivation?” The why is a person’s North Star, and that’s why it is the first thing she covers in her coaching program. You have to be committed to growth and healing, but finding your why and motivation is the first step to help keep you motivated.
She got used to living out of other people’s expectations as a child and carried that with her for a huge part of her life. Melissa’s learned that you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t in situations like this, because nothing ever seems good enough. Despite there being a deep need to belong, something I’m sure we’ve all dealt with, you won’t truly be happy if you’re living your life for someone else.
It’s so beautiful to be multifaceted. When Melissa is faced with something she doesn’t like about herself, she thinks about nature. Nature is a magical process, and human beings are the same way. We go through different seasons and there are many layers to us, but it’s the layers that we uncovered on the journey that make the difference. It takes a flower some time to grow into the beautiful being it is, and not all of the process is pretty. We have to look at ourselves the same way and give ourselves grace, patience, and time.
Melissa is in her prime when she is loving and accepting herself. F.E.E.L feeds all the connections within her body, allowing her growth to shine through all the different parts of herself. When she loves herself, she’s able to extend her love back into the world and to those around her. Your attitude can affect the environment you’re in, and Melissa just wants to get the most out of each experience, which I strive to do, though I’m still learning.
We have more information about Melissa on our website and resources page, and Melissa has her own website you can visit. With her kindness, intelligence, and self-awareness, it’s people like Melissa who I believe will change the world; we all have something to learn from her.
Ways to Engage: Melissa asks herself and others “What’s your motivation?” when trying to discover the “why.” If thinking about or stating your why is a difficult part of your journey, ask yourself what your motivation is. Whether it be for something small daily or something big in the long run, think about what you are truly doing it for.
Episode 21 - Embracing Life Beyond Infertility with Charlie Dice
By Jessica Garrison
If the name of our guest this week sounds familiar, you’d be right! Charlie Dice has been a recurring guest on the Embracing Layers Radio Show, and I just love it when we get to hear from her. She describes herself as a generator of human design, welcoming, loyal, a learner, and an explorer.
Charlie describes infertility as giving up your body and your mind — you’re not in control anymore. Her priority is to enjoy life with her friends and family rather than living it at 80%, thinking about things that may or may not happen. It’s the day-to-day work that is so important, but the reward is just as great, if not better.
Charlie has to pay extra attention to her mental health because she has MDD (Major Depressive Disorder). When she was trying to conceive, the doctors told her to stop taking her antidepressant medication in hopes that it would help her. However, Charlie had a wonderful OBGYN who was taking care of her and encouraged her to go back on medication. She needed to take care of herself rather than hurting herself for a child that wasn’t there yet.
When talking about her boundaries, she said that some doctors called her to check in, which was very considerate, but they can be judgmental at times, too. So many people would give Charlie their advice without her even asking them. Things like, “Well, you can always adopt!” were told to her constantly, and these people were not respecting her boundaries. This also reminds Charlie about living out of her own expectations, and sometimes you have to take a step back and just do whatever feels right for you.
Charlie credits her husband to being a huge supporter in this journey. In turn, she wants to support other women the way she has been supported. Charlie tells an incredible story during her episode of how her husband reacted to her not being able to have children. He said, “I did not marry you based on your ability to have children.” I agree with him completely, and this is a reminder to everyone: your worth and womanhood are not based on your ability to have children.
For Charlie, her “why” is rooted in educating and advocating for other women who have been in the same position as her, as well as men. Although it isn’t talked about as often, men also have infertility issues, and Charlie wants to share her information with as many people as she can to spread awareness on the issue of infertility. In sex ed class, you’re taught how you have a baby and what your reproductive organs do, but you don’t really learn what happens if something goes wrong. Bringing more education to this subject will not only help people figure out faster that something is wrong, but it also won’t normalize having children, which, as we’ve seen, can cause many other mental health problems.
Fortunately, both Charlie and her husband’s families were supportive of their decision to not have children and to stop trying. However, the outside world was not as supportive. Charlie brings up the stigma in the workplace about men and women with children. They’re typically the ones who are granted more time off because of parent-teacher conferences, doctor’s appointments, or when their child is sick at school. I remember watching a CSI: Miami episode where someone pretends to have a child because they know they’ll be granted more vacation time. I see it at my own workplace as well: “Why does she need to leave? She doesn’t have kids to pick up.” Everyone is deserving of time off, whether they have children or not. A person’s value and importance of their life does not decrease because they don’t have children, whether it is voluntary or not.
Charlie is appreciating the layers that she has that are not about her reproductive system. Whatever decision you make in life, as long as it’s what you truly want, it’s the right decision in the end. Charlie loves her life and who she is, and to me, that is the most successful a person can be. She’s able to share her journey, help other women who are struggling with infertility, and she feels empowered by her choice because it was her decision.
If you want to hear more from Charlie, she’s often featured on the Embracing Layers Radio Show from 360 Talk Radio for Women, which airs Mondays from 6 AM (PST) to 12 PM (PST). Melissa was also a guest on Charlie’s Life Beyond Infertility podcast, so there’s plenty of content between these two trailblazing women.
Ways to Engage: We want to invite everyone to share their stories of infertility, difficulty getting pregnant, or any thoughts you may have on the subject in a safe community space. The more we talk about it, the more awareness and education we can share with the world. It’s okay if you aren’t able to share your story right—there is still an endless amount of support in your corner.
Episode 20 - Holistic Healthy Movement with Cari Vann
By Jessica Garrison
A few words to describe our next guest are compassionate, uplifting, grateful, and loyal with a strong sense of faith. Cari Vann is another wonderful guest who Melissa met through PodMatch (PodMatch, where would we be without you?) and I’m so glad the two of them met for this important conversation.
Cari has the utmost respect for people, but she knows this should be extended to herself as well. Self-care is a lifestyle, conscious choice, and a recognition of the love you have for yourself. For Cari, something as small as enjoying the quiet time to herself in the morning is a form of self-care; it doesn’t have to be anything that takes up a lot of time or energy.
When talking about boundaries, Cari revealed that they are her number one form of self-care. She thinks about them when it comes to all different aspects of life, such as her time, business, or family. Clearly communicating is one of Cari’s biggest assets, and I agree that you can’t have healthy boundaries or relationships without communication.
As we know from listening to dozens of women talk about their experiences, the mind and body are not separate. Cari Vann is so dedicated to this topic, using her expertise of over 25 years in the health and wellness field to help other women get on the right path. Just like self-care, you don’t have to do strenuous exercise to feel well in your body. Even something as small as stretching can help Cari slow down and listen for discomfort in her body. There isn’t a quick fix to feeling comfortable in your own body and mind, but Cari shares great advice, such as starting with a simple breathing technique to set you up for long-term success.
Cari is so passionate about what she does, and she supports other women in living unapologetically by sharing her knowledge and support. She’s created an inclusive community where there aren’t toxic comparisons or judgments. It’s just about helping women live the best life they possibly can.
As I mentioned with Cari’s character traits, faith is very important to her. God is wrapped around her values and is pivotal in keeping her on the right path. This allows her to always come back to her Truth, and that has been crucial in this beautiful journey she’s been on.
When thinking of her own expectations versus someone else’s, Cari asks herself how she wants to spend her time. Her children are a huge priority for her, though it’s not always easy to ignore what the outside voices are telling you to do. She says it’s important to allow yourself grace as you navigate and shift your expectations as life goes on. Cari emphasizes that keeping your expectations realistic and reachable is one of the best ways to create a solid foundation for expectations.
Embracing your layers can be the most difficult part of the journey because you have to look at things that are uncomfortable. There’s a lot of work that goes into this, but it’s worth it in the end to live as your authentic self. This in turn affects cultivating healthy relationships through F.E.E.L—it’s about your relationship with others as well as the relationship you have with yourself. It is not just about the relationships you have with others, but also the relationship you have with yourself. There’s a greater level of compassion for others when we’re self-aware, and it enhances our emotional intelligence.
Cari has such a strong sense of self, and I really admire all of the incredible things she does for women. There’s something for everyone to take away from her episode, no matter what differences there may be in your lives. Cari’s resources will be posted on our website with helpful links and information. She also has her own website available for anyone looking for extra help in taking care of their emotional and physical health.
Ways to Engage: Think of some small ways you can get your body moving throughout the day, such as breathing exercises in the morning or taking extra time at night for stretching. Record how you feel before and after these exercises and try them for an extended period of time. Take notice of any differences you may feel and how this is affecting the relationship you have with your mind and body.
Episode 19 - Building in Breaks with Lexy Leigh
By Jessica Garrison
This week’s episode is a really special one for us at the Embracing Layers Network because it is our 100th episode! We have the perfect guest to celebrate our milestone: Lexy Leigh. If you listen to our radio show, Lexy has been a guest before so she might sound a little familiar. Lexy describes herself as empathetic, genuine, kind, and intuitive, all of which have a hand in the incredible journey she’s been on.
A huge part of Lexy’s self-care routine is building in breaks. Rather than working herself through lunch and being burned out by the end of the day, she allows herself that time to reset. I can attest that building in breaks can help your productivity, and you’re not so resentful towards your work. Journaling is another self-care technique that is close to Lexy’s heart. She’s the creator of her own journal, which allows others to detail their journey in a physical format.
Boundaries came up unknowingly for Lexy. There was a shift for her when she realized she needed more peace and quiet in her life. When she became a stepmom, she realized what was important to her and how she needed to prioritize her family. Learning to live with other people can be difficult, but by communicating her boundaries, Lexy can take care of everyone in her family (including herself).
It’s refreshing to see that mental health is being talked about more openly, and Lexy is a huge advocate for this kind of support. Too many people have suffered in silence, and we want to end that cycle. In her past, she had ways to keep herself happy, but they weren’t the healthiest outlets. Now, she has her journal to write down all her thoughts and feelings; she can also look back on her old ones to compare to where she is now and see her progress.
For women around the world, especially minorities, it’s tough to get your foot in the door at a professional level. It feels almost instinctual to blame the person who got the position over you, but if the boss is only promoting one woman out of the group, then the issue is with a bigger system that doesn’t allow for more representation in the business. Because of Lexy’s experience in this world, she encourages support to any woman who is accomplishing her goals in any area of her life. I think she was the perfect guest for our 100th episode because she is such an incredible role model and supports women in living unapologetically every day.
While discussing her why and values, Lexy said, “We teach people how to treat us,” which is such an important point to make. Realizing what you stand for is a pivotal moment in your values journey, as well as realizing what you will accept and what you want your personal brand to be. Lexy speaks to this throughout the episode and shows just how crucial it is.
Lexy is still on a journey to living out of her own expectations versus others’ because of the difficulty of finding a balance, especially with work. However, she shared her experiences of seeing people taking more and more from her when she was willing to give just a little. Whatever decision is right for her is the one she’ll choose, then whoever is unhappy can take it or leave it.
Each layer makes us who we are, whether we consider them good or bad. However, we try not to see the layers as labeled because each one makes us who we are, whether we like them or not. Lexy describes the difficulty of putting in the work when someone else in her life hasn’t. We all have a journey we have to go on, but at the end of the day it’s our own life and we have to make the changes if we want to see change.
In her F.E.E.L journey, Lexy looks forward to more growth and is excited for what’s to come. She’s also thrilled for others in her life to see how they will grow and evolve as the years come. There is so much to learn in life—it’s a never-ending classroom.
We want to thank Lexy for being such a fantastic guest for us to feature on our 100th episode and thank you to all of our supporters who have tuned in over the past 6 seasons. We look forward to strengthening our community and sharing the many ways it means for us to embrace our layers.
Ways to Engage: Lexy is a huge fan of journaling and uses it as a tool to record her thoughts, emotions, or whatever is on her mind. Try journaling for a few days or even a week and see if this is an effective route for your journey. Write about what you’re feeling, what tasks you have to complete for the day, or whatever comes up when you start writing. If you enjoy it or find it useful, continue journaling so you have something to look back on over time.
Episode 18 - Unapologetically Full of Herself with Sarah Moore
By Jessica Garrison
Normally when we hear someone say they’re full of themself, we’re immediately turned off. However, by the end of this episode, I think everyone will have a different idea of what it means to be full of yourself. Sarah Moore is an intuitive, fun, and intimate woman who has so much knowledge to share with us this week.
Sarah didn’t know what self-care even looked like for the longest time, and this ended up affecting her relationships with others. She didn’t feel right in her body, which caused her to pick fights with those she was closest to. As she learned what it meant to truly take care of herself, her son was also there to help her heal and develop patience. No matter what activity shows up as self-care, Sarah knows it’s all about what makes her feel good.
For Sarah, the root of boundaries is worthiness, and I have to agree with her on that; boundaries come from a place of self-worth. For example, if your job wants you to do extra work for less money, do you hold your worth as an employee and turn it down unless you’re going to get paid what you deserve? However, you have to pick and choose your battles sometimes, and Sarah understands that boundaries can exist in the gray and need to have context. There’s so many layers to this conversation, but I think Sarah does an incredible job of speaking her truth when it comes to boundaries.
Although talk therapy can be quite helpful, Sarah also believes in moving the body and exerting some of her emotions that way. Your body is your permanent home, so it’s important that you engage it with exercise and activity as well as engaging your mental muscles. All of it comes together to keep your body a safe and healthy place as Sarah has astutely discussed during this segment.
Like I mentioned earlier, bragging has a negative connotation, but Sarah is trying to change that. She’s full of herself because she loves herself, and there’s nothing wrong with being proud of your accomplishments. Just as she wants to share her accomplishments, Sarah also wants to hear from other women who have done incredible things. Along with sharing the positives, it’s important to share the negatives as well. We can learn from each other’s mistakes in addition to learning from our own. Being honest and vulnerable is scary at first, but it’s also liberating to share your story.
The “why” can be tricky for Sarah, especially as a business owner. There’s a lot of overthinking when it comes to that area of her life, but Sarah knows she wants her life to be about maximum service. She can still say no to things with this mindset clear in her head. She still doesn’t know what she doesn’t know, and saying no to one opportunity could lead to a yes for another.
Sarah has always had high standards for herself, which I’m sure a lot of us can relate to. She also had high standards for others, but she says this was born out of judgment. After experiencing her own struggles, such as bullying and alcoholism, she’s quicker to grace and compassion rather than judgment. She has the tools to live out of her own expectations rather than others, even on the days when it seems impossible.
There’s still so much for Sarah to learn about herself, and she’s come to realize that “layers are gorgeous.” She wants people to remember the power of AND. I can be brave AND scared at the same time; two different emotions can exist at the same time just as our layers exist within each other. If we remember that, then we’re able to show ourselves more empathy as well as experience a sense of power.
This has been one of my favorite episodes of the season so far (maybe because I couldn’t stop agreeing with everything Sarah was saying). She made such eye-opening remarks, particularly about boundaries, that I think will be helpful to so many women. Let us know if you agree and check out Sarah’s resources for more information that can help you begin your journey!
Ways to Engage: What do you think of Sarah’s efforts to change the negative meaning of bragging? Think about this question again after listening to her episode as well as any positives or negatives that may come with this. Sharing your accomplishments (and defeats) may just be the change you’re looking for when it comes to self-esteem and self-worth.
Episode 17 - FEELing It and Healing It with Jennifer Moore
By Jessica Garrison
Trigger warning: eating disorder
Our guest this week is the empathic, wise, curious, fierce, and generous Jennifer Moore. Despite any past frustrations, Jennifer has grown to understand herself better and shares her story of embracing her layers as a highly sensitive empath.
Growing up, Jennifer was always told she was too sensitive or her imagination was overactive. These words affected the way she took care of herself, turning to self-destructive behaviors such as using drugs, alcohol, binge eating sugar, and dating harmful people. These actions controlled her for some time before she said that enough was enough, and her journey was able to truly begin.
Boundaries always sounded like a word that was rigid or firm, and Jennifer didn’t know what healthy boundaries even looked like. She wasn’t comfortable saying no (as many of us often aren’t), but Jennifer brought up a great point while discussing how she’s found healthy boundaries. We cannot control how people act, but we can control how we react to them. If someone is disrespectful towards Jennifer’s boundaries, she’ll ask herself, “What will I tolerate?” If they don’t want to respect her boundaries, she can’t make them, but she can walk away from someone who doesn’t take her seriously.
A huge step in Jennifer’s journey was the realization that she’s an empath. Rather than carrying every single emotion, she’s able to sort through which emotions are hers and which belong to other people that she’s been carrying as her own. She’s learned to breathe deeply and send the emotion to where it belongs, and that has helped tremendously in her own journey. Listening to her speak about carrying other people’s worries is so important because so many of us do this, even if we don’t realize it.
While talking about supporting women unapologetically, Jennifer shared the idea that it’s not us versus them; we’re all in this together. As she lives authentically and shares her truth with the world, others see Jennifer in action and are willing to follow her example. She’s such an inspiration when she speaks, it’s hard to not follow her lead.
Jennifer’s need to help people is also wrapped up in her why and values. She knows what it feels like to struggle, and she wants others to experience the relief she has. Jennifer has written a book entitled Empathic Mastery and even has a new one coming out soon that helps to explain why people are so sensitive. She’s able to share her message with the world through her work, and there’s no need to wait before living life as your authentic self.
Jennifer’s been able to accept her layers by reminding herself, “It’s not me. It’s not about me” in relation to ancestral trauma. Our last guest, Antonia, also spoke about ancestral trauma, so if this is a topic that interests you, I highly suggest listening back to Antonia’s episode. Jennifer’s come to recognize that some of the pain or emotions she was living with weren’t necessarily from something she’s experienced, but rather from something that’s been passed on to her. It’s the layers upon layers that contribute to who we are, and Jennifer has been able to enjoy life and take it in as she learns to embrace everything that makes her unique.
Jennifer is bringing a new meaning to the word empathetic, something that we should all strive to be. She reminds us through her words and her work that emotions give us strength rather than weakness.
Ways to Engage: Have you ever been told you’re too sensitive? I certainly have, and I think most women can agree. Think about when you were told you were too sensitive and how that affected you. Who said it to you and what was the situation? Offer yourself grace and kindness as you comb through harsh words that affected you and think about how you can reclaim them as your own. Share with us your thoughts on being empathetic in a world that tells women they’re too nice or too sensitive.
Episode 16 - Shedding the Layers of Discomfort with Antonia
By Jessica Garrison
Melissa is joined by the remarkable Antonia this week, a woman with integrity, unity, compassion, anger, and shyness. Her character traits shine through her complex, beautiful layers, and she’s a joy to listen to on the podcast.
Self-care became a survival and evolutionary tool for Antonia. She’s found that self-care can contribute to your whole self, as long as the activity is nourishing to you. By taking some time out of your day for self-care, you continue to provide care to other aspects of your health.
Realizing that your emotional health is connected to your physical health is half the battle, but Antonia has been making strides in these areas of her life. Something as simple as putting nutritious food in her body so she’s able to keep up with her mental health. This, in turn with providing proper self-care, allows her to keep up with the crazy world we live in.
Antonia looks at her journey from a historical perspective, which was so interesting to listen to. I have heard stories from other women who agree with this perspective, but Antonia did a wonderful job of explaining everything in detail. One example she used was the fear of abandonment, which can flow through generations of people. We carry a lot of weight from past generations without even realizing it, and it can affect the way we live our lives currently. Antonia will ask herself questions such as, “What reality do I want to create?” This allows her to have more control over her own life rather than feeling helpless to what her ancestors have experienced before her.
However, it takes a lot of work to reach where you want to go: “In order to connect, you’ve gotta see all your stuff.” Antonia relates this back to her why and her values because you’ve got to dig deep to understand why you are the way you are. It isn’t always a negative thing, but it can be daunting to look back at something you haven’t thought of in a long time. Antonia has been able to accept her experiences and choose love, freedom, and compassion.
On her journey, there have been many years of shedding shame, but Antonia has had the pleasure of healing herself as well. She wants to share everything she’s learned with other women and assist them in healing themselves, too. It isn’t an easy journey to self-healing, but the payoff is totally worth it.
When it comes to accepting her layers, Antonia expresses the importance of doing your own work first rather than doing the work of others. Whether it’s because they don’t know how or aren’t willing to try, it’s a lot easier to embrace your own layers before trying to make someone else embrace theirs. There’s still a community full of support and love, but we have to do some of the work ourselves on this journey.
Antonia is still exploring how her relationships are affected by finding empowerment and embracing her layers, but that’s something that can be so fun. She’s still exploring herself, and new layers have shown up within her boundaries. Not all relationships will survive a person finally setting and sticking to their boundaries, but sometimes that’s okay. If they don’t respect you enough to listen to your boundaries, then those are the best people to let go of in your life. Antonia knows though that new relationships will continue to blossom, and those will be even stronger because they developed with your authentic self.
Let us know what you’ve learned from Antonia's episode, and I encourage everyone to take notes while listening! I have quite a few pages filled up in my notebook at home, and she gave us some great gems to remember from this episode.
Ways to Engage: Antonia talks thoroughly in her episode about generational trauma and how this can affect our current journey. Have you looked at your journey from this perspective? Why or why not? After listening to Antonia’s episode, consider using this viewpoint to journal or reflect upon how you are affected today by something from your ancestors.