Episode 4 - Becoming My Own Soulmate with Danielle Parks
By Jessica Garrison
Our guest this week shares an incredible story of heartbreak and betrayal but comes out the other side with a new sense of self that is guaranteed to inspire those who listen. Danielle Parks gives a new perspective to what it means to be a wife, a woman, and a human being. She speaks candidly about her journey through self care, setting boundaries, and what it means to find comfort in yourself.
In her self care process, running was a major outlet for Danielle. After realizing this wasn’t the best way to express herself, she went to the other end of the spectrum and rested her body, which caused a domino effect in her life. Instead of running and taking her mind off of things, rest caused her to sit with her feelings, even the ones that are uncomfortable. Instead of constantly keeping her mind off things, this became a time for growth, evolving, and acceptance, which is arguably the first step in learning to love your authentic self. Our feelings and emotions are there for a reason, so it’s important to listen to them and what they’re telling us. Danielle says to “give yourself permission to not know where you’re going on the journey.”
Danielle practices setting her intentions for the day and gives herself time to align that so she can relish in the feeling of it all. She also journals so she has a safe place to create and thinks everyone should have a place like this, which I completely agree with. Even if you don’t think you have a creative personality, it’s important to express yourself on some type of level rather than bottling it up. It might take a while to find the right medium, but once you do, it’ll be all worth it in the end.
When it comes to supporting other women in living unapologetically, Danielle allows the space to be there for herself and for other women; you do not need to take care of everyone and everything. This is a lesson that she had to learn the hard way. She shares a time when she didn’t listen to her body, despite it screaming at her that something was wrong: she doubted the trust she had in her husband. When she questioned him about her feelings, she still wasn’t sure if she could trust his answer. She shared a Bible verse with him that says, “Whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered behind closed doors will be proclaimed from the housetops.” Unfortunately, she was correct in her doubts. Her husband was eventually sentenced for embezzlement, but Danielle was determined to make the relationship work. She would wake up at 5am just to visit him hours away, describing her experience as being in “survival mode,” feeling the need to be a certain person for this man.
It’s only just recently that she has begun to feel free from the situation. She realized she had to let her husband go and the old Danielle die for a newer and happier one to be born. Her advice is to take a moment to feel all of the emotions: the guilt, the sorrow, the pain. Accept love and support from others, too. She used to be a shell of herself, but now she is grateful for everything she’s been through because it got her to the place where she is today. Melissa shares an interesting insight that we are okay with disappointing ourselves before disappointing others, and that mindset needs to change. The journey is rooted in forgiveness. Forgiveness for others and also for yourself.
Living out of your own expectations instead of others can be a difficult boundary to set as well, but life shows up as it wants. Danielle says she had to grieve the life she once had and accept the truth of her new reality in order to move on. The truth is her North Star, which is a term she uses to express guidance. She asks, “what do you want to feel like? What do you want to experience, not just in the day, but in life?” Those are some important questions to ask yourself so you can keep reaching your goals.
The more layers we peel off, the more beauty we find underneath. Danielle says to find the resources within yourself and know your own worth. She lives more in the present now, and she can be who she truly wants to be. Danielle shows up truthfully for others and allows them to do the same, which is a priority for her right now. I admire her vulnerability with us and how she shared her story so others could learn. There’s no judgment in her voice, no apologies, and no more regrets. We should all strive to live a life like Danielle with her motivation and power.