Episode 13 - F.E.E.L in Action with Michelle Shekhinah

By Jessica Garrison

Trigger warning: abuse, sexual abuse

Melissa is joined by Michelle Shekhinah this week, a woman who is courageous, resilient, caring, empathetic, and full of love. After reading the blog and listening to her episode, you’ll agree that these character traits fit Michelle perfectly. However, some of the conversations can be triggering, so we want to make sure everyone is safe before diving into this sensitive yet incredible conversation.

Michelle reminds us how important self-care is in this episode, and it challenges us to understand our emotions. Depending on what season you’re in, it could affect your self-care routine, and Michelle has come to realize the significance of educating yourself on what you need in relation to what you’re feeling. There were many factors that caused Michelle to start focusing on her self-care, but it’s never too late to start the journey towards taking better care of yourself.

Michelle comes from a boisterous family and, being the youngest, boundaries didn’t really exist. As she got older, it seemed impossible to set boundaries for a multitude of reasons. Not only did she not have the experience, but she began experiencing abuse from her husband after 18 years of trust. Michelle’s story has so many beautiful yet complex layers to it, and I appreciate her courage in sharing her story with us.

Over the recent years, Michelle has found ways to express herself physically and mentally, helping to heal her inner turmoil. After COVID quarantines, her nervous system was greatly affected, which I’m sure many of us can relate to. Along with certain breathing tactics, Michelle’s physical and mental health has improved considerably.

In supporting women in living unapologetically, Michelle has a lot of experience to educate and help women. Michelle’s story includes some heavy experiences, such as being secretly drugged, taken advantage of, and manipulated by those closest to her. It took resilience to get herself out of the situation that no one deserves to find themselves in to begin with. Michelle says that if it doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t right, and she encourages everyone to trust their instincts. If this conversation isn’t too triggering for you, it’s quite impactful to hear from Michelle herself.

Michelle’s “why” is engulfed in her many layers, such as always choosing love, putting her children first, and valuing her spiritual self. Although it’s important to Michelle that she is a kind and understanding woman, her trust had been betrayed too many times for her to not be cautious, and setting boundaries to ensure this can be quite difficult; it’s a reminder that the journey always continues.

People’s expectations of Michelle don’t always match hers, especially after coming out of a traumatic situation. People tend to tell others to “get over it” or expect everything to go away after a magic number of days, but as Michelle says, “If I could let it go, I would.” She uses a great analogy of rungs of a ladder or floors on a building to describe how she heals, and it’s a powerful way to look at your own progress.

Our layers can get quite complicated, and every choice we make affects us in some way. Michelle has learned to live not only for her present self, but for her past self as well. The people she allows into her life show her that they want to be there and continue to support her. Although many people may want revenge in this type of situation, Michelle is at peace, not wanting to hurt anyone. Those who harmed her have to sleep at night knowing what they did to her, and I think that really speaks to Michelle’s character.

I appreciate Michelle’s openness in telling her story and spreading awareness to other women who may be in a similar situation. Michelle’s resources will be listed on our website, and we encourage anyone who feels like they’re not safe to reach out for help. You’re not alone in your journey.

Ways to Engage: Michelle emphasizes the importance of educating yourself on your emotions to provide the self-care you need. Rather than trying to reuse the same self-care routine every day, try new things depending on your emotions that day. Write down what you’re feeling and how you want your body to respond to self-care. It could make all the difference in the world.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

National Human Trafficking Hotline: 888-373-7888