Episode 1 - Learning to Live Unapologetically with Paula Chirinos
By Jessica Garrison
Welcome back to another season of the F.E.E.L Podcast! We are officially kicking off the fourth season, and there is so much exciting content coming your way. Our first episode features Paula Chirinos, a young, intelligent, queer, Latina woman. She describes her journey in such a fierce and lively way; she is the perfect guest for our first episode this season.
Like most guests we see on the podcast, Paula says she was not the best at self care for a while. Being a first generation immigrant, she kept herself busy trying to make her parents proud. She wanted them to know all of the sacrifices they made for her to have a better life were not in vain, but by never giving herself a break, she quickly burned herself out and had a physical breakdown. Recently, she’s learned to express herself through her body and goes to the gym after work to blow off steam and realized “it’s the little things” that keep her going. She also looks to her plushies for comfort, which I resonate with deeply on a spiritual level. No, they are not just for children!
Paula expressed the connection she sees between self care and establishing healthy boundaries. She puts it into a great perspective by comparing professional and personal relationships with an “unofficial contract.” There are expectations set for one another to meet that are previously agreed upon, and they will be able to fit both parties’ needs. There’s a support system there, and the expectations are communicated not only beforehand, but also when needed. This is a great new way to look at boundaries and see that they’re not a negative trait to have in relationships, just like how a contract isn’t necessarily a negative thing to have in a professional environment.
Paula graduated from college in the Spring of 2020, which was arguably the worst possible time to graduate and try to make your way into the world. Towards the end of 2021, she began seeking therapeutic help and discovered she had ADHD. Once she was diagnosed, she was able to learn her triggers and develop coping mechanisms. A big one was not giving other people so much power when it came to negative feedback. Paula had to deal with oppression from all angles before: being a woman, being queer, being part of an immigrant family, and being a Latina. She’s developed this coping mechanism into a tool for everyday life, which has helped her pursue a healthier balance.
When discussing how she looks to support other women in living unapologetically, Paula shared a TikTok trend that has been going around recently that involves being kinder to your younger self. She speaks so vulnerably about this, which I just love; it might be my favorite part of the episode. We all need to allow our inner child to heal by showing them the kindness they should’ve been shown all along. By healing ourselves, we can show others what possibilities lie in the nearby future. Paula says that age doesn’t matter when it comes to mentoring. Like we say on the podcast, you can learn something new from anyone, no matter how different they may seem (and this includes age as well).
Living out of your own expectations instead of others’ is a big topic for Paula, especially because of the sacrifices her parents made to give her the best possible life. I mentioned earlier that she felt like couldn’t disappoint them, and this made her into a very competitive person. It was all about showing them how amazing she could be in what they wanted, rather than what she wanted. When she was just 11 years old, she was diagnosed with depression. Combined with discovering she’s queer, it was a huge release for Paula to be able to live her truth. Now that she has all the pieces, Paula continues to work towards putting them together to create a life of her own expectations.
Paula has quite the beautiful complex identity—she’s had no choice but to embrace her layers to live a life to the fullest of happiness. By accepting all aspects of herself, she’s been able to put words to her feelings and express herself the way she most desires. She has put in so much work over the years to be comfortable in her own skin, and she stands by the statement that self love is a journey: “There are days where you will have setbacks.” However, you have to accept the good and the bad to truly find peace. She finds that her life has improved by cutting off people who were holding her back and surrounding herself with those who uplift her.
Paula has such an inspiring story to tell, and we’re so thankful she opened up during this episode. She made a statement pretty early on in the episode that everyone will, or at least should, agree with by the end: Paula Chirinos is one bad bitch.