Episode 10 - Financial Empowerment with Patti Handy
By Jessica Garrison
Patti Handy has had a remarkable journey when it comes to supporting women and advocating for them in the financial world. She started as a financial advisor and mortgage advisor but has since become a financial coach for women. She uses her knowledge to help women learn more about money, how to be smart with their finances, and give them back their financial freedom.
Patti describes self-care as traditionally being difficult. Women are pulled in so many different directions, and she wants everyone to know that financial health is a layer of self-care and self-healing. When Patti was going through a divorce, she realized that she needed to start taking better care of herself so she could take care of her son better, too. Her son is her first priority, so by prioritizing her own self-care, she’s able to accomplish this goal. Patti also values exercise as part of her self-care routine. It comes in various ways with people, and she encourages the women that she works with to find their own self-care routine to help create a happier balance.
It’s difficult to set boundaries without feeling the guilt that comes with it, but Patti has come to terms with the necessity of boundaries. Although her son comes first, she still needed to carve time out for herself, and it took a while to do this without feeling selfish. Just like self-care, it’s hard to completely change your lifestyle around. However, Patti realized how important it is for children to see adults taking care of themselves, especially their parents. They model themselves after important figures in their life, and Patti wanted to raise children who would learn to take care of themselves, both independently in the world as well as taking care of their minds.
When asked about taking care of her emotional health as much as her physical health, Patti recalled a time shortly after her divorce when she was distraught. She was sobbing, feeling like she was completely lost on where she should go now. She was also financially distressed, despite knowing how to handle her money properly. She started thinking that there are women who are going through what she is, and they may have no idea where to start when it comes to their finances. Offering a judgment-free zone where women could come to her to discuss their worries with finances, Patti is able to assist women in taking care of their emotional health as well. She’s on a journey to learn and gain knowledge, and she wants to offer that to the women around her. Patti says, “We fear what we don’t know,” and that is especially true when it comes to money. By giving women the opportunity to expand their knowledge and gain back their financial freedom, it heals her in turn.
Patti had so many wonderful things to say when talking about supporting women unapologetically, but one of my favorite quotes from her is, “It’s important that we surround ourselves with individuals who support us emotionally and mentally.” If we surround ourselves with people who are constantly bringing us down, then it’s going to negatively impact our lives and how we perceive ourselves. However, I can speak from experience that by surrounding yourself with those who are kind, uplifting, and offer encouragement, you will see the difference in your life. Patti also suggests that women need to give themselves more grace and to not beat themselves up. She recalled that there were plenty of times that she made a poor decision even though she knew better, but she had to learn to let it go. Dwelling on your mistakes won’t change anything; all you can do is move on and make better decisions moving forward. Her goal is for women to be kinder to themselves and to forgive themselves more easily, which is a goal for us at F.E.E.L., too.
Patti’s “why” has always been her son. She wants to be a better person for him, and even though it was a jump to leave her comfortable job, she knew she had a bigger purpose. By taking the leap to help other women, she’s showing her son that it’s okay to follow your dreams and that some risks are worth taking. The feeling of regret was stronger than the feeling of failure, and Patti knew she couldn’t stay in her line of work any further; she had a new purpose in life and had to listen to her calling.
Patti sees her layers as seasons, and she says that there have been seasons of challenges and seasons of amazing moments; she’s been able to have new opportunities for growth and learning. She’s come to realize that life is so precious, and she says that she, “take[s] care of what [she] can today.” There’s no need to focus her energy on the past or things she can’t control, but rather it’s important to put effort towards what she has control over.
By living out F.E.E.L., Patti has become more compassionate and is always looking for ways she can serve the community around her. We all have our own journeys to take, and hers has been a journey towards becoming a financial advocate for women. Sometimes it’s difficult to understand in the moment why something is happening or what brought you there, but you will come out of the darkness into the light one day. Patti is happy to help women along on this journey and to teach them something new so they’re able to live a more prosperous life. I think she perfectly wrapped up with a quote that we often reiterate at F.E.E.L., which is, “We are all complex, beautiful humans.”
Ways to Engage: Money is a topic we’re often told not to talk about. How does the topic of finances make you feel? Nervous? Anxious? Angry? Feel free to share your thoughts on this topic we’re most often told to keep to ourselves, especially as women. There’s support out there for whatever emotion may make you feel, and let this be a reminder that there’s nothing to be ashamed of.