Episode 9 - Empowered by Joy and Intention with Tracy Weems
By Jessica Garrison
Tracy Weems is a longtime friend of the Crooks, who have had the privilege to see her flourish over recent years of her life. However, Tracy has been on a personal journey to discover self-care, boundaries, and how F.E.E.L impacts her life, and she’s here to share her incredible story with us.
Tracy said that she is still learning the ups and downs of self-care, as she has been a caregiver for most of her life. She was a caregiver for her late husband, her children, and is currently a caregiver for her grandmother. Putting her needs first isn’t what Tracy’s used to, but she’s finding that by taking care of herself first, she’s better able to take care of those around her. Rather than acting with resentment or anger, self-care puts Tracy in a better place mentally to be able to show up for those around her.
We see Tracy’s self-care overlap with boundaries since she’s discovered how liberating it is to say “No.” No, period. There doesn’t need to be a long explanation or an excuse as to why she doesn’t want to do something. Part of her self-care has been saying “no” to things she doesn’t want to do, and this has helped her boundaries grow as well.
Tracy didn’t always have the support she needed to be able to confidently set boundaries. Now that she’s grown and has learned so many lessons over the years, she now allows herself to feel her emotions and act based on them. In turn, this has helped her do what she wants to do, rather than always doing what others want her to do.
When Tracy was only 14, her mother passed away unexpectedly, and she realized she never dealt with the grief. So, when her husband passed away in 2016, she sought help to be able to handle her grief in a healthy way rather than suppressing it like she did when she was young. In this journey, she was diagnosed with ADHD, she’s learned how to deal with her emotions, and she feels more validated since discovering new layers to herself.
Supporting women is so important to Tracy, especially being a Black woman. She had to internally accept that she is okay with being a Black woman, and no matter how exhausting it is, she continues to stand up for what she believes in. Tracy wants to do more for the girls who look like her and encourage them that they can do whatever they set their minds to. Some people think they know Tracy’s experience more than she does, despite not being Black or being a woman. Tracy just continues to focus on those who matter most; She wants young Black girls and women to know that they can do whatever they want, and history has proven that they get it done.
Tracy’s values are surrounded by faith, and she credits this to having maintained her sanity while she’s experienced her hardships. Faith gets her back on track when she falters, and it keeps her doing the right thing. Even if people around her don’t have the same beliefs, she appreciates when her views are respected. She looks for respect to be earned, not just from her, but Tracy works to earn it from others as well.
After her mother passed, Tracy did things based on what she thought her mother would’ve wanted, even if she didn’t necessarily agree. She didn’t have a lot of support in the area of expectations that she needed either, so it took a long time for her to live out of her own expectations rather than others. Now, she acts based on what she wants and what her body needs, not based on what others expect her to do. As so many young people don’t, Tracy didn’t know her place in the world, and it just took a little bit of time for her to find it.
Over the years, Tracy has been peeling back her layers, which doesn’t have to be a negative thing. She describes this process like peeling back an orange: no one wants to eat the outer shell, but once you peel back the layers of the fruit, you get to enjoy the deliciousness inside. It’s not about the outside shell, but rather what’s on the inside.
Tracy describes herself as a loner and says she has always been selective of her inner circle, but sometimes that has resulted in her feeling lonely. However, she’s made a change in her life by making herself more available in a positive way. She didn’t have models of female empowerment growing up, and living out F.E.E.L. continues to be a journey for her. She’s seen the benefits of peeling back her layers, though sometimes it’s easier said than done. Tracy has found that she’s able to work things out when she talks aloud to herself, even more so than when she speaks to a therapist or someone in confidence. We tend to be most honest with ourselves in private, and Tracy uses this to her advantage to be able to work on herself.
Even when talking about difficult topics, Tracy has been so honest and vulnerable throughout the episode. We appreciate her wisdom and positive outlook on each talking point, and she has provided so much inspiration to those who listen.
Ways to Engage: Do you find that you’re most honest with yourself in a private situation like Tracy is? Do you ever take the time to speak to yourself aloud or write things down freely? Think of a situation or layer you’d like to explore and see if you’re more honest with yourself in private. It might not be for everyone, but you may discover a more effective way to embrace your layers.