Episode 7 - Embracing Body Love with Rachel Lavin 

By Jessica Garrison

This week, Melissa is joined by Rachel Lavin, a personal trainer and author of The Donut Diaries. Her website features an about page, the many services she provides, and a blog about her experiences that coincide with her weight journey. We’ve never covered the topics of eating disorders, the expectations of women’s bodies, and the culture of food in depth before, but I love that we’re bringing attention to the subjects with Rachel’s guidance and knowledge.

Food is such an important part of Rachel’s day, as it should be for everyone’s day. Part of her self-care routine is eating a good breakfast, moving her body, and waking up with gratitude. Another aspect of her self-care routine is getting the tasks on her to-do list completed so she’s able to go to sleep peacefully. I think everyone can attest that it’s anxiety-inducing to lay in bed thinking of everything you didn’t get done but could’ve, or all the stuff you’ll have to do tomorrow. Having this as a self-care step has been beneficial to Rachel, and I can understand how impactful that must be.

Boundaries have been a long time coming for Rachel. She doesn’t want to set boundaries with anger. The world is harsh enough as we all know, so she always sets her boundaries properly, without anger or resentment. She sets them from a healthy standpoint and with a calm mind. Communication is key in making sure people know how she’s feeling and how she can understand their feelings as well.

She feels very strongly about taking care of her emotional health as much as her physical health. The biggest hurdle to getting to where she is now was learning to speak kinder to herself. She found herself reaching outward rather than inward and lost herself in the process. When she turned 40, she was a size 0, and everyone in her life was complimenting how much better she looked after losing weight. Still, she wasn’t happy. She moved forward with being kinder to herself, recognizing trauma from the past, and putting forgiveness first. The attention she was getting made her feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. An important lesson she wants everyone to learn is that another person’s body is no one else’s business, and commenting on other people’s bodies is never appropriate.

Rachel said it takes serious work to realize where your trauma comes from. You have to search through the parts you may not want to and offer forgiveness you never knew you were capable of giving. In supporting women, Rachel shared a story that I thought was adorable and shows that there can be light during dark times. A little girl in TJ Maxx went up to a woman and said, “I love your dress!” When Rachel told the little girl how kind that was, she said, “And I love your purse!” We need to see more of this with young women, portraying each other as advocates rather than competition. It was also kind of Rachel to compliment the young girl for being supportive, reinforcing how good it feels to be kind.

When it comes to her values, Rachel is conscious of how she treats others and how she treats herself. It’s important to learn the body’s signals and honor those signals because, otherwise, everything else will suffer. She doesn’t ever want to go back to treating herself poorly, and I commend her on the journey she’s been on because it certainly isn’t an easy one.

Although living outside of other people’s expectations is a work in progress, Rachel has come to learn that using “No” as a sentence is such a relief. There’s no need to explain yourself or why you do what you do. It’s your life, and it’s important to live it as you want to. She saw this come through with her book which she had a passion for. However, Rachel held off on writing it because even though she had lost a lot of weight and wanted to share her experience, she was worried about gaining the weight back. She realized though that her failures were the missing piece to her story, and now she’s able to share her authentic experience with others to help them on their own journey.

Being kinder to yourself means you’ll be kinder to others, and Rachel has seen herself transform into a better partner, friend, and person. The effort that Rachel has put forth making her life better has in turn been making the lives of those around her better, and we’re excited to see what else she will accomplish.

Ways to Engage: Food is an interesting but sensitive topic and has a strange dynamic in our lives. It’s fuel to our bodies, yet it comes with a lot of stipulations in our culture. Please feel free to share any thoughts, experiences, or insight you may have in the comments below.

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Episode 8 - Healthy Boundaries Equals Healthy Bodies with Dr. Shalonna Battle

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Episode 6 - Moving Forward from Loss Through Self-Care with June K. Collins