Episode 11 - Empowered Voices Through Strategic Assertiveness with Cara Tuttle Bell

By Jessica Garrison

Our guest this week, Cara Tuttle Bell, joins Melissa in talking about the double standards many women face, especially in the professional world. Traits that are praised in men are often used negatively against women, but Cara continues to use her voice to empower other women to live proudly and authentically. She describes herself as persistent, relentless, courageous, fair, and compassionate, all of which are clear to see after listening to her episode.

Self-care has been a journey for Cara over the last decade, but she has been making notable progress. One example she provides includes something as simple as making sure she eats a filling lunch so she has enough energy for the rest of the day, rather than skipping lunch to continue working and being burnt out later on.

We’ve heard from quite a few guests that setting boundaries in place can rub people the wrong way, even if you’re being completely reasonable. When people are used to getting what they want from you, there can sometimes be pushback for finally standing your ground. There are a lot of gems in this segment, and Cara brings much-needed attention to the boundary conversation. Sometimes you have to pick and choose your battles with people, and that’s something I’ve come to find out as well.

Crying was not rewarded like anger was growing up, and as Cara says, “Your body keeps the record book.” Your body falls into the routines you set for yourself, but your body can help you take care of yourself, too. Keeping up with your emotional health as much as your physical health comes from prioritizing yourself, and setting boundaries, as well as communicating these things to those around you. Cara gives strong insight into this talking point, and it serves as a great reminder of how knowledgeable and benevolent our guests are.

Cara dives into the complexities of supporting women in living unapologetically and how capitalism can affect us in this with who gets praised and who doesn’t. The system is set up against certain people, and Cara believes everyone has the right to speak their mind, share their ideas, and do so in a safe environment. The way she speaks is so eloquent and confident; I admire her for her strength and beliefs. This is probably my favorite talking point from her episode, so I’d love to hear any comments or thoughts our listeners have on this.

Although we all have days where we don’t feel productive or like we’ve “earned” it, it’s still important we allow ourselves breaks. Cara’s why is rooted in acknowledging the work she has done and saying, “I showed up and tried.” Even if it doesn’t feel like she did everything she could, she knows in her body and heart that she did.

With expectations, we think there are boxes we need to check off: married, children, career. However, just because the boxes are checked doesn’t equate to happiness. During this segment, Cara shares her struggles with divorce and life after saying, “I can’t keep living like this.” It’s a huge jump to make, but sometimes it’s necessary to find what we’re truly after in life.

Our layers are so beautiful, and Cara shares the importance of allowing space for those layers to exist. Instead of pushing them down or blocking them out, she’s seen the advantages of discovering herself. She has also found that once she really committed to living out F.E.E.L., the journey becomes more clear. She shared that there is no better feeling than knowing who you are and showing up authentically. There’s time that’s yours and space that’s yours, and listening to Cara explain this gets me excited for anyone who’s looking to begin this journey to living authentically. It’s a journey that will continue to grow and evolve, but the end results are so worth it.

This is one of our longer episodes, so there is an extraordinary amount of information to learn and ideas to work into your own journey. I suggest listening to Cara’s episode with pen and paper available to take notes because there’s so much to learn.

Ways to Engage: Cara mentions how the societal systems we live in can affect other aspects of our lives, such as our careers, financial situations, and even personal relationships. Are there any examples you can think of in your personal life or what you may have seen others experience that relate to this subject? Even if it doesn’t seem like it at first, if we continue to dive deep into these subjects, we can gain new perspectives and understanding of those around us.