Episode 23 - Self Care in the Simple Things with Erin Copelan

By Jessica Garrison

Our guest this week is the effervescent, resilient, creative, heart-led, and courageous Erin Copelan. Erin has been a frequent guest on the Embracing Layers Radio Show, and we’re thrilled to share her message with our podcast audience as well. Her experience in caregiving flows into everyday life and serves as a reminder that we are not alone.

For Erin, self care is a loaded topic because there’s so many directions to go in. When Erin became her husband’s caretaker, the first thing to go was self care; adding something else to her agenda was overwhelming at first. Over time, she has learned the necessity of taking moments when she can, showing appreciation for what she’s accomplished, and celebrating those victories.

Boundaries are an area of life that have come up recently for Erin. She took up being a caregiver for her grandparents and had the community of her father and sister to help out. It was important for her to learn to accept and ask for help from others. It’s challenging to reach out and admit you can’t do something alone, but it reigns true for so many people. We would want our loved ones to ask for help when they’re getting stressed or tired, so we should offer them the same opportunity to help us.

Stifling the energy or emotions you have can show up as chronic pain later. Erin says to “feel your feelings and heal the feel.” Caregiving can actually be quite traumatic and it’s something you have to live with everyday, but Erin was not properly allowing herself to express her trauma or emotions. Everyone has their own window of tolerance for PTSD, but learning your limits is key as to not do any harm to yourself. Again, asking for help, even help to take a mental load off, can be life changing.

Supporting women is about releasing judgment and understanding that everyone is different. Erin’s phrase, “No matter what you choose, I got you,” is a simple yet powerful statement to make. It’s easier to make authentic decisions when you know someone is behind you the entire time. There is a supportive community out there, even if you haven’t found it yet.

Erin wants people to heal and thrive as caregivers, and her why is about embracing love. Her book, Welcome to Caregiving: The Things Caregivers Never Talk About, offers a genuine story of love, misconceptions, and hardships that can give new information and a new perspective to someone’s life as a caregiver.

Sometimes expectations can bring out the ugly side of people. During the episode, Erin shared a story about moving and how the stress of it was impacting her life. We never really know what’s happening in someone else’s life, so it’s important to leave our judgment at the door and keep unwanted advice or expectations to ourselves.

Accepting the layered aspects of yourself is a human experience that we should be relishing in. Embrace the joys, accept the support, and have space to feel any emotions that may come up. As Erin says, life is boring without layers! It’s exciting to explore different sides of yourself and learn to love every piece.

By living out F.E.E.L, Erin is able to offer more grace and forgiveness for herself as well as others. There’s more appreciation she has for herself, and she’s seen that not only does she have this same appreciation for others, but she sees others have it for her, too. Relationships are able to blossom and flourish when there’s more communication, honesty, and appreciation for all involved.

Erin has been such an incredible friend to the Embracing Layers Network over the last few months, and I’m happy we get to share her with you in our podcast! Check out the resources page for more information on Erin or check out her website! There’s still plenty to learn from this intelligent and wise woman.

Ways to Engage: Erin brings up an interesting point of caregivers experiencing PTSD, something I never thought of before but reigns true. Think of a time you’ve been a caregiver, been cared for, or witnessed someone caring for another person. Think of the emotions you felt, the emotions that person may have felt, or anything you picked up on from the experience. There are memories or trauma you may be carrying with you that need to be brought to the surface, or this could offer a new perspective to a situation you’ve been in.