Episode 21 - Discerning the Lies from the Truth with Reverend Cheryl Kincaid
By Jessica Garrison
Episode trigger warnings: mentions of abuse, sexual harassment, rape, incest, molestation
Our guest this week is Reverend Cheryl Kincaid, a persevering woman of honesty, faith, God, and justice. Her episode has some disturbing topics and although they are crucial to share and discuss, we want to make sure everyone takes care of themselves before, during, or after listening to the episode. Normally I choose to write about a specific talking point that really hits home for the episode, but I just can’t settle on one for Rev. Cheryl. Her journey through life has been waves of highs and lows, but her attitude remains dynamic and bright.
Rev. Cheryl’s upbringing was clouded with financial instability and abuse. Not only did she have much to learn, but she also had things to unlearn throughout her life. One story I felt the power of was her time in a disciple house where she heard women’s stories that aligned with hers. Every woman there had some story of abuse or harassment, even in faith spaces where they were supposed to be safe. So many of us have shared experiences that shouldn’t happen to anyone, but this just reaffirms that we are not alone in our struggles. It’s imperative to keep in mind that there isn’t something wrong with you and whatever happened isn’t your fault.
Another point Rev. Cheryl insists on is you do not have to go to a Christian therapist if you are a Christian. Depending on a person’s financial situation, specific therapists aren’t always available, but that’s okay; it does not make you any less of a Christian. Rev. Cheryl shared how she found a terrific therapist that was not Christian-based but still respected her ideology and took that into account during treatment. Most therapists are trained to respect your religious beliefs or backgrounds, no matter what it is. You don’t have to break the bank to find a therapist that is right for you, and there is no shame in asking for or receiving help. There is help out there for everyone, including free services that Rev. Cheryl lists in the episode that can benefit those in need.
I could continue writing about this episode for the rest of the season, but there’s one more thing I want to leave with readers in case the episode is too triggering to listen to as a whole. Rev. Cheryl says, “you cannot compare your insides with other people’s outside.” If you’re feeling turmoil inside, you cannot look at someone else and think the grass is greener with them. You have no idea what they have going on inside their head or in their life, so it does no good to beat yourself up about things out of your control. You are your own special self and it’s more important now than ever that we celebrate diversity. Even if someone’s life seems perfect on the outside, it doesn’t mean they don’t experience storms to get to the rainbow.
Rev. Cheryl’s work is revolutionary, creating safe spaces for all people, especially Christians who may not be getting the respect they deserve within their community. She’s written books and has her own blog, Wisdom for Life, to explore more of her kind soul. It’s comforting to know women like Reverend Cheryl are actively making the world a better place for those who need it the most.
Ways to Engage: What is a misconception you have about your life? For example, Rev. Cheryl shared her misconceptions with her faith as she continued to learn and grow throughout her life, understanding that there isn’t a correct way for a Christian woman to feel or act—it doesn’t make you any less of a person. Is there a misconception you had about your life when you were younger that you outgrew? What did you learn that made you realize this and how has that affected you going forward? Is there something you want people to know about yourself? Share your story with us and connect with others who have similar experiences, like Rev. Cheryl did.