Episode 6 - Standing Up & Finding Your Value with Dana Diaz
By Jessica Garrison
Trigger warnings for episode: Discussion of sensitive topics such as abuse, domestic violence, suicide
It’s always important to talk about heavy topics, but you also have to do it with a delicate dialogue, and Dana Diaz does this so incredibly well throughout the episode. She describes herself as normal, a helper, a learner, and has a desire to live in her truth.
There’s something in each talking point I could get into, but the one that stuck with me the most was “Accepting the Layered Aspects of Yourself.” With Dana’s history, it took a long time for her to be able to discover who she truly is, not the person others wanted her to be. It was a survival instinct to conform to what the people around her said, but lately she’s been able to discover herself. We shouldn’t live in the past hoping we can change it; we should be moving forward to a more authentic life.
It’s inevitable that we’ll make mistakes, but Dana emphasizes that growth is essential for moving forward and forgiving ourselves. What I loved most about this conversation is that she says it’s important to forgive ourselves, but we don’t necessarily have to forgive others. I constantly hear that we should forgive those who have done us wrong in order to feel at peace, but that’s never sounded right to me. Unfortunately, there are some things that people do that are unforgivable. Why should we have to forgive them in order to be happy? I agree we should forgive ourselves and not hold onto the anger of mistakes we’ve made, but we don’t have to forgive those we aren’t ready to forgive. Sometimes it’s harsh or doesn’t sound fair, but offering forgiveness you don’t mean can be even more damaging. I’m thankful that Dana brought this up in the conversation and proved that you can live your life authentically and happily without forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to do.
Dana is currently the author of two books that go into more detail of her past, Choking on Shame: The Scapegoat Child in a Narcissistic Family and Gasping for Air: The Stranglehold of Narcissistic Abuse, as well as her own website for more information on her story. I commend her for her vulnerability, honesty, and strength to become the person she is today. It isn’t easy to put your story out there for others to hear or judge, but by sharing her truth, she is able to change the lives of so many who need it.
Ways to Engage: Think of a moment in your life that you believe you should forgive yourself for. It can be difficult at first, so start small if that helps. Offering forgiveness to your past self can help you heal and move forward in a healthy way with the future. Meditate, write it down, or do whatever works best for you to conjure up the memories and emotions necessary.
Abuse/Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Suicide/Crisis Lifeline: 988