Dealing With Summer Body Expectations
By Jessica Garrison
When someone says the word “summer,” most people think of longer days, vacations, time off from school, waterparks, ice cream, and everything related to fun. However, in the back of my mind, I dread summer. It’s hot, which means I can’t hide behind an oversized sweater and sweatpants. It’s a whirlwind of trying to get into the perfect shape to wear a bikini and having your body look picture perfect. In the world of Instagram and social media, it’s even more difficult to live up to the world’s expectations. Body expectations affect everyone, but it’s especially apparent during the warmer seasons.
Women are judged every day just for existing it seems, but nothing is crammed down our throats more than having the perfect body. Women are expected to be slim (but not too slim), have big breasts (but not too big), have a big butt (but not too big). It’s absolutely impossible to make everyone happy, but putting this amount of pressure on people just sets them up for failure.
I was very fit growing up because I played softball eight months out of the year, but once I stopped around 13 years old, my body image plummeted. I gained weight because I wasn’t as active as I used to be, and I was embarrassed to show any skin. No matter how humid it was outside, I tried my best to cover up so no one would see my body. I didn’t even want to see my body. It makes me sad to think about it now because I just want to go back in time and tell that girl that she shouldn’t believe the negative things she told herself about her body—she can go out in a bathing suit to enjoy the summer without worrying that she’s going to be laughed at. It’s still a process to accept myself and my body, but I have to be proud of the progress I’ve made and continue to make.
One of our staff members, Micaela, shares her own displeasure with summer body expectations: “Although I have always been thin, I still struggled to love and accept my body. Not only did I allow the jokes that some of my peers threw at me to get the best of me, but I was also very insecure about the amount of hair on my body because I seemed to be hairier than the other girls around me.”
Despite her love for going to the beach and pool, she started dreading the idea of going to both because of her shyness and the possibility of being judged for her body hair. However, she did not let this stop her from getting into the water, and once she finally gained the confidence to get in it, she pushed herself to focus on having fun instead of what people may have thought about her.
It’s been a long time coming, but Micaela says that she has learned that she is fearfully and wonderfully made, and she intends to remember these words going into this summer season and beyond. She says, “I hope every woman who reads this remembers that you are also fearfully and wonderfully made, no matter what society may say.”
Not only do body expectations affect women, but men as well. If a man isn’t perfectly fit with a muscular body that is appealing to the eye, then they’re shamed for it. We say that men have “Dad bodies” if they have a gut or extra fat on their bodies. How can we expect anyone to have self-confidence when we’re constantly tearing them down for not being perfect? The truth is no one is perfect. Of course we all know that, but then why do we always give our two cents about what someone else is doing? We make assumptions about others and how they’re living their lives, which just isn’t fair.
For example, People think I wear a one-piece bathing suit because I’m insecure about my body. They tell me that I’m skinny enough to wear a bikini, but that has nothing to do with my decision. The truth is I’m much more comfortable swimming in a one-piece instead of a two-piece. If anything, that makes me more self-conscious of my body. No one needs to be making any comments about my body or what I choose to wear. Micaela also says she wears a one-piece bathing suit, not only for her own comfortability, but for her religious values as well. If someone is skinny, we assume they’re confident in their own skin and if someone is fat, we assume they’re lazy. It’s much easier to just mind your own business because you have no idea what reasons they could have behind their decisions.
The bottom line is if everyone ate the same foods and exercised the same amount on the same equipment, we would still all look different. I don’t think “fat” should even be a bad word—as long as a person is healthy, then who are we to judge? The world would be a much better place if we would be kind to one another and stop judging. My best advice is to dress however is comfortable for yourself, and confidence will follow. It’s much easier said than done to put yourself out there after years of doubt, but with time and practice, it will come. When we learn to stop caring what other people think of us, we’ll be much happier. Put energy into what makes you happy, and go easier on yourself. Reminder: you’re a beautiful human with a bright future, no matter what size you are.