Episode 11 - The Nuanced Emotions of Mother’s and Father’s Day

Mother’s & Father’s Day is a cherished American tradition of holidays, and if you see the commercials, you get the message that everyone’s relationship with these holidays is whimsical, full of gratitude and love for your parents, the perfect joy of being a parent, and for how your kids (if you have them) celebrate you and your wonderful life together.

This is not to say that there are not people out there with this experience, but there are a lot of other emotions and experiences that go with this for thousands if not millions of people, but there’s no commercial or marketing campaign that talks about that.

1. What about the person who has an estranged relationship with one or both parents

2. What about the person who has lost one or both parents to death, or is a foster child who never knew one or both parents

3. What about the parents who have an estranged relationship with their child(ren)

4. What about the person who just miscarried or can’t get pregnant, or can’t have children at all, or their adoption just fell through, or they lost their child to illness or accident or suicide

5. What about the couple who does not want to have children, but the culture is constantly trying to make them second guess that decision

6. What about the person who has a great relationship with their children, but a more complicated relationship with one or both parents, which makes these very bittersweet holidays

7. What about the child who has lost a parent to disease or accident, or that parent left and they have no contact with them, or even know what to think of that relationship….are they offered another option when the rest of the class is making something for their parent for Mother’s or Father’s Day

8. What about the child whose parents are abusive, but feel the pressure to make the card or send the present because everyone else in the classroom is doing it

These are a few examples of what is not shown in the hallmark card commercial or marketing campaign.  

The most fascinating thing that has come up as my staff and the people we have reached out to join this conversation is this: All feel like this is an important and timely conversation that needs to be had, but hardly anyone is comfortable participating in the conversation on a platform that will go out to the world. That’s how sensitive this conversation is. Most want to have it, and feel it’s necessary and important, and yet are very uncomfortable actually participating in it.  

With all that being said, we’re having this conversation, and we hope it helps someone or maybe several someones feel like they’re not alone in the complex emotions Mother’s and Father’s Day can bring up for people. We’re going to use our talking points to guide us as we figure out the best, healthiest way to navigate this, and I sincerely hope this will be helpful.

We invite you to join us for this conversation that my husband Brady so graciously joined me for, and even if your relationship falls into the “Hallmark” category, it might give you some insight into those people you know who don’t share that same experience.