Episode 3 - Embracing the Layers of a Sober-Powered Life with Gill Tietz
By Jessica Garrison
This week we’re joined by the Sober Powered Podcast founder, Gill Tietz. Gill used to work in a lab where she “expressed, purified, and characterized therapeutic proteins for research.” She’s since used her biochemistry background to help educate others about alcohol and works towards ending the stigma that surrounds it.
That stigma kept Gill feeling stuck in her situation. She was afraid of being judged or appearing as “not strong enough” to stop drinking. Despite the media tending to glorify drinking and alcoholism, Gill wants everyone to know it is not a strong person versus a weak person trait. People react to alcohol differently, and if you have a problem stopping, it doesn’t make you weak. Just like our self-care journeys, everyone has their own path to travel and some are more difficult than others.
When your work is your hobby like it is for Gill, it’s difficult to have boundaries set up. She used to be worried that setting boundaries would hurt other people's feelings. As a woman, you have to be careful as to not appear as a “bitch,” especially from a business standpoint. Words that come from a man may be seen as assertive or dominant, but the same words from a woman may be seen as bitchy or controlling. The “Swiftie” in me can’t help but think of Taylor Swift’s “The Man” when Melissa and Gill are talking about this. She just describes the contrast in comparisons so vividly, as does Gill.
Gill also felt the need for people to like her, and that adds to the reason why she had a difficult time setting boundaries. Without boundaries, she found that resentment and negative emotions would cloud her relationships. She’s still trying to be firm in setting her boundaries, but she’s already seen the benefit in her relationships with communicating her boundaries.
Gill talks a lot about taking care of her emotional health as much as her physical health on her own podcast. She’s discovered that by using other things to meet her needs, she won’t be successful in fulfilling her health either way. She provided a few examples, such as drinking or shopping. People tend to drink when they want to avoid certain feelings; they might be covered up for a little bit, but they won’t just go away. The same goes for covering up anxieties with a shopping spree. Sometimes it’s nice to buy yourself some new things, same as having a drink with a friend after a long day, but it won’t make the feelings disappear. Facing it is an important lesson that Gill has come to realize and shares with her audience.
Originally, Gill’s relationship with self-care included drinking. For example, after a long day of work, she would have a glass of wine, which is seemingly normal to most people. However, it was becoming a habit that she went to immediately whenever feeling stressed. This wasn’t taking care of herself at the core, though. Her moods would range from her being tired or cranky to having no patience. She didn’t know why she’d feel this way after having her “self-care” glass of wine. She’s finally started prioritizing herself, describing it as being on a “health kick.” One action she’s been taking towards this includes not checking her phone as soon as she wakes up. She realized it’s a source of stress because she feels the need to respond right away to those who are emailing her or she has to see trolls in her Instagram comments before the day even begins. This way, she can go for a walk and start the morning calm before diving right into the chaos.
Melissa and Gill have a lot in common when it comes to their why and their values: neither of them wants to lose track of their mission. It can be tempting to give in to what others want you to do in exchange for more money or publicity, but if it doesn’t align with their values, they can’t bring themselves to accept the offer. I think it’s quite an admirable quality to have, especially since they have a platform to help others, not to take advantage of them for a quick buck.
A roadblock for Gill has been her self-esteem, but she’s been learning to be kinder to herself and more gracious. She mentioned the advice that people give about talking to yourself like you’re talking to a friend, and that’s advice I have actually found to be effective. If I’m having a mental breakdown, yelling at myself doesn’t help. If I remain calm and supportive of what I’m feeling, it gives me better results. As Gill puts it, there are so many different versions of ourselves and we should appreciate all of our parts because it’s what makes us who we are.
Without self-care, boundaries, living out of her own expectations, and all the other aspects of F.E.E.L., Gill is not 100% herself. She’s found herself to be more accepting, understanding, and patient. Through her journey to sobriety and to taking better care of herself, Gill has learned to be more compassionate as well. The work she does is not only life-changing, but also life-saving. If you or anyone you know is struggling with alcohol, please reach out to some resources listed below.
Ways to Engage: What are some examples in the media where alcohol or alcoholism is glorified? Did they make you view alcoholics, your friends, or even yourself in a different way? Feel free to share your thoughts and any other topics that need to be embraced.
Resources:
Gill Tietz’s website: https://www.soberpowered.com
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: 1-800-662-4357 or 1-800-487-4889
American Addiction Centers: 1-888-451-9142