Episode 13 - Healing Through Her Own Expectations with Chelsea Husum
By Jessica Garrison
Trigger warnings: sexual assault/rape
Our next guest describes herself as a homebody, passionate, enthusiastic, kind, positive, and a person who loves life. Chelsea Husum’s story this week is heart wrenching and captivating. I want to point out the trigger warnings for the episode in the beginning of the blog, but if you’re able, I want you to listen to the entire episode, take notes, and really listen to what she has to say. There were times I had to go back for notes because I was too busy listening to the incredible way Chelsea shares her experiences with F.E.E.L.
I really connected to Chelsea when she was talking about supporting women unapologetically. Growing up, she was always “the nice girl.” When she said this phrase, I remember saying something similar to this in a radio show episode, and it’s always strange to find out how connected our experiences are, but I think that’s what makes women so powerful. A lot of girls growing up are told to be “good” and to be “nice.” What that really means is to not cause any problems. Don’t speak up for yourself when you’re uncomfortable, smile when people tell you to, no talking back—just do whatever makes those around you happy. Boys will be boys, but you want to have a good, nice girl.
After many years, Chelsea felt that enough was enough, and she wouldn't continue to abide by these unspoken rules of what a nice girl needs to be. She realized how much better she deserves, and I think that’s a huge step in beginning your embracing layers journey. Once you see your worth, you start to treat yourself better and stop accepting less than what you deserve.
It’s important to surround yourself with good people, and this becomes inevitable once you see your worth. Sometimes the friends you had before are not the same ones to take on your new journey, and that’s okay. We should be with people who make us feel good about ourselves and build us up, rather than those who continue to tear us down. Chelsea’s friendships are very important to her, and she says she sneaks in lunches with them whenever she can, always creating time and space for these incredible women in her life. When others see her succeeding they can say, “I can do that too!” instead of looking at it from a competition standpoint. Chelsea shows how important it is to have someone who makes you feel seen, heard, and supported, and we can be the same person in return for them.
This has been one of my favorite episodes this season, and I love the points Chelsea chooses to emphasize in her journey. You can visit Chelsea’s website for more information on her, check out her book, and hear her on other podcasts. Take care of yourself after listening and remember the support you have around you.
Ways to Engage: Does listening to Chelsea’s episode bring up any past memories of childhood? Being told to be a nice girl when you wanted to do the exact opposite? It can be quite cathartic to write down what you were told to be, what you wanted to be, your emotions around all of it, and who you are now. Throw out the system of what we think raising girls should be like and let them be who they truly are.