The F.E.E.L Podcast 12/5/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 12/5/22

Episode 7 - Loving Our Complex Layers with Dr. Bernadine Waller

By Jessica Garrison

Our guest for this week’s episode is a very accomplished scholar, working at Adelphi University for 14 years and currently working as a research fellow at Columbia University in New York City. Dr. Bernadine Waller (or Dr. Bern, as she is often called) offers so much great advice and intelligence as she goes through the F.E.E.L podcast talking points with Melissa.

Her self care goal is to keep herself whole and healthy enough to help others, describing herself as a natural caregiver. She also says how important it is for her to invite God into her life, being protective of her Sundays and allowing Him to be part of everything she does. Dr. Bern says that “self care is a journey,” which we have covered extensively on the podcast. What nourishes you in one season may not nourish you in another, and it’s okay to evolve with your needs.

I found one of the most interesting parts of the episode to be when Dr. Bern describes her boundaries and how she puts them in place. Her PhD is in social work, which can be a difficult field to be able to set boundaries in. It can wear on your mind and your body quite often, and her biggest wakeup call came when she was diagnosed with a noncancerous tumor, which usually shows up in people twice her age. When it comes to becoming better at setting boundaries, she says, “it should not take a life-altering health challenge for us to do that.” This reminds me of our Clay Health episode with its founder, Sera, who experienced a health crisis that made her chase after what she really wanted from life. It seems to be a pattern that women continue to work themselves so harshly until, like Dr. Bern says, a major medical crisis takes place. She couldn’t be more right; it shouldn’t take something like that to change your perspective, especially because you may not get the chance to change things afterward. It’s scary to think about, but hopefully her stories and advice can help everyone move forward towards their true goals before it’s too late.

The order that Dr. Bern takes care of herself is her spiritual health first, then her mental, then her physical. If she follows this order, then everything else seems to fall into place, though that may not be the same for everyone. She is a big believer in both Jesus and therapy, rather than only relying on her faith to keep her mental health in the right place. It’s okay to ask for help from mental health professionals—that’s what they’re there for, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Another thing she does to take care of her mental health as much as her physical health is to allow herself to enjoy things. Although her work is important and means a lot to her, she doesn’t let it take over her life; she’s allowed to enjoy things in her downtime that don’t relate to work.

There was another part of this episode that I absolutely loved, and it’s when Dr. Bern is talking about her values and how she sees herself. She used to always seek approval from others, especially in high school when the boys didn’t want to go out with her. She thought she wasn’t good enough, and it might be because of her dark skin or impurities that she found in herself. But as she got older, she learned to affirm herself and accept how “perfectly imperfect” she was. All of the things she used to hate when she was younger are the things that make her who she is now, and that’s a really special point of view to have. She compares it by using the example of a wound and a scar. There's a huge difference between them. Wounds take time to heal, but you need to expose them once in a while to be able to allow it to heal properly; the same goes for our hurt on the inside. If you keep it tucked away forever, it will take longer to heal, and it won’t heal the same way if you allowed it to show itself every now and then. At first when she was describing this, I was thinking to myself, where is she going with this? But once she finished, it all made sense. That’s why she is The Dr. Bern—emphasis on everything.

I truly didn’t even scratch the surface with this blog in comparison to the episode. The way Dr. Bern speaks about her life, helping others, and all of her knowledge is one of the most eye opening things ever. Listening to her during this episode was life changing, and I hope we can have her back as a guest someday to share more stories.

The F.E.E.L Podcast 11/21/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 11/21/22

Episode 6 - Beauty & Beauty Privilege - What is it, Who defines it, & How do We Find Our Beauty in it?

By Jessica Garrison

In a world consumed by social media, toxic body image, and celebrity worship, the way we perceive ourselves is harsher than ever. This week we discuss pretty privilege and beauty standards that we’re faced with in society, especially being women across a spectrum of backgrounds. From racism to agism, the world of beauty is difficult to navigate, and there’s never a real winner. This conversation is hosted by Melissa Crook with guests Charlotte Feehan, Micaela, and myself, as we share our past experiences with beauty standards and how the media changed our perception growing up.

Micaela brought up how she watched America’s Next Top Model growing up (I was OBSESSED with it), yet there were so many terrible messages sent to young girls through this show. She recalls a specific season where a contestant had a gap in her front teeth and was told she needs to close it to become a model. The model stood up for herself and said she liked the gap between her teeth,, but the insistence to get rid of it really is damaging to those watching who don’t have perfect teeth and might not have the means to accomplish that. But why do we care so much? We can’t help how our teeth grow in; it’s a natural occurrence, and yet we put so much pressure on ourselves to look flawless every second of the day, even when it comes to our teeth and our smiles. This show was on air for 24 seasons and received multiple spin-offs across various countries; imagine how many people were negatively affected by this show and will continue to be affected by it.

In high school, Charlotte never felt desirable because everyone had preconceived notions of who was pretty and who was popular. She was introverted and closed off, but she didn’t mind that. She was comfortable with who she was, but there came a point where she started to change herself for social media. She posted more of what she thought other people would like to see and what would bring her more attention. She describes how those posts did get her more attention from boys, and she experienced a lot of unsolicited comments about her body and the way she looked. Just because someone posts a photo doesn’t mean that they want everyone’s two cents, but, unfortunately, it seems to be a sacrifice you have to make in the world of social media.

Melissa also shares a story that she previously spoke about in another episode, where she experienced a serious foot injury being a track runner. However, the injury didn’t come from actually running on the track. She says that if she didn’t feel skinny enough before bed, she would jog in place in her room until she felt like she was thin enough. It breaks my heart to hear stories like this, but I’ve experienced this mentality as well. It’s even more upsetting to think about how many people agree that they’ve had similar thoughts and experiences when no one should have to go through that. There’s also so much talk about beauty stopping once you reach a certain age, and Melissa has had to deal with this for years. Any person of any age can be beautiful, but according to societal rules, beauty ends at 30 when there’s still so much life left to live.

When it comes to beauty culture, my first thought is it’s about whatever is in style at the time. If big lips are in style, then it seems like everyone is getting lip injections and plumping lip gloss. If skinny butts are in style, everyone’s getting liposuction and going on destructive diets to seem as skinny as possible. Personally, I don’t find anything wrong with people who want to have work done because I believe if it’s your body, then it’s your choice. However, I believe people should do it for the right reasons, rather than just worrying about seeming beautiful to others and worrying about what other people think of you. It truly is a battle that goes back and forth, and like I said before, it’s too contradicting for anyone to actually be victorious in the eyes of society and its standards.

This has been one of the easiest blogs to write and yet one of the most difficult. Just as we said on the podcast, we could talk about this topic all day long. This topic could be its own podcast with how many layers there are to the conversation. Deciding which stories to tell and which could be saved for another day was difficult. But we would love to continue the conversation, hear everyone’s stories, and bring more awareness to issues involving beauty privilege, body image, and everything in between because no one is alone in the struggle.

The F.E.E.L Podcast 11/7/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 11/7/22

Episode 5 - Learning & Evolving with Dawn

By Jessica Garrison

This week’s guest on the F.E.E.L podcast, Dawn, is a wonderful reminder that there’s always something to learn by listening to the experience of others, no matter how different they may seem from us. Hearing Dawn speak about what she has learned (and continues to learn) throughout her life really changed my perspective on the way I view certain things. She weaves these lessons into the story she is telling, and it’s like listening to someone you have known for a lifetime.

Dawn approaches each day with positivity as she tries to remain open-minded when it comes to new experiences and ideas. She says she’s still working on taking care of herself, but being a nurse in the NICU, she’s used to putting others above her. The advice she gives to parents is to look after themselves so they can be 1000% for their child, but this isn’t always what she tells herself. After being a caregiver for so long, it can be difficult to get out of that habit of ignoring your own needs, but prioritizing self care is a skill Dawn continues to work on, which isn’t the first (and certainly not the last) time we will hear this on the podcast.

Boundaries are also a work in progress for Dawn. She is a people pleaser through and through. Whenever someone needs help, she’s there to lend a hand without asking for much in return. Her method to bettering her boundaries is “focusing on the moment and making [herself] present in the moment.” Instead of multitasking, she sets time aside for what she needs to focus on and puts her phone on Do Not Disturb when she doesn’t want the distraction. Little things like this have been helping her to establish what is most important and what she needs to feel fulfilled.

Dawn shares the direct correlation she has noticed when it comes to her physical and emotional health. She has a workout routine that involves light exercise and walking, and when she skips her routine, she feels it in her body and her soul. By not keeping her body healthy, it negatively affected her mental state. Everyone has a different routine they follow when it comes to keeping their body active, but the two are definitely tied together stronger than we may think, even when it comes to the smallest details.

Working in an all female NICU, Dawn has noticed the way women have been treating each other, and there’s a lot more work to do. She says we need to focus on “pick[ing] each other up and hav[ing] one another’s backs,” rather than tearing each other down. Dawn says approach is everything, and we need to be approaching one another differently. Rather than being cruel to one another, which she has witnessed greatly in her workplace, she wants to see a change where women support and congratulate one another. Competition can be very positive, but the way that Dawn has seen it recently, it can be an ugly thing to witness.

It was so interesting to hear Dawn talk about being a people pleaser and living out of others’ expectations. However, once she became a mother, she realized that needed to change. She realized that if she cannot advocate for herself, how will she ever be able to advocate for her child? How will she be able to take care of another human being if she isn’t taking care of herself? Of course she is still making progress, but by sharing her fears so candidly, she’s able to continue her journey through this. She refused to let other peoples’ expectations of her control the way she wanted to raise her children, and it’s quite admirable.

Lately, Dawn has been peeling back her layers and is discovering new parts of herself. She is aware that she needs help and needs to continue to discover herself, no matter how difficult it may be. She says it has been a humbling experience and is still figuring things out, but even the smallest ounce of progress is better than not even trying. Her advice, which I will be keeping with me, is to make a hard day a good day; it’s all about the approach. You can’t help if others want to accept what you bring to the table, but no matter what happens, you can always bring kindness.

The F.E.E.L Podcast 10/24/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 10/24/22

Episode 4 - Women’s Health Empowerment with Sera from Clay Health

By Jessica Garrison

It’s always reassuring to catch a glimpse of the impact the F.E.E.L podcast makes by sharing the voices of others in a different way. The guest we have for this week’s episode is a great example of that, because she is the first one who our host and creator, Melissa Crook, had not known prior to filming. The two met through social media and share a passion for bringing women’s voices to the forefront of difficult conversations. Our guest, Sera, is the founder of Clay Health, a comprehensive lifestyle health delivery network that aims to “mold the healthcare experience for women.” She shares her story of a health crisis she experienced at a young age and how she’s shifted her life to a healthier form that includes more than just her physical health.

Sera describes prioritizing self care as an “evolution.” It’s very specific to her needs in the moment as well as the needs of those around her, particularly her son. She became a mom right before the pandemic hit and has had to adjust her life to that struggle. Regularly looking at her schedule, Sera sees what time she has available, how much of it she’s putting into her work, and how much of herself she is giving to pursue her dreams. She doesn’t feel guilty about the time she takes for herself anymore because it helps her be more creative, which therefore helps her achieve the goals she sets. Sometimes it takes a while for us to understand this because of society’s pressure to always be on the move, but the sooner we recognize this, the sooner we can become our best selves.

It’s quite emotional to hear Sera share the story of her health crisis, especially at an age where you’re still figuring yourself out. However, it was after her struggle that she decided to leave her job in finance to pursue something she was actually passionate about. She was no longer willing to risk her health, which means all parts of her health: spiritual health, emotional health, physical health, and mental health. Sera is quite a captivating storyteller; it’s refreshing to hear people talk about chasing their dreams despite the obstacles they have to overcome. It’s a nice change of pace from the fantasy we see on television.

Considering her past, Sera deeply cares about her physical and emotional health, as well as taking care of both of them equally. After suffering from her health crisis, she wanted to prove to those around her that she was better, and by doing that involved abusing her body. She would continue to work herself as a runner to prove she was healthy. She also describes her journey with chronic pain. With doctors trying to convince her the pain was in her head, she didn’t know how to handle everything that was going on with her body. Now, she makes it a point to take care of her mental health before her physical health, knowing things will fall into place much more easily for her. I really cannot do Sera’s story justice—listen to her explain and you’ll understand just how powerful her words are. Melissa agrees during the conversation that “your body is for you,” and that is a huge takeaway from this episode.

When it comes to supporting women, Sera describes it as so important and simple, yet difficult. Letting other women share their stories in a safe space is what will help us all with the support we need. She says that women don’t always need to be “fixed,” we just need to be heard and feel heard. Community is one of the most important things when it comes to women feeling supported in their everyday lives. By founding Clay Health, she opened the door to women being able to share their health stories in a world where it is difficult to seek help, feel believed, and be believed.

My favorite part of this episode comes towards the end while listening to Sera describe the unraveling of her layers. It truly never stops. They are complicated and scary and hurtful, yet it’s still beautiful to discover new layers of yourself. Everyone has these layers they have to uncover throughout their lives and learn to accept in order to grow as a person. It can be one of the most difficult things we have to do, but it’s beneficial in the long run.

Sera was always told she was “inspiring” after overcoming her health difficulties, which she says she hated. She says she isn’t brave for dealing with her health crisis and overcoming it—what she finds brave and inspiring is women who are able to share their stories, share their truths, and offer a listening ear to those who need it. I must say, however, that the way she speaks about her journey so candidly and unapologetically is truly inspirational, and I’m glad we are able to share her truth through this episode.

The F.E.E.L Podcast 10/10/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 10/10/22

Episode 3 - Hitting “Reset” with Amaris Garcia

By Jessica Garrison

Over the past three seasons, the F.E.E.L podcast has highlighted many ideals, and one of them is that you can always learn from hearing someone else’s journey, no matter how different they may seem from you. The guest featured on this week’s episode, Amaris Garcia, shares plenty of stories to help all of us grow as people. She speaks in depth about her experience with the COVID-19 pandemic and how she was able to take something positive from the experience. Her outlook on self care was transformed, which in turn, positively affected her life. It took a complete shift in the world for her to realize that if she didn’t slow down, she was going to completely burn herself out, and this realization helped to shape her into the person she is today.

The way she did this involved making subtle changes in her day to day life, rather than everything all at once. She also says that setting strong work boundaries changed her for the better. Amaris leaves her work at work instead of bringing it home with her, and it’s important to make up for the nights you do have to stay and work late. Amaris suggests the app Habit to others who may be struggling to keep an eye on their goals. I had never heard of this app before, but it definitely looks enticing: it’s free on the app store and offers a way for its users to focus on completing their goals throughout the day. I’m sure it doesn’t work for everyone, but if it’s free, I’d say it’s worth a shot.

When it comes to taking care of her emotional health just as much as her physical health, Amaris realized how much she admired the people who were taking the time to invest in themselves, and she wanted to achieve this as well. She says that she takes more time to pause and reflect during the day and acknowledges what her body needs rather than keeping the “go, go, go” mentality.

On the podcast, we believe in supporting others through their journeys to self discovery and self care. Amaris gives a warm response to the question of how she supports other women in taking care of themselves. It’s important for her to share the message to others, especially women who have been told how they need to act in order to be happy in life. As women, we’ve been taught to tear each other down, when we should be working together to achieve our goals. I agree with Amaris that we need to stop judging one another and take care of each other, reminding those around us when they need to take a rest.

Another thing that Amaris spoke about that I enjoyed was traveling. She’s been to over a dozen countries, and she encourages others to explore the world as well, but it doesn’t have to be to the same extent as her. She acknowledges that not everyone may have the opportunity to branch out incredibly far, but even going someplace you’ve never been before can help open your mind.. She also says that getting out of her hometown helped her find herself as a person; it was a way for her to be able to do what she wanted to do, rather than what was expected of her. Everyone deserves the opportunity to be able to live the life they want, instead of continuing to do what others’ want.

One last story that I loved from this episode was when Amaris and Melissa talk about relationships and how some of them need to end for the better of both parties. Not every relationship is meant to last forever, which is an idea that I continue to struggle with. When I lose someone in my life, I look at it as a sad thing because something must’ve gone wrong for this to happen. But in reality, some relationships are meant to be short, and that’s okay, too.

Amaris gives a lot of credit to her parents for becoming the incredible woman she is today. She describes them as amazing leaders throughout her life who continue to bring her back to her values and make sure the decisions she makes align with who she wants to be. Fun fact: one of my favorite episodes from the podcast actually comes from Amaris’s mother, Christy Martinez Garcia, who was the featured guest for the 14th episode of F.E.E.L. These women are a powerful reminder of the quote: “Here’s to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.”

The F.E.E.L Podcast 9/26/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 9/26/22

Episode 2 - Getting to Know Yourself with OUR OWN Micaela

By Jessica Garrison

Getting to know yourself after spending most of your life just trying to please other people is a long and difficult journey that we’ve discussed often on the podcast. No one is on the same path to self discovery, so it’s always interesting to hear others speak on what they’ve experienced along the way to finding themselves. Micaela, the F.E.E.L podcast’s social media assistant and research coordinator, shares how she’s grown through the years and how she continues to work towards becoming a healthier person.

Micaela speaks often during this episode about her relationship with God, and how that has helped her become the person who she is today. She describes how she didn’t have her own sense of self before devoting her life to Christ, but now that she has, she feels much more secure in everything she does. It gives her confidence to know that a higher power is looking out for her and guiding her; Micaela knows she’s never alone when things become difficult.

When addressing how she handles boundaries, I thought Micaela gave a very unique answer, which was that “boundaries apply to everything, not just relationships.” She finds that her boundaries show up more in the world of social media. Since she is the social media assistant for the podcast, she has to balance the time she spends online, especially when it’s so easily accessible and necessary to exist. Whether it be for work or for personal use, it’s empowering to hear Micaela talk about the control of what she sees, how much of it she’s viewing, and how it affects her.

Another part of this episode that really resonated with me was when Micaela recalls being told she was a “sensitive” child. For some reason, this word is typically used negatively when referring to people, though the world could use a lot more sensitivity in my opinion. People mistook Micaela’s empathetic nature as a weakness, which she has since relearned as a positive trait. She enjoys sharing these stories as a way to help others who may have been through something similar to her; she wants everyone to know that it’s okay to be who you are, and you shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed of that.

Micaela says that her way of supporting herself, as well as other women, includes being a listener: “You can always learn something from another person, especially if you haven’t walked in their shoes.” She always wants to offer an open ear to those around her, which serves as further proof that empathy is an admirable attribute, rather than something that is a hindrance.

Identifying as a Christian is the biggest reason Micaela is the person she is today. Everything she does and believes stems from her faith, but she shares that despite how strongly she feels about this, it isn’t an easy path to be on. She used to be lost with how much judgment there is in the world and wasn’t sure what her true character was. As a result of this, she is exceptionally proud of her growth while still understanding there’s room for improvement. She has also described herself as a huge people pleaser, but she continues to make decisions that make her feel fulfilled, rather than others. By opening up her mind and allowing God in her life, she can confidently act as her own person.

Micaela is still working on accepting all aspects of herself; she says that introversion will always be part of her, but she wants to come out of her shell more. I’ve learned from her that you can still love yourself while wanting to improve. The world doesn’t have to be black and white—we just have to be willing to understand that not everyone is on the same path as us. The best thing we can do is be sensitive and understanding, like Micaela.

The F.E.E.L Podcast 9/13/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 9/13/22

Episode 1 - WE’RE BAAACK - Welcome to Season Three of the F.E.E.L Podcast

By Jessica Garrison

Welcome back everyone to the third season of the F.E.E.L podcast! We are all so excited to return and continue sharing the stories of the incredible figures that surround us. We have so many new features coming your way, including an expansion of social media platforms and a newsletter that will give a sneak peek to upcoming guests and topics.

To kick-off the first episode of the new season, Melissa sat down with her staff—Germaine Jeanty, Charlotte Feehan, Micaela, and myself—to discuss our time off in August. It was nice for everyone to take a break and make time for things that they may not always be able to do. And it’s even better to come together and get to share and listen to those stories. We shared something we loved over the break, something we’ve learned, and something we look forward to in our lives.

We’ve seen Germaine on her journey of moving into a new apartment, and she’s finally all settled in. Now that her new place is more organized and is starting to come together, she is loving the space that she’s worked hard to develop. However, she shares that it comes with patience and compromise, especially when living with another person who has their own habits and ideals. But even through her journey, it’s nice to hear her say, “I feel good, I feel healthy, I feel comfortable.”

Meanwhile, Charlotte has been loving her travels over the course of the summer and experiencing what the world has to offer. It was also interesting to hear her discuss her other work endeavors, and what she’s learning in her new environment. I think Charlotte relates to a lot of people when she says what she’s learned is to be more comfortable with reaching out and asking questions—I know she at least relates to me when it comes to that.

For me, I spoke about the upcoming Autumn season (my favorite) and how everything from the weather to the fall scents to Halloween nourishes my soul. I always look forward to the festivities every single year. In addition to this, my first “grownup” wedding is happening soon, and I’m so thankful to be able to share in the celebration with my friends. It just reminds me of the wonderful memories I’ll be making in the coming months.

Micaela shares the knowledge that she’s learned over the past month, specifically about social media and living her life as she wants it. She discusses the “glamorous” side of social media that may not be as truthful as one would like to think. Rather, she’s choosing to believe that she’s where she’s meant to be, and letting herself live freely in the present of the moment, which is a sentiment we can all learn from.

Our host and Embracing Layers creator, Melissa, has had an eventful August to say the least. She opens up about coming back from her time off to discover, without rhyme or reason, she didn’t have a job anymore. It’s been an emotional and frightening time for her, figuring out how to move forward in an unforgiving world. But her positive outlook on life allows her to continue to thrive in any situation she’s in. Melissa, along with the rest of the staff, excitedly looks forward to moving the podcast forward and seeing what other opportunities lie ahead.

We want our listeners to know that the F.E.E.L podcast has also decided to add a “donate” option to help continue our journey. If you can’t donate, that’s okay! Feel free to share our podcast to ensure the growth of the Embracing Layers community; we’ve been working hard on expanding across various social media platforms, such as Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, LinkedIn, and Facebook. It is not expected but is very much appreciated. Thank you for coming on this journey with us, and here’s to another amazing season!

The F.E.E.L Podcast 7/27/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 7/27/22

Episode 13 - Celebrating 1 Year Anniversary Of Being A Podcast!

Happy 1 Year Anniversary to us!!

As I mention as we kick off this episode, this podcast is the manifestation of a dream that showed up on a dream wall my husband and life partner Brady asked me to create with him on his birthday in the late winter of 2021. I’m not a big risk taker by nature, but this was, and I am so proud of myself, thankful to my family, and especially to my amazing staff who have been willing to come on this journey with me because it would literally not be possible without them. So major shout out to Valencia Saint Louis for being my first yes to this ride, followed shortly after by Abby Bekele. We have grown to also have Charlotte Feehan, Germaine Jeanty, Jessica Garrison, and Micaela come on this ride. Amazing people from all over the country bringing all of their thoughts, talents, and commitment to this endeavor. Thank you from the very bottom of my heart for trusting me and believing in what we do.

I mentioned some favorite sound bites in general, which was incredibly difficult because I love all of the conversations I’ve had. My favorite part of this episode was to hear my team’s favorite moments, how much they learn from and enjoy each other, and how these podcast conversations have impacted them. One of the unexpected blessings of this ride is the amazing young women I’m getting to work with, guide, and mentor, and then empowering them to do the same thing with each other, and how they are simultaneously learning from our guests as well.

This is a great opportunity to hear from some of the great humans we have had on the podcast in this first year that really left an impression on our team. We hope these sound bites will inspire, encourage, and just remind you of ways you can use this information on your own journey. In this episode we’ll revisit some of the wisdom shared by Tim Crook Shenkin, Sierra Crook Shenkin, Elle Christenson Woolwine, Stephanie Hunter, Helen Dorado Alessi, Jessica Garrison, Megan Manierski, Germaine Jeanty, Nicole Dinardo-Gray, Charlotte Feehan, and Dr. Lori Rice-Spearman.

I want to thank ALL of our guests from our first year, not just the ones mentioned in this episode because without them we’re not here celebrating our first year with you today:

Brady Crook, Kylee Crook, Courtney Crook, Valencia Saint-Louis, Abby Bekele, Danielle Demetria East, Joy Drake, Elizabeth Fisher Good, Kaley Ihfe, Megan VanStone, Christy Martinez-Garcia, Kristen Hovde Miller, Amy Stuart VanderMaas, Stephanie Fels Stout, Eileen Christenson, Taylor Christenson, Reilly Christenson, Caleb Ledford, Kayli Blankenship Scott, Meghan VanderMaas Ollis, D’Ann Wells, Jaime Wheeler, Clay Kennedy, Morgan Kirkpatrick, Morgan Bell, Brianna Campbell and Hakeem Rahim

We are going to take some time off from dropping episodes during the month of August, but we will be back with Season 3 in mid September with more great guests and compelling topics that we all need to be talking about. Thanks Listeners for being on this ride with us. Share with your friends and look out for us on TikTok, Twitter, Facebook, and Linkedin as we continue to expand our reach and share our message with women and people looking to have and hear these conversations as we continue to Find Empowerment and Embrace all of our beautiful complex layers!

The F.E.E.L Podcast 7/15/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 7/15/22

Episode 12 - Unapologetically Beyond the Box with Dr. Lori Rice-Spearman

By Jessica Garrison

The latest episode of the F.E.E.L podcast features a very special and accomplished guest. Not only is Dr. Lori Rice-Spearman the president of Texas Tech University’s Health and Science Center, but she is the first female president in the Texas Tech University system. On the podcast, she shares her true feelings with host Melissa Crook about the pressure she experiences both personally and professionally, and how she tries to manage it all.

When talking about boundaries, Lori relays that setting boundaries professionally is much easier than setting them personally. I love the conversation she and Melissa have about “adjusting to different seasons” when it comes to setting and respecting boundaries. What someone needs now may not be what they need later, and it’s okay to fluctuate your boundaries. They don’t need to be permanently built and are allowed to change based on your needs at the moment. Lori describes the communication she has with her husband where they both understand the need for seasonal changes in their boundaries. For example, the support she needed during the academic year after COVID-19 was not the same as it was in years past.

I have to say that my favorite conversation during this episode was when she spoke about being the first woman to become a president at the university. There’s an immense amount of pressure on her to do everything right, to prove that women belong in places of power. But she’s human, and no one should hold all of that pressure on themselves. Lori describes that although being the only woman at the table is difficult, she “decided to let that go and just be a leader.” It’s important to set an example and be a role model for others, but her being a woman shouldn’t define the whole experience. She is making a difference just by being there, and she’s proud to bring something new to the table. Lori is her authentic self, whether it be at work, at home, or out on the weekends with her family. What you see is what you get, and she’s very proud of that. She accepts these different layers of herself and is open and honest about them, which is arguably one of her most admirable traits.

Despite focusing on herself and the job at hand, Lori understands the importance of diversity: “Diverse voices need to be heard.” She and Melissa also discuss how important it is for young men to grow up seeing women in power and see women as leaders. It should be normalized for women and minorities to be in positions of power and the more people break down the barrier, the more regular it will become. Diverse voices mean diverse ideas, and the world would be a much better place if everyone was heard.

One of the most important tools for Lori to have in her professional life and personal life is communication. She is constantly communicating with her staff, her friends, and her family to provide the best experience for everyone around, including herself. She expresses her needs, priorities, and feelings with them to get everyone on the same page and working as a team. She says she “hires people smarter than her.” She doesn’t pretend to know it all; she allows others to help her and teach her things just as much as she does for them, which is something every leader should do.

Lori also shares a nonnegotiable thing for her, which is twenty minutes of movement a day, whether it be riding a bike, going for a walk, or anything that just gets her body in motion. That’s an important boundary for her that she sets and sticks to. Not everyone has to have a non-negotiable such as this, but for her, it’s the best way to stay healthy in both mind and body.

Dr. Lori Rice-Spearman has dozens of wonderful accomplishments, and it was an honor to have her as a guest on the F.E.E.L podcast. She provided amazing insight into her life and how she’s accomplished everything she has so far. I look forward to seeing her continue to move up in the world as well as provide inspiration for those around her.

The F.E.E.L Podcast 7/2/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 7/2/22

Dealing With Summer Body Expectations

By Jessica Garrison

When someone says the word “summer,” most people think of longer days, vacations, time off from school, waterparks, ice cream, and everything related to fun. However, in the back of my mind, I dread summer. It’s hot, which means I can’t hide behind an oversized sweater and sweatpants. It’s a whirlwind of trying to get into the perfect shape to wear a bikini and having your body look picture perfect. In the world of Instagram and social media, it’s even more difficult to live up to the world’s expectations. Body expectations affect everyone, but it’s especially apparent during the warmer seasons.

Women are judged every day just for existing it seems, but nothing is crammed down our throats more than having the perfect body. Women are expected to be slim (but not too slim), have big breasts (but not too big), have a big butt (but not too big). It’s absolutely impossible to make everyone happy, but putting this amount of pressure on people just sets them up for failure.

I was very fit growing up because I played softball eight months out of the year, but once I stopped around 13 years old, my body image plummeted. I gained weight because I wasn’t as active as I used to be, and I was embarrassed to show any skin. No matter how humid it was outside, I tried my best to cover up so no one would see my body. I didn’t even want to see my body. It makes me sad to think about it now because I just want to go back in time and tell that girl that she shouldn’t believe the negative things she told herself about her body—she can go out in a bathing suit to enjoy the summer without worrying that she’s going to be laughed at. It’s still a process to accept myself and my body, but I have to be proud of the progress I’ve made and continue to make.

One of our staff members, Micaela, shares her own displeasure with summer body expectations: “Although I have always been thin, I still struggled to love and accept my body. Not only did I allow the jokes that some of my peers threw at me to get the best of me, but I was also very insecure about the amount of hair on my body because I seemed to be hairier than the other girls around me.”

Despite her love for going to the beach and pool, she started dreading the idea of going to both because of her shyness and the possibility of being judged for her body hair. However, she did not let this stop her from getting into the water, and once she finally gained the confidence to get in it, she pushed herself to focus on having fun instead of what people may have thought about her.

It’s been a long time coming, but Micaela says that she has learned that she is fearfully and wonderfully made, and she intends to remember these words going into this summer season and beyond. She says, “I hope every woman who reads this remembers that you are also fearfully and wonderfully made, no matter what society may say.”

Not only do body expectations affect women, but men as well. If a man isn’t perfectly fit with a muscular body that is appealing to the eye, then they’re shamed for it. We say that men have “Dad bodies” if they have a gut or extra fat on their bodies. How can we expect anyone to have self-confidence when we’re constantly tearing them down for not being perfect? The truth is no one is perfect. Of course we all know that, but then why do we always give our two cents about what someone else is doing? We make assumptions about others and how they’re living their lives, which just isn’t fair.

For example, People think I wear a one-piece bathing suit because I’m insecure about my body. They tell me that I’m skinny enough to wear a bikini, but that has nothing to do with my decision. The truth is I’m much more comfortable swimming in a one-piece instead of a two-piece. If anything, that makes me more self-conscious of my body. No one needs to be making any comments about my body or what I choose to wear. Micaela also says she wears a one-piece bathing suit, not only for her own comfortability, but for her religious values as well. If someone is skinny, we assume they’re confident in their own skin and if someone is fat, we assume they’re lazy. It’s much easier to just mind your own business because you have no idea what reasons they could have behind their decisions.

The bottom line is if everyone ate the same foods and exercised the same amount on the same equipment, we would still all look different. I don’t think “fat” should even be a bad word—as long as a person is healthy, then who are we to judge? The world would be a much better place if we would be kind to one another and stop judging. My best advice is to dress however is comfortable for yourself, and confidence will follow. It’s much easier said than done to put yourself out there after years of doubt, but with time and practice, it will come. When we learn to stop caring what other people think of us, we’ll be much happier. Put energy into what makes you happy, and go easier on yourself. Reminder: you’re a beautiful human with a bright future, no matter what size you are.

The F.E.E.L Podcast 6/23/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 6/23/22

Episode 11 - The Nuanced Emotions of Mother’s and Father’s Day

Mother’s & Father’s Day is a cherished American tradition of holidays, and if you see the commercials, you get the message that everyone’s relationship with these holidays is whimsical, full of gratitude and love for your parents, the perfect joy of being a parent, and for how your kids (if you have them) celebrate you and your wonderful life together.

This is not to say that there are not people out there with this experience, but there are a lot of other emotions and experiences that go with this for thousands if not millions of people, but there’s no commercial or marketing campaign that talks about that.

What about the person who has an estranged relationship with one or both parents
What about the person who has lost one or both parents to death, or is a foster child who never knew one or both parents
What about the parents who have an estranged relationship with their child(ren)
What about the person who just miscarried or can’t get pregnant, or can’t have children at all, or their adoption just fell through, or they lost their child to illness or accident or suicide
What about the couple who does not want to have children, but the culture is constantly trying to make them second guess that decision
What about the person who has a great relationship with their children, but a more complicated relationship with one or both parents, which makes these very bittersweet holidays
What about the child who has lost a parent to disease or accident, or that parent left and they have no contact with them, or even know what to think of that relationship….are they offered another option when the rest of the class is making something for their parent for Mother’s or Father’s Day
What about the child whose parents are abusive, but feel the pressure to make the card or send the present because everyone else in the classroom is doing it

These are a few examples of what is not shown in the hallmark card commercial or marketing campaign.

The most fascinating thing that has come up as my staff and the people we have reached out to join this conversation is this: All feel like this is an important and timely conversation that needs to be had, but hardly anyone is comfortable participating in the conversation on a platform that will go out to the world. That’s how sensitive this conversation is. Most want to have it, and feel it’s necessary and important, and yet are very uncomfortable actually participating in it.

With all that being said, we’re having this conversation, and we hope it helps someone or maybe several someones feel like they’re not alone in the complex emotions Mother’s and Father’s Day can bring up for people. We’re going to use our talking points to guide us as we figure out the best, healthiest way to navigate this, and I sincerely hope this will be helpful.

We invite you to join us for this conversation that my husband Brady so graciously joined me for, and even if your relationship falls into the “Hallmark” category, it might give you some insight into those people you know who don’t share that same experience.

The F.E.E.L Podcast 6/11/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 6/11/22

Episode 10 - Weaponized Gratitude - What is it and When Does it Appear?

By Jessica Garrison

I’ve been wondering for a few days how I was going to start this blog because there’s just so much to say about weaponized gratitude. I could tell stories for hours about being both a victim and a perpetrator in this, and everyone on this week’s episode agreed that there could be several episodes about this. In this episode, Melissa Crook, Charlotte Feehan, Abby Bekele, and I discuss where weaponized gratitude shows up, how it affects people, and what exactly the term means.

If you’re confused by the phrase, weaponized gratitude is the act of making someone feel guilty for not feeling grateful, and using gratitude as a way of diminishing other feelings that someone may be experiencing. I’ve known about this feeling and these experiences for a while, but I never had a word to use for it. I, like many others, have been dealing with this for years. Growing up, I had felt so guilty. How could I possibly complain about little things going wrong in my life when other people in the world have it so much worse than me? It’s been a process to unlearn the invalidation that’s been burned into my brain, but being able to speak to others about similar situations has really opened my eyes to how often this happens to people.

Charlotte opens up about experiences with her grandmother who has a “different attitude about gratitude.” I’ve definitely seen weaponized gratitude show up more so in the older generation rather than the younger, as Charlotte describes. She brings up an interesting point that I’ve never thought of before: weaponized gratitude shows up overwhelmingly in faith related situations. She mentions this while talking about her grandmother, and how she accuses her of not being grateful for what God has given her. This is a tricky situation because as she describes, of course she’s grateful. She never said she wasn’t, but that doesn’t mean that she can’t feel a certain type of way about something. You can feel proud of yourself for accomplishing a task, while still being dissatisfied that there’s more progress to make. It’s possible to feel more than one emotion at a time.

Abby describes how she’s seen weaponized gratitude show up in the workplace. Being a minority in the corporate world is full of this practice. People want her to be thankful for being in the position she’s in. Abby expressed eternal gratitude for being able to do what she loves and be around others who are similar to her, but she also worked hard to get there. She should get the treatment she deserves, as should her coworkers, rather than settling because she’s lucky to be in her position at all. You still have to fight for what you want, for what you deserve, and for what you’re worth. People throwing it in your face that you should be grateful for what you have aren’t looking at the big picture, and without it, it’s easy to get taken advantage of.

During this episode, I discuss my major feelings of guilt when the COVID-19 pandemic started. Millions of people were sick or dying. Meanwhile, my family was perfectly healthy; we didn’t have the struggles that other people had during those times. However, I still found myself to be severely depressed in quarantine. I thought I was a terrible person because I had feelings of stress and sadness during a time where so many others had it worse than me. It was difficult to deal with these feelings; I didn’t even want to say them out loud for the fear that someone would throw in my face how lucky I was to be in my situation. I was very thankful—I still am. But that doesn’t mean I can’t feel upset or angry at what was happening. I’m glad I had this opportunity to openly discuss these emotions and have others say they have been in my shoes as well.

I never would’ve imagined projecting these feelings and thoughts out to the world, but it was refreshing to hear what everyone brought to the table. Weaponized gratitude shows up in so many situations, but I think the most important thing to remember is your feelings are completely valid. You can feel more than one emotion at a time, and that is what makes us such wonderful, complex human beings.

The F.E.E.L Podcast 5/28/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 5/28/22

Episode 9 - Embracing Mental Health in Black Communities with Brianna Campbell and Hakeem Rahim

It was my great honor and privilege to hand the mic over to my original staff member and believer in the mission of this podcast, Editor/Producer Valencia Saint-Louis. She walks through the mental health journey of the Black Community and the community as a whole with Brianna and Hakeem in such an eloquent, thought provoking, honest, empathetic, and vulnerable, as well as practical manner. I am so beyond pleased that we get to share this with you.

You do not want to miss this week’s show notes and sources from these 2 phenomenal guests. They have such great information and sources to offer all of us. They really are a must see.

In this episode they discuss how Mental Health can serve as an access point for deeper healing, as well as how it’s the intersection of different areas of wellness and performance as a human being, including mind, body, spirit, and social factors.

Brianna and Valencia touch on the fact that Mental health is not something you “came down with”….we all have mental health, and the negative stigma it tends to carry in society and culture needs to be addressed.

Hakeem very openly and vulnerably shares about his own mental health journey with being diagnosed with Bipolar disorder in 2000, and the importance of how his parents handled it and showed up despite the stigmas around mental health they were surrounded by. He shares how he has used his mental health journey as a catalyst to share and do work around this to help others in their journeys. Hakeem shares that he continues to have a great family support system and tools to help on the journey, and how fortunate he feels to have that.

He addresses that communities of color and black people are hurting and need to heal, deserve to heal, that healing is their right, so it’s important to move aside the shame and stigma in families, and that is something that needs healing in the collective community.

This group discusses how wonderful it would be if the black community felt empowered and understood the tools available, how different the personal and collective experience would be.

They address the barriers that get in the way of this happening, why the stigmas and fears exist in the Black Community; the trust that has been violated historically that makes vulnerability feel costly, unsafe, and not something that can be shared freely.

Hakeem shares an acronym that he uses with the word SEE - ShareEducationEquipping. He talks about the stereotype belief that Black men should not cry, need to be the warrior, and all of them discuss what all of this surviving and protecting with no mechanisms to process emotions and feelings for men and women, or the tools to deal with these things, is costing in terms of health and quality of life.

They talk about their wish for Black community to understand that everyone needs an emotional education and foundation. Brianna talks about how she would love for the Black community to create a pillar and foundation of emotional health and wellbeing including:

Stress tolerance - being able to work and soothe your way through something difficult
Be able to name emotions - most people start with “I think” rather than really knowing
Identify how the emotions they are feeling are being felt and experienced in their physical body
Because the Black community has lived life in survival mode, there’s not been room left to think about, process, and move through emotions
If they are willing to make this a priority then each generation can progressively enjoy more peace, contentment, and emotional awareness

Hakeem shares how he had to get over that “just wanting to get over it” mentality, and accept that you still have to tend to your mental health throughout life, that it’s a journey, and we are one part of this continuum. He shares his belief that “If I heal I’m making it better for somebody that comes after me”. It’s not selfish to heal and take time for self care.

Hakeem states the most profound thing in an episode full of profound statements, “We’ve been hurting for so long, we don’t even realize we’re in pain”. Wow! He continues that the Black community, “needs to go on this healing journey, we are missing something that’s getting in the way, “I have a right to be well, I have a right to be whole”.

Valencia touches on how “self care is selfish” is widely predominant in the culture as a whole, especially amongst women, women who are Mom’s, women who feel responsible for putting everyone else first.

As they discuss what tools, resources, and practices are available and accessible to the community, Brianna emphasizes that there needs to be a sense of inclusion, of us all being at a “Round Table” and shares the resources that she uses herself and recommends to others.

Hakeem sheds light on the importance of recognizing that there’s Personal Choice - deciding that this is not my life and making a choice that I’m going to get better and stay well.

Valencia remarks on how we talk about healing through the shadow or the fog, but she finds that what is not spoken about as much, is that healing by going through the light can also be part of the journey as well, including doing things that are nourishing for our souls.

This group goes over what Allyship looks like for each of them; the importance of acknowledging privilege, that our system was set up for some groups to have more privilege than others, to own and acknowledge the truth of that so we can all heal and move forward to live as the interconnected humans we were created to be. They talk about the importance of Empathy instead of Sympathy, not wanting anyone’s pity, but instead the sense of “I’m standing with you, I’m for you, and I’m going to show up for you and with you, and we’re going to move this needle and make things the way they should be together.”

They talk about the intersection of Physical, Mental, and Emotional Health and how they’re all connected to one another. They speak about how they’ve all had to journey to the understanding of that connection because historically these aspects of health have been looked at as separate entities; the layers involved in this, how to recognize them, and address them for optimal health.

Boundaries are discussed, and how they need to be understood and reflected in each of our lives, and the effect that has on their health and wellbeing and the health and wellbeing of their relationships.

There are so many important nuggets shared in this conversation that we all need to hear, know about, and practice how it applies to each of our lives. It might be the conversation I’m most proud of that we’ve had here at The F.E.E.L Podcast and I urge you to listen, take notes, and most importantly not miss it!

The F.E.E.L Podcast 5/21/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 5/21/22

Episode 8b: Being an Educator in Uncharted Times

By Jessica Garrison

Last week, The F.E.E.L podcast featured three educators who openly discussed their experiences during the pandemic. They shared their doubts, their hardships, and how they are still overcoming the uncertainty of this time in their lives. This week the podcast hosts educators Kayli Blankenship, Morgan Bell, and Nicole DiNardo-Gray as they share their stories. Similar to last week’s guests, these amazing women discuss their journey with prioritizing self care, setting boundaries, and taking care of their physical and emotional health.

Self care is a core topic of the podcast, and it’s always interesting to hear what it sounds like to others versus what it sounds like to me. We’ve said before that self care is actually a selfless thing because when you take care of yourself, you’re able to give the best version of yourself to others. This is even more true when it comes to teachers; they’re expected to give so much of themselves to their students, and it can be quite draining. The women in this week’s episode agreed that you have a right to rest, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about needing to take that time for yourself.

It’s important for everyone to remember that self care doesn’t look the exact same across the board. My favorite quote from this episode comes from Morgan who says, “[self care] is about finding things that feed your soul.” Self care isn’t always the stereotypical bubble bath and face mask, but it could be. It could be going for walks, painting, yoga, reading, or anything that makes your body feel whole and nourished. The point is that it looks different for everyone, and no matter what your self care love language is, don’t be afraid to express it.

Not only is self care about treating yourself, but it’s also about setting boundaries. Everyone had something to say about this topic because setting boundaries is something we learn for ourselves, rather than being taught. Kayli shares how she began resenting how much time she was dedicating outside of work because she wasn’t setting proper boundaries for herself. I thought that word was perfect for the scenario because she doesn’t necessarily dislike her job or dislike the work she’s doing, but there’s this disdain for how much time it’s taking up that should be spent doing other things. You have to figure out what you are willing to do for your work and what you are willing to sacrifice to get the job done. Some people are willing to do and sacrifice things that others won’t, and that’s okay. It’s all about you and what you can live with at the end of the day.

After setting the boundaries, sticking to them is essential. Nicole says that she works to live, not lives to work. Her words really resonated with me because I’ve grown up with the idea that your job is the most important thing and you should be willing to do whatever it takes for your job. I’ve been trying to change this mindset in my life when it comes to work. It’s easier said than done, but knowing that other people struggle with saying “no” brings a sense of comfort; we’re all in this together, and the past two episodes have definitely shown that.

There was a lot of self doubt that existed before the pandemic, but it was magnified during the lockdown. Everyone questioned whether or not what they were doing was enough for their students, while also trying to take care of themselves and keep their energy up for them. Not only did teachers have to adjust to students going completely online during the pandemic, but then they had to readjust to students coming back into the classroom. They had to reteach students how to be students and had a very small transition period. I graduated from college before it came time to experience the transition period back into the classroom, but I was kind of glad I didn’t have to. After two years of working a certain way during the pandemic and accepting this was the new way of life, I can’t imagine having to be expected to ignore what happened in the past and go back to the way things were before. Teachers are never going to get out of this loop, and they are expected to produce results when it comes to testing and students’ success. They constantly have to change how they approach their job, while also considering the impact it’s going to make on the community.

These challenges have been existing for the past two years, but I personally never thought of them from the perspective of my educators. I’m grateful for the opportunity to listen to these three women speak on what they’ve been going through with the pandemic, and I hope their words of wisdom help listeners gain new insight, as they have helped me.

The F.E.E.L Podcast 5/14/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 5/14/22

Episode 8a: Being an Educator in Uncharted Times

By Jessica Garrison

The past few years have been anything but normal for everyone, no matter your background or geographic location. But having to adjust your whole career’s structure within a week is a new level of stress that I could never imagine experiencing. Educators not only had to adjust to a new environment of working at home rather than working in a school, but they had to adjust the way they’ve taught students for years. Students who may not be as good at adjusting as others, or students who saw going to school as an escape, who no longer have a place to go where they feel safe. The added pressure of making all of those students successful is an intimidating hurdle to conquer, and we want to shed a light on those who have accomplished the impossible.

The first part of The F.E.E.L Podcast’s teacher appreciation week features educators Amy Stuart VanderMaas, Clay Kennedy, and Morgan Kirkpatrick. The three of them come from a variety of areas of study, age, background, and school districts; they offer their personal experiences with the 2020 school year and all the adjustments that had to come with it. With social distancing, remote learning, and mask mandates becoming widely politicized, it was difficult enough ground to cover as a student—I can’t imagine having to be the adult in charge who is also under the scrutiny of parents and a school board. The three of them share their journey and the lessons they learned while teaching during the pandemic.

The biggest takeaway I got from listening to these incredible people talk is that leaning on one another and supporting one another was essential to getting through these trying times. Despite all of the differences in their experiences and how they handled the situations, this they could agree upon. No one knew better what they were going through than the educator next to them, and knowing you are not alone is part of the confidence we all need.

Morgan talked about her experiences at home and how she never “turned it off.” When you have your schooling at home, it’s a difficult boundary to establish. It used to be so easy to decipher where your work life ends and your personal life begins, but with remote work, that line continues to get blurry. Melissa said it perfectly during this discussion: “[Home] is supposed to be my rest place, but it is no longer feeling restful.” Each person has to figure out how they’re going to divide up their time when they’re working from home and discover the boundaries for themselves. I’ve been learning this over the last few months as the featured blog writer, while still trying to balance my writing and my free time. I would say this conversation was my favorite part of the episode because even if you aren’t an educator, this topic can resonate with anyone, specifically those who work from home and are trying to find a balance.

Another lesson that was imperative to learn after the pandemic was saying “no.” When everything is available at the touch of a finger, you have to respect the boundaries you’ve created for yourself. Otherwise, your mental health will suffer for it. Teachers are such relied upon individuals that Clay stated he would feel guilty for saying no to certain events. He felt that he wouldn’t be asked unless he was truly needed, so he felt like he had to keep saying yes or else he wouldn’t be good enough. It’s a deeply emotional toll it takes on a person to have such a weight on your shoulder. I really admire Clay for acknowledging the struggle and speaking openly about it.

While sharing stories of how this profession and its changes have had an effect on their emotional and physical health, Amy shared her story that I found quite interesting. She said when the mask mandate was recently withdrawn, so many of the kids continued to wear their masks, which she found unexpected. The difference between her region and the others’ is that she worked with a lot of minorities and those who don’t come from a strong socioeconomic background—this observation speaks volumes to the understanding that we don’t know what other people are going through. Amy’s attention to detail in the classroom helps us realize how important our differences are and respecting them can only unify us more.

Everyone learns differently, so to suddenly be forced into a specific environment where you might not feel the most focused, the most safe, or the most calm, can affect your learning ability. But there wasn’t a choice with this. Educators just had to make the adjustments and try to help their students in the best ways they could.

I believe that teaching is one of the most admiral jobs a person can have. They are responsible for the education and growth of young people and have the power to change them in profound ways. I’ve mentioned before that I have a teacher who inspired me to be a writer, and I’ve had countless others who encouraged me to follow my dreams along the way. Without them being positive figures in my life, I know I could never be where I am today. I’m sure everyone has a teacher they look back on fondly and can thank them for their future in some capacity. It’s kind of a magical moment when you realize how much one profession, one person can have an effect on you. Thank you to Amy, Clay, Morgan, and all of the teachers out there who have changed the world for the better. We appreciate you.

The F.E.E.L Podcast 4/25/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 4/25/22

Episode 7: A Life of Growth & Care with Jaime Wheeler

This episode idea was actually brought to me by someone who works on Jaime’s team at the nonprofit she and her husband direct together. This member of Jaime's work team had become a follower of The F.E.E.L Podcast and messaged me via Instagram with this idea. The funny irony in the whole story is that I actually know of Jaime because her nonprofit is one of our partners through my day job with the Volunteer Center of Lubbock. When I let this person that had suggested Jaime as a guest know where I worked during the day, we had a chuckle at what a small world this is, and how incredibly grateful I am that she brought this idea to me. I also then wondered, how in the world did I not think of this myself, but that’s the beauty of shared ideas and being open to our listeners suggestions. So, if any of you our followers have suggestions, message us on Instagram @embracinglayers or email us at embracinglayers@gmail.com. I say that because I would have hated to have you all miss out on this opportunity to hear from Jaime if her friend had not been willing to send that suggestion our way.

Jaime said a lot of really wise and important things in this episode, so get your pens and paper ready, but there was one message that stuck out to me above all else, and that is that she is Here to Participate versus Consume, meaning she does not want to be a passive consumer in her life. What a striking message and self awareness, and given the work she does in the community, in her relationships, and in her life, you can definitely see this as the compass she has used to direct her.

People in her life describe her as having a contagious drive & spirit, a person who carries herself with joy, is a natural leader, and is committed to being a peacemaker. She also carries an innate strength to keep seeing the good. I would argue that without that last sentence it would be difficult, if not impossible to do the work she does in our community, which encompasses a great amount of heartbreak along with a great amount of breakthrough, healing, and victory. She carries that juxtaposition with empathy, humility, and a sense of reality, never wavering that this is the life she has grown into and was meant for. She is a 7 on the Enneagram, which is really no surprise as you listen to her and how she operates and walks through her life and what and how she cares for people and causes. See her resources information on our website for more information on the Enneagram if that is not something you are familiar with.

Jaime has several preventative and restorative practices in her life that sustain and fill her up, and important resources in what she reads and consumes that guide that path as well. You’re definitely going to want to check out the sources she cites on our website as there are very impactful resources that you may want to put in your toolbox as well.

I’m going to end with another statement she made in this episode when we were discussing embracing the layered aspect of ourselves that really stuck with me as well, and that was “Do I value more layers, or the depth of my layers?”.

Think on that this week, and make sure you don’t miss out on this episode with Jaime Wheeler!

The F.E.E.L Podcast 4/10/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 4/10/22

Reflecting Upon Seasonal Depression

By Jessica Garrison

It appears that spring has finally sprung! Despite allergies kicking in and moving wardrobe to and from the attic, it’s a wonderful part of the year to indulge in. Spring is the season of rebirth, and you might notice a change in your emotions and mental state as the flowers begin to bloom. Well, there’s a reason you’re feeling this way, and you aren’t the only one with questions about it.

Mostly known as seasonal depression, seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a common form of depression that tends to appear in people during the winter months and fades when the weather starts to change. This is something that I have personally dealt with for years, but I didn’t know exactly what was going on until I went to college. Just like other forms of mental illness, seasonal depression isn’t always brought up as an important topic of conversation. However, there’s been a fight to end the stigma surrounding depression, and it is certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

Symptoms of seasonal affective disorder are similar to major depressive disorder, though they tend to get better once the winter months end. These symptoms can include feelings of sadness, loss of interest in once enjoyed activities, oversleeping, loss of energy, and difficulty concentrating. It’s more likely for this to begin showing up in people between the ages of 18 and 30, particularly in women, though men experience SAD as well. If you do see yourself reflected in these symptoms, it’s important to reach out for help or talk to a medical professional. Your emotions could just be a result of the season, but it doesn’t hurt to make sure you’re not experiencing something more severe that you could need help with.

In my experience, I can feel it in my body when the seasonal depression is kicking in. Just stepping outside makes me sigh in misery, and I have no desire to participate in anything. Not even taking part in activities that nourish me sounds interesting; I’d rather just disappear under a pile of covers until I can hang up my winter coat for the year. It’s a long few months to get through, and every year feels a bit different, so it can be hard to prepare. I know these feelings are going to happen, but it’s impossible to stop them from coming. Still, I’ve found that even if you can’t stop them completely, there are ways that you can help yourself push through the dreadful winter.

Believe it or not, you can trick your body into thinking it’s summertime, which can help relieve your seasonal depression symptoms. Sitting in front of lights (light therapy), keeping the shades open during the day to let the sunlight in, participating in social activities, and going for walks or other physical activities can reduce symptoms of seasonal depression. Taking antidepressants or vitamin D capsules can also be helpful during this tough time, but speaking with your doctor about that first would be best in deciding which route will be most helpful for you to take.

The best time to reflect upon seasonal depression is right after it’s over when you can feel your body and mind making these changes. It’s now the time of year where I smile when I go outside and breathe in the fresh air; my whole mood has transformed. I suggest journaling about what you were experiencing each time around to be best equipped for the next winter, so you can compare your emotions from season to season and see what remedies worked best for you during those difficult times.

It’s less common for people to be affected by SAD during the summer months, but it’s still possible. So if you experience these symptoms during the summer but not during any other months, then don’t dismiss them. SAD could be affecting you, too. My advice remains the same, no matter what season you may be experiencing the depression. What’s most important to remember is that you’re not alone. I used to never understand why I would feel this way and why it was so intense when it got cold outside. But now that I understand where these feelings are coming from and why it’s happening, it is so much easier to deal with. I wish I had known about the seriousness of seasonal affective disorder earlier, but now that I do, I’m happy to share the information with others to be able to cope. We’re all free for another winter, but sooner or later, it’ll be time to go through those old journals and create habits to take care of ourselves. There’s no time like the present to learn more about your body and its needs.

All scientific information from this blog comes from the American Psychiatric Association. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, whether it is related to SAD or not, do not hesitate to reach out for help. Some resources are listed below.

Depression Hotline: 1-888-640-5174

Websites:

NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness

SAMHSA: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

ADAA: Anxiety Disorders and Depression Association of America

The F.E.E.L Podcast 3/29/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 3/29/22

Episode 5: Courage, Clear Boundaries, and Love for Yourself Daily with Germaine Jeanty

I want to start out by saying that I love all of my varied, far ranging conversations that I get to have with amazing people around our talking points. I always come out of an episode feeling like one of the luckiest people in the world that I get to have these conversations and share them with the world. This conversation was no exception. She is wise behind her twenty something years, and shares authentically about her lived experiences. Get your pen and paper out when you get ready to listen to this conversation, because you are going to get to learn from our new Assistant Podcast Editor (and so much more), Germaine Jeanty.

We talk about the courage it took to move halfway across the country, and how once you’re out of college, you’re expected to all of a sudden make adult decisions about your life when there’s no formal training prior to that; to differentiate between what you want to do, or if you’re just doing what others expect or want you to do. We talk about how making those decisions teaches you how to trust yourself, and that you can’t start trusting yourself until you do in fact start making those decisions.

We talk about the importance of never betraying yourself and your own boundaries, and how you have to first honor your own boundaries that you’ve set, before you can expect others to. We talk about being the youngest of 5 daughters, and what it’s been like becoming an adult when her older sisters still want to see her as the youngest baby girl in the family; the importance of her being clear about her boundaries and expectations around that as she has moved into adulthood. We talk about what “clear and direct but kind” looks like and how she will bounce that off trusted friends when she’s looking for feedback.

We talk about the impact her Mom’s trust of her regarding decision making growing up, and how that gave her that taste of freedom and respect she needed to be able to step into the shoes as an adult, being confident in her ability to make good choices and decisions for herself.

We discuss that just because you sometimes need to apologize for how you delivered a message, it does not mean that the message was wrong, and being clear about that as well.

We talk about not invalidating people’s feelings in your relationships, and how to model that yourself so that others around you feel empowered to do the same. Just because you are fortunate to have a good job, does not mean that you dismiss the things about it that need to improve or be better. Just because your parents provide a physically safe home with food on the table, does not mean you have to just accept and be ok with them screaming at you. We can feel multiple emotions in any situation, and none of those should be minimized.

She shares that it’s ok to not always have a “life purpose” all the time, and it is good to enjoy life, have fun, and embrace the journey while you are figuring out what that purpose is. It needs to be fluid, as it will change as you move through different seasons of your life. “You don’t have to work miserably now to have fun later” is one of many wise tidbits Germaine shares in this episode.

Germaine talks about how she learned at an early age to talk herself through scenarios that she might be fearful and sad about, and how she would unpack it to figure out why she felt that way. We talk about what a gift it was to have the wisdom and ability of self reflection and analysis of her circumstances, and how that has served her so well in accepting all the layered aspects of herself, and in turn others.

Germaine carries herself with grace, wisdom, authenticity, confidence, and generosity. I have only known her for a short time, but can tell you I learn and appreciate something new about her every time we have an interaction. I can’t wait for you to listen to this episode as you get to meet Germaine. You will learn and be thankful that you did.

The F.E.E.L Podcast 3/25/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 3/25/22

A Women’s History Month Special: Female Podcasters

By Jessica Garrison

Every March we celebrate Women’s History Month, a time to look back at the groundbreaking work women have done over the years. The monumental efforts put forth by other women help us live the lives we do today as we continue to strive and make history.

When thinking of topics to write about for Women’s History Month, I kept coming back to the idea of podcasts (which is quite fitting), and women sharing their ideas in an open space. In the past, women’s voices have been silenced, unable to speak or live their truths. Meanwhile, podcasts are cemented in the Internet forever, becoming a part of their own history. There’s an unlimited amount of resources and content from diverse voices to hear. I’ve compiled a short list of podcasts—some from the resources list on the Embracing Layers website and some from my own personal lists—of podcasts that reach female audiences. Not only are these podcasts helpful to women, but they are also hosted and created by women.

Against the Odds with Cassie de Pecol and Mike Corey

During the first season of the F.E.E.L Podcast, the Christienson women were featured in the 18th episode entitled “The Art of Being There For Each Other with The Christenson Women.” Reilly lists one of her resources as the podcast “Against the Odds,” which talks about human resilience. This podcast reports incidents where people have to fight for their lives during unbelievable events. Despite all they have to encounter, they’re able to survive and share their stories with others. This inspiring podcast reminds us that we are built to not only overcome, but to thrive.

Dear Therapists with Lori Gottlieb and Guy Winch

Season two guest D’Ann Wells lists this podcast as a resource where two therapists discuss the struggles people go through every day. From guests who recall trouble with drug addiction to stories of romantic turmoil, this podcast really has something for everyone. Even if you feel like you’re alone in your situation, you really aren’t, and what a tremendous resource to have as a reminder of this.

Ladies Who Lunch with Ingrid Nilsen and Cat Valdes

I decided to list this podcast myself because of the variety of topics these amazing women cover. The two YouTubers approach uncomfortable topics in a nonjudgmental, welcoming environment. I love the conversations they have on this podcast, such as bringing awareness to different eating disorders and trying to forgive yourself for past mistakes. With almost 100 episodes of content to discover, there’s so much to learn from and so much to share.

Latino USA with Maria Hinjosa

This is another inclusion from myself that I think is important because of the lack of representation in the online world. This podcast has a female dominated team behind it and over 200 episodes, making it the perfect way to get news you may not have heard of and widen your perspective on what's going on outside of your own bubble. Their website also supports other podcasts that cover Latino topics and issues, which continues these conversations even further.

Now & Then with Heather Cox Richardson and Joanne Freeman

This podcast takes a historical approach to the classic medium, making its episodes so unique when it comes to their perspective on current events. When looking at what’s going on in today’s world when it comes to politics, environmental issues, modern developments, and so much more, these two women look back on the legacies of these topics and share their knowledge. It takes learning to a whole other level.

Only Human with Mary Harris

I wanted to include this podcast on the list because of its focus on health. In today’s world, healthcare is a difficult thing to navigate, and nothing ever seems easy. As the website says, “everyone has a story,” and this podcast offers a safe platform to share others’ experiences on their health and obstacles they’ve had to overcome. Although a bit uncomfortable at times, this podcast is really making waves in the community and standing up for people’s health.

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Episode three of season two of the F.E.E.L podcast featured Megan Manierski, who added “The Happiness Lab” to her resource list. This podcast, hosted by Yale professor Dr. Laurie Santos, shares scientific research about true happiness and how it’s achieved. Of course, there’s no real answer to that question, but listening to her speak on topics such as anxiety, grief, and burnout can inspire a change in the way you perceive your emotions.

I am a firm believer in empowered women empower women, so sharing these resources and other podcasts resonates with me, especially being on a podcast team full of intelligent and passionate women. Let’s continue to praise and uplift each other every single day for many years to come!

The F.E.E.L Podcast 3/13/22 The F.E.E.L Podcast 3/13/22

Episode 4: New seasons, New Expectations with D’Ann Wells

Women in your 30’s and 40’s juggling a career, partner, kids, friendships, and finding a minute for yourself, take heart. This week’s guest is doing all of that too, and has some great insight on how she’s navigating this that I think you all will really find helpful, encouraging and supportive. Twenty somethings, listen and take notes, Fifty somethings and above, find a woman in this season of her life that you can support and lend an ear and some encouraging wisdom to, and I think you’ll hear some good insights for your own life as well.

My favorite thing about this week’s guest, D’Ann Wells, is that she is great at taking and accepting people right where they are at in that very moment, and creates a safe place for people to land. She is a person you feel right at home with immediately, and is one of the most genuine people you’ll ever meet.

D’Ann has learned by listening to her own body, and recognizing from her environment growing up, what is serving her well, and what needs to be changed, and has done it in a way that still feels respectful and accepting of the past versions of herself, while fully owning that change became necessary to allow her to be the best version of herself today.

We discuss how her physical body gave her indicators over the last few years so that it was necessary to utilize self care, and that starts with basic things like enough good food, water, and body movement incorporated into her day. We touch on the fact that you can be doing “good” activities but not have it feel like self care at all if you’re not present in that moment, so make sure to stop and breathe and ground yourself so you can actually benefit from that time. D’Ann brings up that she had to change her thinking about Self Care as she was raised in a culture where it was put on the back burner by the adults around her with a “we’ll stuff this and deal with it later, in retirement, when not taking care of everyone else” attitude.

For D’Ann Boundaries are like a guardrail, giving her protection from taking on or doing too much. She points out that boundaries don’t have to be big extremes, they can be smaller things, like “how am I making space for myself today”. D’Ann has a great practice in place that really sets the tone for her boundaries that goes like this…If someone asks her to be part of something, she does not give an answer for 24 hours so she can think it through to make sure it's a good fit or not. That gives her time to assess and evaluate before committing to something, and is a great example of one those “guardrails” she has in her life.

Regarding Emotional Health and Physical Health, we talk about how the basic things we need most tend to be what gets put on the sideline first…Getting good sleep, drinking water, nourishing body with good food are all practices that help us process emotions in a healthy way, and really inhibit us from doing so if we don’t have those practices in place.

D’Ann is an external processor so uses journaling, thinking through, and naming emotions as tools so she has a handle on what it is that needs to be worked through.

We discuss how she’s now seeing mindfulness and meditation showing up in her kids as those things are talked about in school now versus not being discussed when she was growing up, and how empowering that is for all of them. She’s also recognizing how seasonal changes affect her and being ready to deal with that when that season arrives.

D’Ann is a natural at supporting herself and other women in living unapologetically. She’s adamant about making sure she doesn’t put her relationships with other women on the sidelines, and recognizes how nourishing it is for her to take the time to think about how she can affirm and lift herself and others up. That may sound like a lot to take on in this busy season of life that she is in, but states it can be as simple as being clear and kind on where she’s at, and asking how she can support the women in her life in this season. This can be by sending a check in text, or making a phone call. It's also important to make sure we are not the first to help but the last to ask for help, and that if you can mirror being willing to ask for help, it gives others permission to feel safe doing the same.

D’Ann believes you need to set a few core values in order to create the life you love. You really get 3 big things that you can realistically live by, and these will change in different seasons in life. That change can be disorienting but is so important to understand and know that it’s ok for these to be fluid. Two to three core Values give you a framework to determine what does and doesn’t fit, provides a good scaffolding, and the structure of them really actually provides freedom, and shared language and framing with your partner as you are moving through life.

As D’Ann has worked through living out of her own expectations versus others, she has found her way by sifting through others’ cultures and expectations and determining which ones really belong and align to her and her partner and children. She’s learned there can be resentments waiting to happen if you are living by others’ and not your own, and that it’s necessary to have clarity of what your own expectations are. This then sometimes forces you to define where boundaries are needed based on what your expectations are versus some others in your life. This can feel heady and weighty to take the time to evaluate, but it’s so beneficial when you do.

In Accepting the Layered Aspects of herself, D’Ann is recognizing her growth over the years, and points out the importance of giving our past selves grace knowing that we were doing the best we could at that time. That can mean recognizing our Shadow self, how we think about ourselves and talk to ourselves, and owning that and making adjustments through therapy, and setting new habits when necessary. We discuss how when we were both growing up we did not see women having these conversations, and are realizing how we’ve shifted from belief systems we grew up with, but that does not mean the people we love have shifted too, but learning to still being able to love and accept ourselves in that former way of thinking and those that are still there. We also touch on how acknowledging our own growth and changes allows us to have grace and understanding for others and their layers. When we can do this with ourselves it enables us to go deep and keep finding different layers and connections with people currently in our lives, as well as the new people we connect with. This also allows us to take the space to evaluate our relationships and where they’re at. We talk about how during this pandemic time we’ve really been invited into that, as well as assessing what do we actually want now and what and who are we willing to give our time to.

This was such a far reaching, authentic conversation that I think women and people of all ages are going to be encouraged by, and I think you’ll learn some great nuggets of wisdom as well. I hope you will join us to hear from my friend D’Ann Wells.