Episode 20 - Holistic Healthy Movement with Cari Vann

By Jessica Garrison

A few words to describe our next guest are compassionate, uplifting, grateful, and loyal with a strong sense of faith. Cari Vann is another wonderful guest who Melissa met through PodMatch (PodMatch, where would we be without you?) and I’m so glad the two of them met for this important conversation.

Cari has the utmost respect for people, but she knows this should be extended to herself as well. Self-care is a lifestyle, conscious choice, and a recognition of the love you have for yourself. For Cari, something as small as enjoying the quiet time to herself in the morning is a form of self-care; it doesn’t have to be anything that takes up a lot of time or energy.

When talking about boundaries, Cari revealed that they are her number one form of self-care. She thinks about them when it comes to all different aspects of life, such as her time, business, or family. Clearly communicating is one of Cari’s biggest assets, and I agree that you can’t have healthy boundaries or relationships without communication.

As we know from listening to dozens of women talk about their experiences, the mind and body are not separate. Cari Vann is so dedicated to this topic, using her expertise of over 25 years in the health and wellness field to help other women get on the right path. Just like self-care, you don’t have to do strenuous exercise to feel well in your body. Even something as small as stretching can help Cari slow down and listen for discomfort in her body. There isn’t a quick fix to feeling comfortable in your own body and mind, but Cari shares great advice, such as starting with a simple breathing technique to set you up for long-term success.

Cari is so passionate about what she does, and she supports other women in living unapologetically by sharing her knowledge and support. She’s created an inclusive community where there aren’t toxic comparisons or judgments. It’s just about helping women live the best life they possibly can.

As I mentioned with Cari’s character traits, faith is very important to her. God is wrapped around her values and is pivotal in keeping her on the right path. This allows her to always come back to her Truth, and that has been crucial in this beautiful journey she’s been on.

When thinking of her own expectations versus someone else’s, Cari asks herself how she wants to spend her time. Her children are a huge priority for her, though it’s not always easy to ignore what the outside voices are telling you to do. She says it’s important to allow yourself grace as you navigate and shift your expectations as life goes on. Cari emphasizes that keeping your expectations realistic and reachable is one of the best ways to create a solid foundation for expectations.

Embracing your layers can be the most difficult part of the journey because you have to look at things that are uncomfortable. There’s a lot of work that goes into this, but it’s worth it in the end to live as your authentic self. This in turn affects cultivating healthy relationships through F.E.E.L—it’s about your relationship with others as well as the relationship you have with yourself. It is not just about the relationships you have with others, but also the relationship you have with yourself. There’s a greater level of compassion for others when we’re self-aware, and it enhances our emotional intelligence.

Cari has such a strong sense of self, and I really admire all of the incredible things she does for women. There’s something for everyone to take away from her episode, no matter what differences there may be in your lives. Cari’s resources will be posted on our website with helpful links and information. She also has her own website available for anyone looking for extra help in taking care of their emotional and physical health.

Ways to Engage: Think of some small ways you can get your body moving throughout the day, such as breathing exercises in the morning or taking extra time at night for stretching. Record how you feel before and after these exercises and try them for an extended period of time. Take notice of any differences you may feel and how this is affecting the relationship you have with your mind and body.

Episode 19 - Building in Breaks with Lexy Leigh

By Jessica Garrison

This week’s episode is a really special one for us at the Embracing Layers Network because it is our 100th episode! We have the perfect guest to celebrate our milestone: Lexy Leigh. If you listen to our radio show, Lexy has been a guest before so she might sound a little familiar. Lexy describes herself as empathetic, genuine, kind, and intuitive, all of which have a hand in the incredible journey she’s been on.

A huge part of Lexy’s self-care routine is building in breaks. Rather than working herself through lunch and being burned out by the end of the day, she allows herself that time to reset. I can attest that building in breaks can help your productivity, and you’re not so resentful towards your work. Journaling is another self-care technique that is close to Lexy’s heart. She’s the creator of her own journal, which allows others to detail their journey in a physical format.

Boundaries came up unknowingly for Lexy. There was a shift for her when she realized she needed more peace and quiet in her life. When she became a stepmom, she realized what was important to her and how she needed to prioritize her family. Learning to live with other people can be difficult, but by communicating her boundaries, Lexy can take care of everyone in her family (including herself).

It’s refreshing to see that mental health is being talked about more openly, and Lexy is a huge advocate for this kind of support. Too many people have suffered in silence, and we want to end that cycle. In her past, she had ways to keep herself happy, but they weren’t the healthiest outlets. Now, she has her journal to write down all her thoughts and feelings; she can also look back on her old ones to compare to where she is now and see her progress.

For women around the world, especially minorities, it’s tough to get your foot in the door at a professional level. It feels almost instinctual to blame the person who got the position over you, but if the boss is only promoting one woman out of the group, then the issue is with a bigger system that doesn’t allow for more representation in the business. Because of Lexy’s experience in this world, she encourages support to any woman who is accomplishing her goals in any area of her life. I think she was the perfect guest for our 100th episode because she is such an incredible role model and supports women in living unapologetically every day.

While discussing her why and values, Lexy said, “We teach people how to treat us,” which is such an important point to make. Realizing what you stand for is a pivotal moment in your values journey, as well as realizing what you will accept and what you want your personal brand to be. Lexy speaks to this throughout the episode and shows just how crucial it is.

Lexy is still on a journey to living out of her own expectations versus others’ because of the difficulty of finding a balance, especially with work. However, she shared her experiences of seeing people taking more and more from her when she was willing to give just a little. Whatever decision is right for her is the one she’ll choose, then whoever is unhappy can take it or leave it.

Each layer makes us who we are, whether we consider them good or bad. However, we try not to see the layers as labeled because each one makes us who we are, whether we like them or not. Lexy describes the difficulty of putting in the work when someone else in her life hasn’t. We all have a journey we have to go on, but at the end of the day it’s our own life and we have to make the changes if we want to see change.

In her F.E.E.L journey, Lexy looks forward to more growth and is excited for what’s to come. She’s also thrilled for others in her life to see how they will grow and evolve as the years come. There is so much to learn in life—it’s a never-ending classroom.

We want to thank Lexy for being such a fantastic guest for us to feature on our 100th episode and thank you to all of our supporters who have tuned in over the past 6 seasons. We look forward to strengthening our community and sharing the many ways it means for us to embrace our layers.

Ways to Engage: Lexy is a huge fan of journaling and uses it as a tool to record her thoughts, emotions, or whatever is on her mind. Try journaling for a few days or even a week and see if this is an effective route for your journey. Write about what you’re feeling, what tasks you have to complete for the day, or whatever comes up when you start writing. If you enjoy it or find it useful, continue journaling so you have something to look back on over time.

Episode 18 - Unapologetically Full of Herself with Sarah Moore

By Jessica Garrison

Normally when we hear someone say they’re full of themself, we’re immediately turned off. However, by the end of this episode, I think everyone will have a different idea of what it means to be full of yourself. Sarah Moore is an intuitive, fun, and intimate woman who has so much knowledge to share with us this week.

Sarah didn’t know what self-care even looked like for the longest time, and this ended up affecting her relationships with others. She didn’t feel right in her body, which caused her to pick fights with those she was closest to. As she learned what it meant to truly take care of herself, her son was also there to help her heal and develop patience. No matter what activity shows up as self-care, Sarah knows it’s all about what makes her feel good.

For Sarah, the root of boundaries is worthiness, and I have to agree with her on that; boundaries come from a place of self-worth. For example, if your job wants you to do extra work for less money, do you hold your worth as an employee and turn it down unless you’re going to get paid what you deserve? However, you have to pick and choose your battles sometimes, and Sarah understands that boundaries can exist in the gray and need to have context. There’s so many layers to this conversation, but I think Sarah does an incredible job of speaking her truth when it comes to boundaries.

Although talk therapy can be quite helpful, Sarah also believes in moving the body and exerting some of her emotions that way. Your body is your permanent home, so it’s important that you engage it with exercise and activity as well as engaging your mental muscles. All of it comes together to keep your body a safe and healthy place as Sarah has astutely discussed during this segment.

Like I mentioned earlier, bragging has a negative connotation, but Sarah is trying to change that. She’s full of herself because she loves herself, and there’s nothing wrong with being proud of your accomplishments. Just as she wants to share her accomplishments, Sarah also wants to hear from other women who have done incredible things. Along with sharing the positives, it’s important to share the negatives as well. We can learn from each other’s mistakes in addition to learning from our own. Being honest and vulnerable is scary at first, but it’s also liberating to share your story.

The “why” can be tricky for Sarah, especially as a business owner. There’s a lot of overthinking when it comes to that area of her life, but Sarah knows she wants her life to be about maximum service. She can still say no to things with this mindset clear in her head. She still doesn’t know what she doesn’t know, and saying no to one opportunity could lead to a yes for another.

Sarah has always had high standards for herself, which I’m sure a lot of us can relate to. She also had high standards for others, but she says this was born out of judgment. After experiencing her own struggles, such as bullying and alcoholism, she’s quicker to grace and compassion rather than judgment. She has the tools to live out of her own expectations rather than others, even on the days when it seems impossible.

There’s still so much for Sarah to learn about herself, and she’s come to realize that “layers are gorgeous.” She wants people to remember the power of AND. I can be brave AND scared at the same time; two different emotions can exist at the same time just as our layers exist within each other. If we remember that, then we’re able to show ourselves more empathy as well as experience a sense of power.

This has been one of my favorite episodes of the season so far (maybe because I couldn’t stop agreeing with everything Sarah was saying). She made such eye-opening remarks, particularly about boundaries, that I think will be helpful to so many women. Let us know if you agree and check out Sarah’s resources for more information that can help you begin your journey!

Ways to Engage: What do you think of Sarah’s efforts to change the negative meaning of bragging? Think about this question again after listening to her episode as well as any positives or negatives that may come with this. Sharing your accomplishments (and defeats) may just be the change you’re looking for when it comes to self-esteem and self-worth.

Episode 17 - FEELing It and Healing It with Jennifer Moore

By Jessica Garrison

Trigger warning: eating disorder

Our guest this week is the empathic, wise, curious, fierce, and generous Jennifer Moore. Despite any past frustrations, Jennifer has grown to understand herself better and shares her story of embracing her layers as a highly sensitive empath.

Growing up, Jennifer was always told she was too sensitive or her imagination was overactive. These words affected the way she took care of herself, turning to self-destructive behaviors such as using drugs, alcohol, binge eating sugar, and dating harmful people. These actions controlled her for some time before she said that enough was enough, and her journey was able to truly begin.

Boundaries always sounded like a word that was rigid or firm, and Jennifer didn’t know what healthy boundaries even looked like. She wasn’t comfortable saying no (as many of us often aren’t), but Jennifer brought up a great point while discussing how she’s found healthy boundaries. We cannot control how people act, but we can control how we react to them. If someone is disrespectful towards Jennifer’s boundaries, she’ll ask herself, “What will I tolerate?” If they don’t want to respect her boundaries, she can’t make them, but she can walk away from someone who doesn’t take her seriously.

A huge step in Jennifer’s journey was the realization that she’s an empath. Rather than carrying every single emotion, she’s able to sort through which emotions are hers and which belong to other people that she’s been carrying as her own. She’s learned to breathe deeply and send the emotion to where it belongs, and that has helped tremendously in her own journey. Listening to her speak about carrying other people’s worries is so important because so many of us do this, even if we don’t realize it.

While talking about supporting women unapologetically, Jennifer shared the idea that it’s not us versus them; we’re all in this together. As she lives authentically and shares her truth with the world, others see Jennifer in action and are willing to follow her example. She’s such an inspiration when she speaks, it’s hard to not follow her lead.

Jennifer’s need to help people is also wrapped up in her why and values. She knows what it feels like to struggle, and she wants others to experience the relief she has. Jennifer has written a book entitled Empathic Mastery and even has a new one coming out soon that helps to explain why people are so sensitive. She’s able to share her message with the world through her work, and there’s no need to wait before living life as your authentic self.

Jennifer’s been able to accept her layers by reminding herself, “It’s not me. It’s not about me” in relation to ancestral trauma. Our last guest, Antonia, also spoke about ancestral trauma, so if this is a topic that interests you, I highly suggest listening back to Antonia’s episode. Jennifer’s come to recognize that some of the pain or emotions she was living with weren’t necessarily from something she’s experienced, but rather from something that’s been passed on to her. It’s the layers upon layers that contribute to who we are, and Jennifer has been able to enjoy life and take it in as she learns to embrace everything that makes her unique.

Jennifer is bringing a new meaning to the word empathetic, something that we should all strive to be. She reminds us through her words and her work that emotions give us strength rather than weakness.

Ways to Engage: Have you ever been told you’re too sensitive? I certainly have, and I think most women can agree. Think about when you were told you were too sensitive and how that affected you. Who said it to you and what was the situation? Offer yourself grace and kindness as you comb through harsh words that affected you and think about how you can reclaim them as your own. Share with us your thoughts on being empathetic in a world that tells women they’re too nice or too sensitive. 

Episode 16 - Shedding the Layers of Discomfort with Antonia

By Jessica Garrison

Melissa is joined by the remarkable Antonia this week, a woman with integrity, unity, compassion, anger, and shyness. Her character traits shine through her complex, beautiful layers, and she’s a joy to listen to on the podcast.

Self-care became a survival and evolutionary tool for Antonia. She’s found that self-care can contribute to your whole self, as long as the activity is nourishing to you. By taking some time out of your day for self-care, you continue to provide care to other aspects of your health.

Realizing that your emotional health is connected to your physical health is half the battle, but Antonia has been making strides in these areas of her life. Something as simple as putting nutritious food in her body so she’s able to keep up with her mental health. This, in turn with providing proper self-care, allows her to keep up with the crazy world we live in.

Antonia looks at her journey from a historical perspective, which was so interesting to listen to. I have heard stories from other women who agree with this perspective, but Antonia did a wonderful job of explaining everything in detail. One example she used was the fear of abandonment, which can flow through generations of people. We carry a lot of weight from past generations without even realizing it, and it can affect the way we live our lives currently. Antonia will ask herself questions such as, “What reality do I want to create?” This allows her to have more control over her own life rather than feeling helpless to what her ancestors have experienced before her.

However, it takes a lot of work to reach where you want to go: “In order to connect, you’ve gotta see all your stuff.” Antonia relates this back to her why and her values because you’ve got to dig deep to understand why you are the way you are. It isn’t always a negative thing, but it can be daunting to look back at something you haven’t thought of in a long time. Antonia has been able to accept her experiences and choose love, freedom, and compassion.

On her journey, there have been many years of shedding shame, but Antonia has had the pleasure of healing herself as well. She wants to share everything she’s learned with other women and assist them in healing themselves, too. It isn’t an easy journey to self-healing, but the payoff is totally worth it.

When it comes to accepting her layers, Antonia expresses the importance of doing your own work first rather than doing the work of others. Whether it’s because they don’t know how or aren’t willing to try, it’s a lot easier to embrace your own layers before trying to make someone else embrace theirs. There’s still a community full of support and love, but we have to do some of the work ourselves on this journey.

Antonia is still exploring how her relationships are affected by finding empowerment and embracing her layers, but that’s something that can be so fun. She’s still exploring herself, and new layers have shown up within her boundaries. Not all relationships will survive a person finally setting and sticking to their boundaries, but sometimes that’s okay. If they don’t respect you enough to listen to your boundaries, then those are the best people to let go of in your life. Antonia knows though that new relationships will continue to blossom, and those will be even stronger because they developed with your authentic self.

Let us know what you’ve learned from Antonia's episode, and I encourage everyone to take notes while listening! I have quite a few pages filled up in my notebook at home, and she gave us some great gems to remember from this episode.

Ways to Engage: Antonia talks thoroughly in her episode about generational trauma and how this can affect our current journey. Have you looked at your journey from this perspective? Why or why not? After listening to Antonia’s episode, consider using this viewpoint to journal or reflect upon how you are affected today by something from your ancestors. 

Episode 15 - Empowerment Through Balance with Puja Shah

By Jessica Garrison

I get so excited when we have other writers on the podcast, and this week, Melissa speaks with Puja Shah, a very accomplished author and ingenious woman. Puja describes herself as balanced, heart-balanced, and a truth-seeker, which she explains in further detail during her episode.

As a first-generation immigrant from India, to say there was a lot to balance in Puja’s life is an understatement. She had to balance two different cultures and languages, as well as her professions in yoga, teaching, and writing. It sounds overwhelming to begin with, let alone if you aren’t taking proper care of yourself. However, Puja has exemplified the importance of self-care, whether it be a major event or something small to honor yourself.

To Puja, boundaries are about what’s making her happy and what isn’t. When her boundaries come from a place of truth, they don’t seem as unmanageable or hard-hitting. If something doesn’t align with her happiness or truth, she’s learned that it’s okay to say no because it can be detrimental in the long run.

While most of the women on her mother’s side are in the medical field, which can cause a lack of physical or mental wellness, Puja’s grandmother set a great example of nourishing her body and soul. Puja mentions the importance of addressing the emotion you’re feeling before acting upon it, otherwise, you won’t be tackling what is most important. Women should feel the freedom to trust themselves and their bodies without thinking they’re “too emotional.” Emotions are completely normal, and we should permit ourselves to immerse ourselves in them.

When it comes to supporting women, Puja is interested in creating a dialogue, having meaningful conversations, and creating a community of like-minded women to support one another. She also wants to share the message of expressing emotions to her children. Even as adults, we sometimes act out in anger or frustration, but we get angry at children for “throwing tantrums.” Sometimes they don’t have the right words to express what they’re feeling. So, she works on allowing them to express what they are feeling and share it in a way that works best for them.

Puja’s why and values are very important to her, which leads her to the answers to some difficult questions. One example she shared of this comes from publishing her book, and her publisher wanted her to write a sequel for it. However, this particular project wasn’t calling out to her. Rather than agreeing to something that didn’t feel right, Puja stayed true to herself and worked on the book she wanted to write.

Being a first-generation immigrant comes with a lot of expectations, and they’re not necessarily your own. As most of us do, Puja wanted to please everyone, but she found that what others wanted was not pleasing to herself. She was trying to prove not only her worth but her parents’ worth as well. Living in a country that is critical of immigrants is a challenge already, let alone when you’re not white or a man. It’s a lifelong journey for Puja to live based on her own expectations, but we can see she is constantly raising the bar for others to follow her lead.

While on the journey of accepting her layers, different identity questions, along with certain adjustments as life changes, would come up. An example she shared came from becoming a mother, and this allowed for more layers to be uncovered. Reminders of the past may not always be the most pleasant, but learning from them can help you continue to grow. Living out F.E.E.L. helps Puja be a better wife, mother, daughter, and friend. Living life as her authentic self has helped her get this far, and it will continue to reward her as her journey continues.

Puja has her own website if you’re interested in learning more about her and her award-winning book. Puja’s episode is full of so much wonderful content, I hope everyone else enjoys listening to it as much as I did!

Ways to Engage: It’s so important that Puja mentioned the expectations that fall on her shoulders, especially as a first-generation immigrant. What are some expectations that have fallen on you, maybe even because of a stereotype? How do you defy these expectations and live out of your own? Think about the expectations you set for yourself and how you’ve come to set goals for yourself. Feel free to share your experience with us, along with the ups and downs of your journey.

Episode 14 - Creating Capacity Through Energy Awareness with Ann Hince

By Jessica Garrison

There is so much to learn from our guest this week, Ann Hince, who showcases her intelligence, strength, courage, and kindness throughout the episode. There’s always something to learn from the amazing guests we’re able to feature on the podcast, but you’re going to want to take some notes this week.

There are various levels to our self-care needs, and Ann is always looking at an inner level when nourishing her soul. When Ann was only 19 years old, she woke up to find her mother deceased on the bathroom floor, and her emotional past was constantly affecting her (as it would anyone). It wasn’t until she was in her 30s that she decided enough was enough, and she had to start taking better care of herself. Ann is a prime example of it never being too late to begin your own journey.

Boundaries evolve and change as we do, and Ann has had quite the life of growing. She lived in Hong Kong with her family when she was 9 and then went to a boarding school in England where she was the only girl at a boy’s school…how she managed that is impressive on its own. Now that she has sons of her own, she shared some past emotions that have worked their way back into her life. However, she has a brilliant technique that helps her understand her emotions: EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), also known as tapping. Ann describes her discovery and use of the technique, and it’s something I really want to explore. I also couldn’t help but share what she said with some friends who have expressed feeling helpless with their emotions—it can be a life-changing tool.

When her journey began, Ann says she didn’t have any self-awareness. Layer by layer, she’s been working towards a life where both her physical and emotional health are being taken care of. She shares an example of being consumed by the thoughts of something another mother told her, and she knew that wasn’t normal. A doctor helped her work through a couple of instances with tapping, and it transformed her life so she was able to decompress some of the tough emotions that weighed on her. Ann is always searching for other women who use the same techniques as her so she can share, learn, and continue to grow.

By writing down her emotions and documenting her journey, Ann is releasing a barrier that allows her to share her story with others. She asks herself questions such as, “How am I feeling?” and “Do I want to feel this way again?” This is a way we can bring our emotions back to ourselves and have more control over our lives. If you don’t like the way you’re feeling, what are things you can do so you don’t have to feel that way again? We can’t do this for all of our emotions of course, but it’s a way to chart which actions are responsible for which feelings you may be having.

Ann is an empath, so she’s constantly being pushed and pulled by other people’s energies. Living out of her own expectations has changed her family dynamic for the better; no one knows your family better than you do, so overcritical outside voices don’t help. Although she’d take someone’s real concerns into consideration, overall Ann wants her life to be powered by her own energy rather than someone else’s.

There are many layers within each aspect of ourselves, and Ann says it’s better to be more curious about them than afraid, which I definitely agree with. Discovering your layers can be a little scary, but it’s also exhilarating to continue finding things out about yourself. If we keep pushing down our layers, the energy there becomes trapped with nowhere to go. Not trusting herself caused changes Ann didn’t want to see, but embracing her layers changed everything in a way where she could see all the progress she made and continues to make.

Ann has her own website if you’re interested in learning more about her or her techniques. There is so much gold in this episode that we haven’t even scratched the surface of; I can’t wait for everyone to listen and share their favorite part.

Ways to Engage: Ann talks throughout the episode about the importance of understanding your emotions and working through them. Take some time to write down your emotions, even labeling why you’re feeling this way and when it occurred. This can be pivotal in understanding patterns and behaviors associated with your emotions.

Episode 13 - F.E.E.L in Action with Michelle Shekhinah

By Jessica Garrison

Trigger warning: abuse, sexual abuse

Melissa is joined by Michelle Shekhinah this week, a woman who is courageous, resilient, caring, empathetic, and full of love. After reading the blog and listening to her episode, you’ll agree that these character traits fit Michelle perfectly. However, some of the conversations can be triggering, so we want to make sure everyone is safe before diving into this sensitive yet incredible conversation.

Michelle reminds us how important self-care is in this episode, and it challenges us to understand our emotions. Depending on what season you’re in, it could affect your self-care routine, and Michelle has come to realize the significance of educating yourself on what you need in relation to what you’re feeling. There were many factors that caused Michelle to start focusing on her self-care, but it’s never too late to start the journey towards taking better care of yourself.

Michelle comes from a boisterous family and, being the youngest, boundaries didn’t really exist. As she got older, it seemed impossible to set boundaries for a multitude of reasons. Not only did she not have the experience, but she began experiencing abuse from her husband after 18 years of trust. Michelle’s story has so many beautiful yet complex layers to it, and I appreciate her courage in sharing her story with us.

Over the recent years, Michelle has found ways to express herself physically and mentally, helping to heal her inner turmoil. After COVID quarantines, her nervous system was greatly affected, which I’m sure many of us can relate to. Along with certain breathing tactics, Michelle’s physical and mental health has improved considerably.

In supporting women in living unapologetically, Michelle has a lot of experience to educate and help women. Michelle’s story includes some heavy experiences, such as being secretly drugged, taken advantage of, and manipulated by those closest to her. It took resilience to get herself out of the situation that no one deserves to find themselves in to begin with. Michelle says that if it doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t right, and she encourages everyone to trust their instincts. If this conversation isn’t too triggering for you, it’s quite impactful to hear from Michelle herself.

Michelle’s “why” is engulfed in her many layers, such as always choosing love, putting her children first, and valuing her spiritual self. Although it’s important to Michelle that she is a kind and understanding woman, her trust had been betrayed too many times for her to not be cautious, and setting boundaries to ensure this can be quite difficult; it’s a reminder that the journey always continues.

People’s expectations of Michelle don’t always match hers, especially after coming out of a traumatic situation. People tend to tell others to “get over it” or expect everything to go away after a magic number of days, but as Michelle says, “If I could let it go, I would.” She uses a great analogy of rungs of a ladder or floors on a building to describe how she heals, and it’s a powerful way to look at your own progress.

Our layers can get quite complicated, and every choice we make affects us in some way. Michelle has learned to live not only for her present self, but for her past self as well. The people she allows into her life show her that they want to be there and continue to support her. Although many people may want revenge in this type of situation, Michelle is at peace, not wanting to hurt anyone. Those who harmed her have to sleep at night knowing what they did to her, and I think that really speaks to Michelle’s character.

I appreciate Michelle’s openness in telling her story and spreading awareness to other women who may be in a similar situation. Michelle’s resources will be listed on our website, and we encourage anyone who feels like they’re not safe to reach out for help. You’re not alone in your journey.

Ways to Engage: Michelle emphasizes the importance of educating yourself on your emotions to provide the self-care you need. Rather than trying to reuse the same self-care routine every day, try new things depending on your emotions that day. Write down what you’re feeling and how you want your body to respond to self-care. It could make all the difference in the world.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

National Human Trafficking Hotline: 888-373-7888

Episode 12 - Just Say “Know” Through “Voices From The Opioid Crisis” with Harris Insler

By Jessica Garrison

Trigger warning: Addiction, drug overdose

This episode covers one of the most difficult conversations to have but also spotlights a topic that needs to come to the forefront: addiction. Harris Insler lost his son in 2006 to a drug overdose, and he has since been admirably using his experience to help change the lives of others. Harris describes himself as physically active, an empath, a humanist, a stick-to-it guy, playful, practical, pragmatic, a learner, and a teacher.

There isn’t a guide to grief, especially when it comes to taking care of yourself afterwards. It’s easy to forget yourself in the midst of loss, and it took quite some time before Harris was able to step back and do that. Through this journey, Harris was able to find a community that supports him and gives a sense of understanding of what he’s been through with the loss of his son.

Boundaries are another demanding area to work on after loss. At first, Harris wasn’t open to telling his story, and that’s okay. It takes time to process information and consider your new reality, and not everyone is open to sharing every single detail. When the time was right, Harris wanted to actively support those who are struggling with addiction or have lost someone to it. His empathetic nature helped him see the bigger picture, but it didn’t happen overnight, which is important to remember.

Addiction can creep up on anyone, and Harris wants to have a variety of people share their stories on the subject. No matter your age, gender, ethnicity, or race, you can be affected by addiction and the opioid crisis. Supporting one another and sharing these experiences is part of the safe community Harris wants to create for anyone who may be struggling.

In his pursuit to help as many people as possible, Harris began speaking to schools about his story and spreading awareness. He explains his process during this segment, beginning with letting the students get to know him and then using a variety of tools and videos. The younger someone is when they learn about the opioid crisis and the way addiction can negatively affect their life, the better. Education is also key with adults, learning to look for the signs of someone who may be affected by this or is beginning to experiment with drugs.

Becoming a father supercharged Harris’s need to help others, and it shows in everything he does, from his careful actions to the gentleness in his voice. He has a true passion for people, revealing itself even further as he discovers his layers. Understandably, a lot of inner turmoil came with the loss of his son, and Harris started blaming himself. It took a lot of time for him to start granting himself grace and forgiveness, as well as beginning talk therapy to work through his emotions. Even if discovering his layers wasn’t part of the original mission, it’s become an asset to Harris’s ability to be so compassionate and forgiving.

This was another longer episode we’ve had from the F.E.E.L Podcast, but there’s so much helpful and incredible information that Harris shared with us, so we have to be sure to share it with all of you! This blog doesn’t even scratch the surface of the episode, and Harris’s story deserves to be heard by as many people as possible. His resources will be listed on our website, as well as Harris’s website and any other information you may find helpful while listening to this complex conversation.

Ways to Engage: Everyone has been affected by the opioid crisis or drug addiction in one way or another. We want to offer this platform as a safe space to share your thoughts, stories, or losses if this subject is a personal one. If you don’t want to post them, then we encourage writing down your emotions to at least acknowledge and express them, which can be pivotal in our F.E.E.L. journey.

Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration: 1-800-662-4375

Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988

Addiction Helpline: 844-561-0606

Episode 11 - Empowered Voices Through Strategic Assertiveness with Cara Tuttle Bell

By Jessica Garrison

Our guest this week, Cara Tuttle Bell, joins Melissa in talking about the double standards many women face, especially in the professional world. Traits that are praised in men are often used negatively against women, but Cara continues to use her voice to empower other women to live proudly and authentically. She describes herself as persistent, relentless, courageous, fair, and compassionate, all of which are clear to see after listening to her episode.

Self-care has been a journey for Cara over the last decade, but she has been making notable progress. One example she provides includes something as simple as making sure she eats a filling lunch so she has enough energy for the rest of the day, rather than skipping lunch to continue working and being burnt out later on.

We’ve heard from quite a few guests that setting boundaries in place can rub people the wrong way, even if you’re being completely reasonable. When people are used to getting what they want from you, there can sometimes be pushback for finally standing your ground. There are a lot of gems in this segment, and Cara brings much-needed attention to the boundary conversation. Sometimes you have to pick and choose your battles with people, and that’s something I’ve come to find out as well.

Crying was not rewarded like anger was growing up, and as Cara says, “Your body keeps the record book.” Your body falls into the routines you set for yourself, but your body can help you take care of yourself, too. Keeping up with your emotional health as much as your physical health comes from prioritizing yourself, and setting boundaries, as well as communicating these things to those around you. Cara gives strong insight into this talking point, and it serves as a great reminder of how knowledgeable and benevolent our guests are.

Cara dives into the complexities of supporting women in living unapologetically and how capitalism can affect us in this with who gets praised and who doesn’t. The system is set up against certain people, and Cara believes everyone has the right to speak their mind, share their ideas, and do so in a safe environment. The way she speaks is so eloquent and confident; I admire her for her strength and beliefs. This is probably my favorite talking point from her episode, so I’d love to hear any comments or thoughts our listeners have on this.

Although we all have days where we don’t feel productive or like we’ve “earned” it, it’s still important we allow ourselves breaks. Cara’s why is rooted in acknowledging the work she has done and saying, “I showed up and tried.” Even if it doesn’t feel like she did everything she could, she knows in her body and heart that she did.

With expectations, we think there are boxes we need to check off: married, children, career. However, just because the boxes are checked doesn’t equate to happiness. During this segment, Cara shares her struggles with divorce and life after saying, “I can’t keep living like this.” It’s a huge jump to make, but sometimes it’s necessary to find what we’re truly after in life.

Our layers are so beautiful, and Cara shares the importance of allowing space for those layers to exist. Instead of pushing them down or blocking them out, she’s seen the advantages of discovering herself. She has also found that once she really committed to living out F.E.E.L., the journey becomes more clear. She shared that there is no better feeling than knowing who you are and showing up authentically. There’s time that’s yours and space that’s yours, and listening to Cara explain this gets me excited for anyone who’s looking to begin this journey to living authentically. It’s a journey that will continue to grow and evolve, but the end results are so worth it.

This is one of our longer episodes, so there is an extraordinary amount of information to learn and ideas to work into your own journey. I suggest listening to Cara’s episode with pen and paper available to take notes because there’s so much to learn.

Ways to Engage: Cara mentions how the societal systems we live in can affect other aspects of our lives, such as our careers, financial situations, and even personal relationships. Are there any examples you can think of in your personal life or what you may have seen others experience that relate to this subject? Even if it doesn’t seem like it at first, if we continue to dive deep into these subjects, we can gain new perspectives and understanding of those around us.

Episode 10 - Finding Her Value Through the Infertility Journey with Lana Manikowski

By Jessica Garrison

It’s important to us at the F.E.E.L Podcast that we focus on the incredible and courageous women we’re able to speak to, including our next guest, Lana Manikowski. Her character traits include being willing, clear-minded, powerful, and capable. She joins Melissa for a conversation about infertility, a topic that isn’t usually spoken about but needs far more attention than it gets.

Lana’s major focus with self-care depends on how she wants to feel for the day. We’re always saying that different seasons require different things from you, and the same can go from day to day, depending on those specific needs. I’m glad Lana brought up this constant shift in her self-care and described how this works for her.

Boundaries have become very important for Lana’s emotional and physical health. Since Lana has a journey with infertility, she’s had to deal with people not always minding their own business. Boundaries became more clear to her when people would ask questions about having children and giving their unnecessary input. It’s no one else’s business if you choose to have children, whether it’s a conscious choice or out of your hands. This conversation is so important to not only listen to, but to have with others, and I’m glad Melissa and Lana are taking the time to bring attention to this. Their conversation also intertwines our talking points nicely and shows how connected everything is on the journey.

In supporting women, Lana says it’s important to “understand the story of yourself that you tell others.” She didn’t like the narrative she would provide when speaking about not having children, but she came to realize the power she has in her own life. I love that Lana also shared during this segment how impactful the words we use with ourselves can be, which has been mentioned in the past, but you wouldn’t believe how effective this can be.

Lana wasn’t used to feeling helpless, but infertility and treatment are completely out of your hands. No resources were given to her after she experienced this loss, and she felt alone. However, Lana wants to break this cycle and provide help to those who are experiencing the same thing. Her why is wrapped up in helping others, and this shows how dedicated she is to supporting women to live unapologetically.

Living out of your own expectations versus others’ can be difficult, especially when it comes to children. Society sets this precedent that all women should get married and have biological children, but we don’t live in that kind of world anymore. It’s a woman’s decision to get married and have children, and sometimes what a person wants doesn’t coincide with what happens. This conversation is crucial for women, we need to be normalizing these ideas.

Layers are an important aspect of Lana’s life, especially when facing this enormous obstacle in her journey. She didn’t feel connected to herself anymore and had to take the time to recognize her feelings. Asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of, and Lana shares her story of getting back to feeling like herself again in her own body.

Lana has her own coaching programs that she uses to support women in their infertility journey. There are 4 pillars she bases this on to help cover all of the multifaceted layers of this. Each case is different, but hearing Lana talk about this program, it becomes clear how passionate she is about helping women find themselves again.

I encourage everyone to check out Lana’s resources as well as engage in this conversation. It isn’t an easy one to have, but sometimes the most difficult topics are the ones worth discussing.

Ways to Engage: Infertility is more common than we think it is, with 1 in 5 women being unable to conceive in the U.S. according to the CDC. However, we don’t tend to hear a lot of conversations surrounding this topic. Why is that? Think about the pressure you have experienced as well as seen in others when it comes to having children. Feel free to share your thoughts and emotions on this multifaceted topic that I’m sure has touched each of our lives.

Episode 9 - Self-Care From the Inside Out with Michele Folan

By Jessica Garrison

Our fellow podcast friend, Michele Folan, joins Melissa in a transformative conversation about personal growth while staying true to who you are. Michele’s character traits include being persuasive, passionate, a perfectionist, a procrastinator, and a people person.

In the past, Michele thought she had to “earn” self-care, which I have definitely experienced before. We think we have to finish x, y, z to be able to treat ourselves, but taking care of yourself shouldn’t come with conditions—you deserve the best for yourself. Michele displays this perfectly, especially while discussing her self-care journey.

Worrying about external factors used to negatively affect Michele’s boundaries, and FOMO was a huge part of this. I’ve heard lots of people describe this feeling (myself included) and how FOMO can cause them to overwork themselves. However, it all adds up and you’ll definitely be feeling the stress later on, and Michele is able to share her experience in this.

Taking walks and prayer have been monumental in Michele’s journey with her taking care of her physical and mental health. Walking has taken care of the physical aspect of her journey, whereas prayer has healed the spiritual connection with her body. The way she describes this connection during the segment is quite inspiring and can be influential in getting your journey started in these areas.

Michele is a big believer that there’s room for everyone at the table, just as we are at the F.E.E.L. Podcast. Everyone has a voice that deserves to be heard, and we don’t need to tear one another down to fight for a spot at the table—we can simply add another chair.

Being true to herself has not only affected Michele’s why, but also the expectations she has for herself. It’s important that she is living her life authentically, a goal we hope to see every woman reach. Her journey in this has come with obstacles, but we’re able to see her overcome them throughout this episode.

When speaking about her layers, Michele mentions that she sometimes has imposter syndrome, which is a conversation I’ve had many times. If you haven’t heard of imposter syndrome before, you’ve probably seen or experienced it at least once in your life. Michele and Melissa explain it perfectly, and I’m glad it was brought up during this talking point.

Living out F.E.E.L. has helped Michele in her personal life. After starting her own podcast, Asking for a Friend, Michele has been having more meaningful conversations. Her elaboration of this will have you wanting to hear more from her.

Although Michele’s podcast is aimed toward midlife women, I still encourage everyone to take a listen. There’s always something new to learn and share, especially when going on a journey with yourself. Michele has done incredible work in supporting women through her podcast, and we appreciate all she does for the community.

Ways to Engage: Michele mentions how she doesn’t want to feel left out at times, and that has caused conflict with her boundaries in the past. Is there a time when you’ve experienced this as well? How did that affect your body and mental health? Next time this comes up, try making a list of pros and cons—prioritize what feels right for you.

Episode 8 - Make Your Passion a Priority with Dana Shamas

By Jessica Garrison

Our guest this week is Dana Shamas, an experienced life coach who offers coaching from an individual standpoint to group retreats in Costa Rica! She has so much passion for life, and her joy is infectious as you listen to her speak.

Self-care has been an evolution for Dana, just as it is for most of us. She recalls how she was exposed to meditation at a young age and asks questions that can help shape the way we think about self-care.

Dana has made her passion a priority and advises others to do the same—this can be a huge help when it comes to setting boundaries. It’s important to make room in your schedule for things you want to do, otherwise you’re saying yes to what everyone else wants to do, which in turn will make you miserable. This segment of Dana’s episode is a gold mine, and there’s something for everyone to learn from her as she speaks about her boundaries journey.

Breathwork has been monumental to Dana as she keeps up with her physical and mental health. The link between the two became clear with her breathwork, and it helped her understand where her anxiety might be stemming from. She describes emotions as waves, which has been one of the best explanations I’ve heard; I’m grateful Dana was able to share it with us.

Supporting other women in living unapologetically “starts with you living unapologetically.” Dana shares how she used to diminish her own light and power, but she has since turned this attitude around. I absolutely loved hearing Dana talk about how she’s found herself and how passionate she is about everyone finding their purpose in life.

Dana’s why is essential to her and guides her in everything she does. Her values help her in making the right decisions for herself as well as others, and that’s all you can really ask for. “Life is designed to be abundant and beautiful,” Dana says, which she showcases in her life brilliantly.

Living out of her own expectations versus others’ is one of the most difficult parts of Dana’s journey. The idea of success is different for everyone, so listening to someone else’s version of success and happiness can muddle your own ideas. However, hearing Dana describe her journey with expectations is encouraging and inspiring.

Accepting the layered aspects of yourself isn’t an easy feat, but Dana shows us the exciting parts of discovering yourself. She says that we’re able to experience so much in life, and being curious rather than afraid can be quite impactful.

I love the end of the episode when Dana is discussing cultivating healthy relationships through F.E.E.L. One thing she says is that allowing herself to feel and express her emotions allows her to show grace for others in her life.

Dana has been an incredible guest for the podcast, and I appreciate all of the knowledge she had to share. You can learn more about Dana on the Embracing Layers website, check out her resources page, and if you’d like to work with Dana, visit her website for more information.

Ways to Engage: As Dana mentions in this episode, everyone has their own idea of what success is. What does success mean to you? Have other people’s ideas of success altered the way you think of it? Think about what you want out of life, what would make you happy, and begin your journey towards success.

Episode 7 - Triumph over Trauma with Suzy Ryan

By Jessica Garrison

Trigger warning: rape

Our guest this week is so charismatic and full of life that you will wish this episode was longer. Suzy Ryan digs deep with Melissa into her past, how her journey has evolved, and how she’s become the remarkable woman she is today.

The first step in Suzy’s journey was admitting she was a people pleaser. She had an insatiable need for people to adore her, and I think many of us can agree with this feeling, even to the point where we change our identities along the way to become what others will like. However, Suzy reached a point where she began taking care of herself as she authentically was and saw a huge transformation.

When people get used to you not having boundaries, there can be some pushback once you finally set them in place, and Suzy was no exception to this experience. She has so much power and grace within herself that she was able to change the narrative of her boundaries.

Suzy has come up with a mantra that she is “unoffendable,” and someone’s bad behavior should not reflect her own behavior, which I completely agree with. She explains this so well during the talking point of taking care of our emotional health as much as our physical health, and I agree that adapting her way of thinking is a great way to protect your emotional health, especially if there are some negative or toxic people in your life.

In supporting other women in living unapologetically, Suzy shares, “I would never be as hard on others as I am on myself.” This is another ideal that a lot of us can agree with. We should show ourselves as much kindness as we show others, and self-talk can be pivotal in these instances. Suzy also mentions the importance of self-talk throughout her episode, and it can be life-changing.

Suzy’s why is bettering herself and, in turn, that betters those around her. She shares a story during this segment about a day with her husband that really helps put things into perspective, especially when old trauma can show up in new ways. However, Suzy proves that we don’t have to let it control us.

While talking about living out of her own expectations, Suzy shockingly shares how she was raped at a very young age. She was able to write about this traumatic incident in her book, Saving Summer. She goes into further detail about how this shows up in her book, including a conversation she had with her editor. If this topic isn’t too triggering, I highly recommend listening and sharing.

Suzy has her own website if you’re interested in hearing more from her or reading her book. She also has been published in quite a few impressive mediums that are worth checking out as well. I can say with the utmost confidence that everyone can learn something from Suzy’s story, and she serves as a great reminder that you’re not alone in your journey, no matter when you choose to begin it.

Ways to Engage: Throughout the episode, Suzy says that she changed her mindset by becoming “unoffendable.” What did the word mean to you before listening to the episode, and what does it mean to you after listening? How can you implement this idea into your everyday life that can affect it for the better? Track your ideas and progress from this so you can look back and see how far you’ve come.

Episode 6 - Learning to Care For & Love the Skin You’re In with Natalie Bevans

By Jessica Garrison

I am so excited for our guest, Natalie Bevans, this week. She’s an aesthetician, and I’ve been obsessed with skincare since I was an acne-riddled teenager. She sees the connection between a person’s health and their skin and offers a different perspective to the talking points throughout the episode.

We’ve heard plenty of self-care tips from women over the years, and we’ve learned that self-care doesn’t have to be a grand event. Natalie shares a handful of ways she expresses self-care, even in the smallest of ways.

Although setting boundaries can be challenging, Natalie reminds us that it isn’t selfish to take care of and protect yourself. It’s important to communicate those boundaries to those you love, which is arguably the most difficult part of the process. However, if a boundary is important to you, then it’s worth seeing through.

Being an aesthetician, skin is an important part of Natalie’s life, and your skin can tell a lot about your health, both mentally and physically. Acne appears with stress, and your skin is a clue as to what’s going on with your body. Natalie shares the importance of trusting yourself, and listening to her speak is a true reminder of that.

Living as your authentic self isn’t always the easiest thing to do, but it’s important to show yourself to the world and how eloquently you can evolve. If other women see you doing this, it only inspires them to do this as well, and we need more of that in the world.

Natalie’s why centers her and gives her purpose. It’s normal to have a different why for different circumstances, as long as you’re being true to yourself and doing what you think is best. Your why and living out of your own expectations are intertwined, and understanding one can help you understand yourself as a whole as Natalie has shown.

To accept her layers, Natalie asks herself, “What do I love?” What does she love in life, what does she love about herself, and who does she love? All of these questions can help you along in your journey, just as they helped Natalie. What you love about yourself can come out as well, and that can only help you in the process of accepting the layered aspects of yourself.

Natalie says that F.E.E.L. affects her relationships positively, and it’s been empowering to take control over her own life. Just as it affects the relationship she has with herself, it’s also affected the way other people see her.

Natalie had so much intelligence and wonderful content to share with us, and I can’t wait for everyone to hear her episode. You can check out our website for more information about Natalie and see the incredible resources she shared with us.

Ways to Engage: Natalie describes the connection between the health of your skin and the health of your mind and body. Have you ever noticed changes in your skin when a stressful event is coming up, or you haven’t been taking care of yourself physically? If not, start to pay attention to your skin as it coincides with outside factors, and use this as a tool to indicate how you’re taking care of yourself.

Episode 5 - Embracing the Body Healing Itself with Heather Dillard

By Jessica Garrison

This week, Heather Dillard joins Melissa in talking about her journey, particularly with her body. She shares her experiences with holistic wellness practices as well as owning a bakery that specializes in gluten-free and dairy-free products. She has seen the effects of her actions and wants to spread the wealth of knowledge she has learned along the way.

Being a holistic coach, Heather is very aware of her body and enjoys participating in physical self-care. She was given false information when she was younger about her body, and it took a toll on her. Not taking care of her body had consequences that changed Heather’s life, and two years passed before she could feel at home in her body again.

A lot of Heather’s boundaries come from her dietary restrictions, and although people are more open about gluten-free and vegan diets in today’s world, there are still times she has to stand up for herself and set a firm boundary. I’ve seen it myself with people who are gluten-free, and there can be a lot of peer pressure when it comes to a person’s diet. However, seeing the benefits of sticking to her boundaries with both her mind and body has made it easier over the years.

While discussing her mental and physical health, Heather shared how she was a foster mom of 3 children. She discovered just how necessary it is to listen to your body, which essentially is the boss of all else. She also worked in a school system and was able to understand the children on a different level because she understood the connection between the body and the mind.

When asked how she supports women in living unapologetically, Heather showcased just how compassionate and understanding she is. Everyone has a story, and being gentle with one another is sometimes all you need. I appreciate the kindness that she displays; the world would be a much better place if more people like Heather existed.

Heather’s current values include her physical health being a priority and making it a point to keep herself recharged. She says that when you know what your values are, it makes decision-making a lot easier, and I agree with her completely. Living out of her own expectations is a difficult process for Heather, but she credits her values with helping her move in the right direction. This ties into her boundaries since she’s a people pleaser, and defying people’s expectations of you can be demanding but also quite rewarding.

Over the years, Heather has learned to accept her body’s capacity and create a balance between her body and spirit. Heather offers great advice that helped her accept the layered aspects of herself, and I think everyone has something to learn from this segment of the podcast.

We get energy from those around us, and Heather speaks to how F.E.E.L affects the relationships she has. During this segment, Heather shares her many talents, and she offers many ways that people can heal themselves, both physically and mentally. When others see her doing these and putting in the effort, they want to as well.

Heather’s resources will be listed on our website at embracinglayers.com if you’re interested in learning more about her, booking an appointment with her for holistic coaching, or if you’re hungry for a sweet treat from her bakery. Let us know what you thought of Heather’s episode and if you loved it as much as I did!

Ways to Engage: Have you seen the effects that food has, not only on your body, but on your mental health as well? What are some patterns you see? Do you keep track of what you eat and the ingredients in the food? Why or why not? After listening to Heather’s episode, it might be helpful to reevaluate your diet to see what is working and what is not for all aspects of your health.

Episode 4 - Learning to Love Your Layers with Jasmine Rice

By Jessica Garrison

Trigger warning: suicide

Although the conversation this week contains some heavy topics, they are also very important to bring to the forefront. I thank our guest, Jasmine Rice, for her vulnerability, honesty, and good spirit as she shares her life with us this week, and I’m so excited for everyone to listen!

Self-care wasn’t in Jasmine’s vocabulary until about five years ago, but she began her self-care journey cognitively after going through a divorce. Her self-care evolves every day, but in the beginning, even taking a shower was nourishing for Jasmine. I’m glad she mentioned this (along with so many other helpful tips) because showering can become quite laborious if you’re depressed. If you understand this feeling, instead of thinking of showering as a chore, you can start to think of it as a form of self-care.

As a people pleaser, setting boundaries is challenging for Jasmine. She doesn’t want to rub people the wrong way by setting a boundary and sticking to it, but sometimes it’s necessary. She shared an example about her dad during this segment that proves she’s better at setting boundaries than she thought. Even if setting a boundary is difficult, if it’s important to you, then it’s worth it in the end, and you can expect to see the benefits of that decision.

Jasmine has been in and out of therapy since she was 13 after a suicide attempt, and even though she didn’t want to go at first, she’s realized the advantages of seeing a therapist. She describes her connection with her physical body and how much healthier it is to have a balance now that she is properly taking care of her mental health.

In supporting women, Jasmine joined a women’s networking group and has learned it’s important to stay true to who you are. Comparison is something we all do (and are taught to do as women), but not everything is what it seems, and Jasmine speaks to this so strongly throughout her episode.

Although our purpose and why are always evolving, Jasmine’s current why is helping people. She describes some hardships she experienced that helped to shape her why, and I love how encouraging she is with her purpose. It’s easy to become bitter when bad things happen to us, but Jasmine doesn’t want others to go through what she did and is spreading some positivity.

Jasmine shares the experience of her first job that had no boundaries when talking about living out of her own expectations versus others’. She and Melissa agreed that it starts young, when people put expectations on their children that they should be living up to. Some of them have good intentions, but sometimes it’s too much pressure to live your life for someone else because there’s no way to make everyone happy.

My favorite segment from this episode was probably accepting the layered aspects of yourself, as Jasmine shares her history in more detail. There are so many factors that led her to become who she is today, just as we all find ourselves along the way.

Now that Jasmine has been embracing her layers, taking care of herself, and setting necessary boundaries, she’s become more comfortable and confident with herself: “I love myself, and I don’t think I would’ve said that five years ago.” We want everyone to not only cultivate healthy relationships through F.E.E.L., but to also fall in love with themselves; it’s one of the most rewarding and special experiences there is.

Feel free to visit the Resources page on the Embracing Layers website for some of Jasmine’s brilliant recommendations and join the conversation on our Substack!

Ways to Engage: Self-love can be a fleeting emotion, but ask yourself if you truly love who you are. What emotions does this bring up for you? Why do you think you feel that way? Even if it’s uncomfortable, you owe yourself the opportunity to begin a journey towards self-love and self-acceptance.

Episode 3 - Empowerment and Purpose with Pat Rullo

By Jessica Garrison

Our tenacious guest this week is Pat Rullo, who has accomplished so much in her lifetime. Apart from her professional accomplishments, Pat is a dependable, impatient, and creative woman. She found herself being an advocate for her mother in the healthcare system while also writing multiple books to help others who may be in a similar situation. Pat was such a joy to listen to, describing her history as well as how she plans to move forward in her journey.

Self-care and boundaries go hand in hand for Pat, and she’s learned that sometimes it’s the simplest acts that can help nourish your body. She talks about her process in deciding what’s best for her in both cases, and I think everyone has something to learn from Pat when it comes to consistency and knowing your worth.

Emotional health wasn’t a conversation Pat had growing up, although she was thoughtful of her physical health. Usually growing up, everyone focuses on your physical health: if you’re the right weight, if you’re as tall as you should be, if you’re exerting the energy you need to. However, your emotional health catches up eventually, and Pat has seen the after-effects of this. It’s refreshing to hear her talk about what she does to take care of her mental health and how that can sometimes coincide with her physical health. It’s all part of a bigger conversation we need to be having, even from a young age.

Supporting women is in Pat’s everyday life, and she consciously takes advantage of that. She believes the women she meets are brought into her life for a reason, and it’s important to take care of those relationships. Pat also shares a story of how she supports soldiers overseas by making them feel a little more at home, and I love the importance she puts on listening and spreading positivity.

Pat is attracted to teaching, and the journey she experienced with her mother made her want to share her story and educate others on the ambiguity of the medical system. Just like most of us, Pat has high expectations for herself, and this has shaped her journey along the way. If she says she’ll do something, not only will it get done, but it will be done to the best of her ability.

Layers can change and evolve, but that’s okay; it isn’t normal for things to stay the same all the time, especially when it comes to people. Seeing growth within ourselves and others makes space for even more development. With F.E.E.L., Pat loves herself more and has learned it’s okay to be yourself. Even if you don’t know it yet, you can define your empowerment, find it, and embrace it.

To learn more about the impressive life and accomplishments of Pat Rullo, visit our website! There will also be a list of Pat’s resources that she’s come across on her journey thus far, and we can further spread the wealth of knowledge.

Ways to Engage: Pat mentions simple acts being part of her self-care routine, proving that it’s different for everyone and can be found in even the busiest parts of our day. What are some examples of simple self-care steps you can implement into your life, and how does completing these everyday make you feel? We love to hear people’s journeys with self-care, so please feel free to share any tips or tricks that have helped you along the way.

Episode 2 - Empowerment Through Tracking Your Self Care with Dr. Jennifer Harrison

By Jessica Garrison

We are continuing the open to our 6th season strong with Dr. Jennifer Harrison as our guest this week. She is an intelligent and patient individual, a combination that changes the world for the better. Between the effortless conversation and Jennifer’s clever insight, this episode is full of gems you’ll want to pay attention to.

Jennifer described variations of rest during the self-care discussion, such as physical, emotional, creative, and spiritual. An exercise that works one day may not work the next because the type of rest we need can be so complex. However, listening to Jennifer share how she’s come to discover what fits best for her routine serves as a reminder not to give up.

When dealing with boundaries, the key is remembering your worth and your priorities. This segment was my favorite during the episode because of Jennifer's realistic consideration; even though we may have a plan in our heads, things don’t always go according to plan. I’m interested in hearing what listeners have to say about boundaries after hearing this necessary conversation with Jennifer.

Coming from a family of academics, mental health wasn’t always made a priority in Jennifer’s life. There’s a general stigma against therapy in society, but having a trained, objective third party can help you work through any situation. Along with taking care of her mental health as much as her physical health, Jennifer’s “why” also ties into looking inward at who she is authentically.

This reigns true when it comes to other people’s expectations as well. It’s important to look inward at ourselves and decide what it is we truly want. Is it worth letting go to appease someone else’s dreams? Why are you trying to meet their expectations rather than your own? We tend to hold ourselves to higher standards than others, but either way, we work towards exceeding people’s expectations. At the end of the day, it’s impossible to make everyone happy.

Jennifer is constantly uplifting, encouraging, and supporting women as a dissertation coach, but she hasn’t always been doing what she loves in a healthy environment. She shares her journey of leaving a toxic workplace and finding a position where not only she belongs, but she can help others feel like they belong, too. Everyone needs a person like Jennifer, who can read and appreciate their work while helping them learn to be better. It’s easy to get discouraged, especially in the academic field, and I love that Jennifer can create a positive space for people to share their work without fear of rejection.

Jennifer says it’s never too late to start uncovering your layers. You are not the same person now as you were 5 years ago, just like you are not the same person now as you will be in 10 years. People are fluid and forever changing, which makes the lifelong journey of embracing your layers so beautiful. Jennifer shares a lot of great information regarding self-compassion and kindness, which everyone needs more of.

Jennifer shared so many wonderful anecdotes and such brilliance throughout this episode. Let us know what your favorite part of the episode was, and hopefully, we will hear more from Dr. Jennifer Harrison in the future!

Ways to Engage: What are some techniques you use to track your self-care, if any at all? After listening to the episode, what are some techniques you’d like to implement or get rid of when tracking self-care? How is your practice affected by what Jennifer said, and or what are your thoughts on tracking your self-care?

Episode 1 - Finding Value in Your Purpose with Carenda Deonne

By Jessica Garrison

Welcome back to the F.E.E.L Podcast! It seems crazy that we’re already launching the 6th season of our podcast, and we have so many stories to share with you this season. Our guest this week wants to be known and remembered as a woman of wisdom, and I think everyone will agree that Carenda Deonne is just that by the end of this episode.

Carenda shared that she had not always been proactive with her self-care, and she, unfortunately, had to learn to work it into her schedule more after experiencing pain: emotional and physical. During this talking point, she shares the incredible distinction between purpose and value, which has made all the difference in her life.

A giver and lover by nature, boundaries did not come easy for Carenda, and she continues to work through them with great effort. There’s a fear of disappointing people when it comes to boundaries, and I think Carenda perfectly explains how she’s been able to continue with her boundaries and how her perfectionism was hindering them at first.

Carenda is very passionate about the connection to physical and emotional health, which is always refreshing to hear from people. The connection is not always taken seriously and sometimes it takes a major event to get people to understand how important it is. Throughout the episode, Carenda shares her tactics of emotional detox and how this has been able to help her in this journey.

As important as it is to pour into other people as well as to pour into ourselves, it’s equally as important to surround yourself with others who do the same and pour into you as well. By loving our true selves, we’re able to love others for living their truths, genuinely creating a better space to live in. Carenda does a wonderful job in this episode explaining how her “why” continues to grow and develop, leaving behind a legacy that is positive, compassionate, and healing.

It’s unfulfilling to live your life through someone else’s expectations, and Carenda revealed how she was a pastor’s wife. It isn’t the easiest position to have, especially when your actions are constantly being watched by the community. We’ve actually had another guest, Stephanie Hunter, share a similar experience on being a pastor’s wife, and all of the expectations that come with that.

Living out F.E.E.L has affected many areas of Carenda’s life, such as her mindset, her nature, and her abilities. She wants people to know her as authentically and genuinely as they can, which shines through when you listen to her episode. Seeds will come to harvest, so it’s important to stay true to who you are, and it has positively impacted Carenda’s relationship with others as well as herself.

Make sure to check out the resources she provided on our website, as well as Carenda’s website, so everyone can dive deeper into Carenda’s story!

Ways to Engage: Carenda opened up about feelings of guilt that have caused bumps in her boundaries journey. What feelings, guilt included, have come up for you when discussing, establishing, and actively setting your boundaries? Sometimes the emotions we see come up through expressing boundaries for the first time can reveal a new layer to your character and how best to continue moving forward.